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Thanks for standing by. It’s been a month again since I blogged last. I’ve been busy with the filmmaking course with assignments. When I have time, I never seem to have the time to do anything anyway. I sleep late, or I watch sports on TV. Or if I need to help my dad with something. If I don’t have anything to write, then I don’t. Thanks for staying. No matter what the reason is to be following this blog, thanks for doing so.
Looking at my blog stats and posts I’ve made in this blog, November seems to be a quiet month for me. At least in the 2020s. I don’t know what it is. People find this blog anyway, even if I haven’t written in a while. So thanks for that. I won’t bore you with that stats things.
I won’t say thanks to the job search world. You send an open application, but you still won’t get anything. No one seems to look for new employers. I’m supposed to send one job application each month. I can’t find anything, so it seems forced. The job suggestions I get are all wrong. I don’t know if I have the strength to both study and be at work. I have never done it, even if I have studied full-time. If I had my own business, I could work when I wanted, and I didn’t need to ask permission when I had to go to school. When you’re unemployed, you need to search for work at the same time. It’s challenging to find a job that lets you study at the same time. I just have to send open applications even if they don’t work. At least I’ve looked for work. That’s better than not doing it. I can at least concentrate on the school assignments in peace.
Thanks if you got this far; reading this. You can relax now. This is the end of this post.
Aquadynamic is a problematic word to make a post about. But I can describe my current emotions. If you haven’t noticed, it was a month ago that I posted on this blog. I don’t know, but somehow I haven’t had the right feeling to write anything. Let’s just say life has come before everything else. My filmmaking education started at Helsinki Design School last week. The first meeting was last Wednesday and Thursday. I think it went well. My schoolmates are OK, I guess. Getting to know people is difficult when you hardly have any breaks. Lunch break, perhaps, but we have different tastes. Since it’s in Helsinki, I like to walk in the city alone. I know the centre by heart since I’ve been there many times. I do some sightseeing and go to school. Two flies at one hit, so to speak. The education in itself is engaging. I already know something about filmmaking since I’ve studied screenplay writing, but a repeat doesn’t hurt. There will be something new too. We get assignments that we have to do to pass the course. The good thing about studying film is that you can watch movies or movie scenes. The problem is trying to analyse scenes. That’s what the assignments we have this time. We have two tasks since it was two days. The deadline is November 18. Our next meeting is on Nov. 17. Before that, I have no contact with my schoolmates. They all have WhatsApp, but I don’t. Maybe I should get it, too, so I don’t get left out. I don’t have any use for it, but perhaps I could make an exception this time.
Another thing I’ve done recently was going to an ice hockey game. The local team organisation turned 100 years old last Saturday. The organisation contain several different sports teams. One of them is an ice hockey team. It was an anniversary match, so there were celebrations before the game started. There were former players, including Saku Koivu. If you follow ice hockey or the news in general, you might know who it is. He used to play in NHL, in Montreal Canadiens, to be exact. Anyway, it was a beautiful ceremony. The match was won by our team in overtime, 1-0. I don’t go to games that often. Maybe once or twice a year. But when I do, I enjoy every moment.
I’m going to see the movie ‘Amsterdam’ tomorrow afternoon (October 19). It features Christian Bale. I don’t know what it is about, though. I want to be surprised. I watch almost anything that Bale is in. There are only a few I haven’t seen, and one of them is ‘American psycho’ That movie is too creepy for my taste. It’s pretty expensive to go to the movies. I belong to a movie panel where they send surveys to take, and then you get small amounts of money. When you “collected” 10 euros, you get a free movie ticket. Sometimes you need to pay 3 euros, but that’s a small price to pay. I’ve already seen 4 movies this year. Tomorrow it’s the 5th time. I also went to the movies during covid, but not so often. I choose what movies to watch. Sometimes it’s not worth going to the movies because they will be shown on TV or streaming services anyway. Nothing beats a movie theatre, though. It’s for the big screen that makes a movie unique. Life without entertainment is no life at all.
I already have plans for next year. I’m going to see Robbie Williams again on March 5. The last time he was here was in 2017. I thought then that I wished I could see him live one day again, and the day did come. It will be the first time I’ve seen an artist twice. When opportunity knocks, take it, I would say. To think that I didn’t like big crowds when I was younger. I never thought I would, but I guess age makes you braver. You get used to it when you get out of your comfort zone more often. It’s pretty nice out there, after all.
Some things you can’t control. Like a death in the family. No one should go through that. Especially if you’re still a child. A childhood should be happy without sorrow. Mine was happy until that day when my sister died. I was only 6 years old and death is something you don’t think about. I don’t remember much about it. In a way it was good I was so young. I didn’t have to go through the same thing as my parents. All those hospital visits and coping with the illness. I don’t really know what she had but it was something to do with her immune system. It was rare at the time. Her death did affect my life in many ways.
I’ve thought a lot of times how my life would have been if she wouldn’t have gotten sick. We were quite close. I don’t think our relationship would have changed much. She would have been my rock. If I had problems I could talk to her. She would be a great comfort. Especially now when mother have passed away. If I had lived my life with my sister in it, I would probably be more outgoing and have more confidence.
If I could turn back time and live my childhood all over again, I would wish my sister would be healthy and see adulthood. The holidays would be much better if she would still be around.
I don’t know how it is to have siblings nor being the only child. I’ve experienced both. When I hear or read how people complain about having a sibling, I just think “at least they have someone” They can be a pain but that’s a small prize to pay. Living alone without one is not that much fun either.
Losing a sister at a young age has helped me understand other people who have lost a loved one. I don’t see death as a scary thing. I don’t even cry at the movies because it’s all fake anyway. For some death is something they don’t want to think about. They don’t know how to take other people’s sorrow. Only people who have gone through the same thing can understand.
It’s not only what you go through in your childhood that molds you. It’s what you experience through life. If I hadn’t gone through what I have been through I wouldn’t be the person I am today. I am what I am and nobody can tell me to be something I’m not. That’s something everybody should remember.
Originally published on December 1, 2014