There will be no white flag above my door

flags
Made in Canva. Flags made by me.

The blog title is from Dido’s song “White Flag” Like the song says, “And I won’t put my hands up and surrender” If you give in, well you give in. But giving up should not be an option. If you’re tired you should take a rest and not force yourself to do things. Yesterday I had a very tiring day after all the sneezing I had. My note kept itching and I sneezed several times all day. That is very tiring. I didn’t feel like doing anything. I was supposed to do my school assignments but I was just too tired. But then I took a rest and now I feel much better. I could just have given up and let it be the way I’ve done them so far. But I don’t want to leave them unfinished. I didn’t want to do a bad job. I’m almost finished with the assignments but I still have some writing to do. Tomorrow I might get some more ideas. This was just one example of giving up. Or the lack of it. When I study something I take it seriously. I wasn’t always like that.

When I was younger I gave up with school work because I thought it was hard. But I had to pay for that later. I’ve given up twice when it came to education. One was in photography and the other was a business school. The later was for a different reason. The photography one was something I wanted to study but it was in a place where it was quite difficult to get to. I had a great roommate but that was probably the only reason it was OK to be there. If only digital photography was more common at the time. If I had continued who knows where I would have been now. In 2009 I studied graphic design and I decided then I would not quit ever no matter what. It was a 2-year education and I did have moments where I wanted to quit. But because of the teachers and a psychologist I could talk to, I didn’t. It was quite lonely in the evening because all my classmates lived at home. Only one of them lived in the dorm but she had her own friends. The education itself was interesting but the rest was quite hard. I wasn’t really friends with my classmates. Sometimes we talked but that’s it. Most of them were smokers so I didn’t belong in that group. They were nice people but still, they had their own little world. A bit unfair if you ask me. Smokers united. Yuck.

I really haven’t quit any education after that. When you get older you’re more resilient when it comes to drawbacks. Everything can’t always be fun games. Sometimes you have to do things that you’re not comfortable with or hate doing. You should never give up on yourself even if someone else does. A lot of people will be jealous because you know what you want to do with your life. Anyone can give advice but it’s up to you if you should act on it or not. If you do everything someone else says, you will lose yourself. If they say you can’t do it, prove them wrong. If not for them, do it for yourself. No one knows you better than you. If everyone would give up, a lot of things would have been undone. You don’t have to invent something that will change the world. You should do things that make you happy. If someone tries to rush you to do things, just relax and take your time. No one should be in that kind of hurry that they can’t wait. People stress needlessly about choices they think they have to make. If it’s meant to happen it will and if not, then move on. You shouldn’t dwell on things you can’t control. Maybe it’s because of my laid-back attitude but I don’t worry too much about anything. I do obsess over things but I do it in my head. I might look calm on the outside but my mind is full of different conflicts. After I’ve been thinking through them, I move on.

Life is never easy for anyone. If you give up as soon as you hit problems, you don’t appreciate life well enough. Strong people should help the ones who aren’t but it seems people have forgotten how. There are so much greed and rudeness in the world. You don’t have to like a person but at least be nice to them. Even a fake smile is better than no smile at all. People give up too easily when it comes to meeting new people. I really dislike this first impression thing. In others words, you have to be something you’re not. If people wouldn’t wave the white flag so easily when they first meet me, I could have at least one friend outside the internet. You should get to know the person before judging them. Already having enough friends, is not a good excuse. But if they’re so set in their ways, they’re not worth having. Being alone is better than being with people who give up on you as soon as things change. Not finding friends is probably the only time I have the white flag above my door.

 

Never synchronized

Lack of serendipity. A poem I wrote about synchronized in 2017.

In my world

red arrows planesNever synchronized

Never happens at the same time

Meet someone special by chance

Be at the right time, at the right place

Never synchronized with anyone or anything

Am I cursed or is it just bad luck

For once I want to synchronize with something

Everything happens in a different beat

It happens to someone else but never to you

Never synchronized and it blows

It doesn’t give you happiness but it gives you hope

Things should synchronize at least once in life

Some have more luck than others but I have none

Maybe being synchronized isn’t meant for me

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