Niles Crane asked his brother Frasier Crane on season 1, episode 24  “Are you happy? If someone asked me the same, I would have to think a while like Frasier did.

What is happiness anyway?
Last time I was truly happy was a long time ago. I would say I had a happy childhood. Minus my sister’s death of course. Before that my life was happy. I had loving parents and my sister adored me. Both of my grandmothers were still alive. My mother told me once that when I was born my sister was really excited. She loved having a little sister. Even if our time together was short, it was still the best time of my life. All those Lapland trips, birthdays and Christmases. Those I would call happiness. A loving family is everyone’s wish. In that way I was lucky.

I’ve had more downsides than upsides in my life. I don’t dream big because of that. I’ve learned to enjoy the small things. A bike ride, watching my favorite movies or TV shows, listening to music of all kind. Watching comedy really lifts my spirit. Also writing makes me happy. Mostly fan fiction. When I get an idea, I can’t stop writing. Sometimes it can take hours. I can write and write but if someone interrupts my train of thought, I can get quite irritated. I will probably never publish them but writing them is good therapy. For me happiness is also just walking alone with my camera and take photos of nature. There would be no one around.

I was happy in 2011 before my mother became sick. We went to Lapland. To the same place we went almost every year. We slalom skied for a week. That also made me happy, skiing. It was a time things were good for a while.

If I’m happy now? No, no one is happy if you have no job and your life is going in around in circles. Also when you lost someone close to you not so long ago. Happiness is the last thing on your mind.