Break the silence or put on the brake

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Maybe it’s the hot summer or because I don’t get many likes with newer posts, but blogging isn’t the way it used to be. I don’t know if if I should break the silence or put on the brake with the whole thing. There are days I think I might write something, but other times I think why I should bother. It isn’t only blogging but writing in general. It feels like all that writing work are a waste of energy when it doesn’t get many likes. I don’t only write for myself. I also want others to read them. I wouldn’t put them online if I didn’t. It goes with blogging and posting fiction, also with social media. Sharing is caring, after all. I could just write things down on paper or private blog. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t post things only to get likes. Internet is a big place, and you never know if anyone actually reads or looks at what you post. They might only click on like by mistake.

I haven’t found a cure for cancer or any other great achievement, but I wish my posts would have more likes after nine years. At least older posts get likes from time to time. Sometimes it feels I’m only starting with blogging. I didn’t expect my blog would attract the same kind of attention as some other blogs do. My life is boring, so I have nothing existing to share. Getting likes or not is not the issue. I don’t know what to write in this blog anymore. Maybe I just need to put on the brake and have a break from blogging a while. Summer is a time when people are outside, so they don’t have time to read blogs. Especially when it’s hot, I’m too tired to think about anything important. When the hot weather stops, I might continue blogging. But you never know, I might still do it. I never know when inspiration strikes.

Passed the test

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I started in February, and now in July, I passed the driving test. I didn’t leave it halfway as I did about 26 years ago. The actual learning starts now. I had a lot of problems with the gears. In the driving test, the test person (or whatever they’re called) said I had used gear one on the motorway. I didn’t notice. I thought it was the 3rd gear. I didn’t have problems with them the last time I went to driving school. The parking wasn’t easy either. I am surprised I passed. It didn’t feel I deserved it. I felt numb, actually. The main thing was to get a drivers license, and I did. Now I have to learn how to drive my dad’s car. At least I know how the windows work. I opened them by mistake in the driving test, and I didn’t know how to close them—darn buttons. I had only driven the car and never used buttons on the vehicle. The vehicle of the school was newer than my dad’s. It’s more manual. If you want to drive an automatic, then you need to take a course on that separately. That means more expense. I already paid over 1000 euro for this course, so that should be enough.

I will still walk and use a bike. You can’t become lazy because you have a driver’s license. You need to keep in shape somehow. If I want to go somewhere further, then I can take the car. Especially if the weather is hot as it has been for ages now. Cycling is not fun when it’s like that. A car also has air conditioning, so it’s good too. I’m glad I achieved this. I also don’t need to go to driving lessons anymore. I have to learn to drive all by myself. It’s a bit unsettling since I haven’t driven alone before. It does help a bit for having driven a car before. When I had driving lessons, it was the teacher who said which way to go. I want to know where I’m going beforehand. I didn’t stop halfway like I do in most things. I’m really proud of myself for getting that license. I wish I didn’t stop halfway with other things. It usually ends before it even starts. I rather bump into trouble with life things than bumping into something with a car. Then the damage would cause true problems.

Free as a bird

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Free as a bird

Free from responsibilities

Free to go anywhere

Free from other people

Free to fancy anyone

Free for doing what I want

Free to talk to me

Free to write this poem

Free from spending money on kids

Free from hard relationships

Free from going to work

Free from smelling addictions

Free to write about anything I like

Free from eating sweets whenever I like

Free what I want to be, and that’s me