New door do not open

old keys
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You know the saying, when one door closes, another opens. Well, I’ve tried to open a lot of doors but they still remain closed. I’m speaking in metaphors of course. Mostly doors about opportunities. Or lack of them that is. Sometimes it feels like I’m being lied to so I don’t take chances because of that. I have never got anything in life easy. I didn’t even get away from household chores when I was a child. My mother always said to me to clean up but she only wanted to teach me responsibility. When other kids got pocket money without having to do anything, I actually had to work for it. She also taught me to save money for a rainy day. I just wish I could earn that money instead of living on benefits. That’s where this open door thing comes in.

I opened doors to studying and thought that would open another door. But instead, it hasn’t brought me any opportunities. No matter how strong you are mentally it still bothers you what’s wrong with you that not even Lady Luck knocks on your door. You know you can do things but no one really pays you any attention. It doesn’t help in what school you attended and how many educations you have. That door just won’t open. I’ve started to think why the reason might be and I came to the conclusion it’s work experience. I have it but they’re internships. Some don’t see that has experience. Sorry but that’s all I have been given. Just because I haven’t got paid a real salary, it doesn’t mean it isn’t work experience. Should I find a time machine so I can go back in time to find a “real job”? I don’t think so. It seems some employers are idiots. OK, fine don’t give me a chance. Your loss. It shouldn’t matter if you got paid for the job or not. I don’t know what internships should be called then if not work experience. They’re done in a real working environment and not done at home. An internship is better than nothing. Some don’t even have that.

Those internships haven’t helped much. All of those places haven’t opened any doors. So when people say internships will help to get a job is just nonsense. Employers only want to exploit cheap labour. All this propaganda that unemployment has decreased are just fillers in the media. Whoever believes in that are fools. Only the people with good connections will open the next door. All those unlucky ones have to settle for what they got. Most people have dreams and goals but they don’t have a chance to make them true because they have so many other issues to handle. Everyone can’t become entrepreneurs or be at the right place at the right time.

Sometimes I want to give up and not even try to open another door. But then motivation kicks in and I’m full of hope. It doesn’t take long but at least I see it. Failing is part of life but it’s like the heatwave, it’s only temporarily. Even successful people have had it rough but they didn’t give up. If they had, they wouldn’t be here to courage people. Intentionally or unintentionally. Everyone has doubts. A lot of athletes have had injuries and they thought they wouldn’t be as good as they were before it. They believed in themselves and they made a comeback (like Novak Djokovic who won Wimbledon yesterday) Things like that lifts up my spirit. Believing in yourself when no one else seems to is the best revenge. I will try to open every door until I find the door that opens. It must out there somewhere.

Not superstition, only a habit

horse shoes against wooden wall
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I’m not superstition, it’s only a habit. I always get up on the left side of the bed. I always like seeing the door to my bedroom from my bed so my feet are facing the door. Even in hotels, I like it that way. I put my socks on last and always on the right foot first. When I see a crooked painting or a board on a wall, I have the urge to straighten it. When I write on a paper and see some letter(s) being faint and even if it’s totally understandable, I still fill it so it looks almost perfect. I never tell my plans to anyone because I think that brings bad luck. That’s not superstition, that’s just something I do. Even if I had told my plans to someone, they still haven’t happened. But sometimes it does work. Like the graphic design in Helsinki Design School. I didn’t tell my dad I applied for it and then I did get in. I might have written it on Twitter but that doesn’t count. It’s more about telling someone outside the internet.

I do not believe having a rabbit’s tale or finding four-leaf clover will bring you good luck. I found one clover once but it didn’t do anything. In Midsummer Eve you are supposed to pick up 7 (or even 13) different wildflowers and then put them under your pillow. Then you’re supposed to dream about who you gonna marry. I’ve never tried but I don’t believe you do. The same with catching a bouquet at a wedding. Like you’re the next one to get married. Yeah right. I haven’t actually been to a wedding but I would like to try that in theory just to see the real truth. All these old superstitions are just old wife’s tails. People only do all these rituals because it’s part of a tradition. If people believe in these kind of things then let them but I do not.

Friday 13 and even the number brings bad luck to people. I’ve never had any. Bad luck happens on other days so maybe 13 is a lucky number for me. I didn’t even realise it’s Friday 13 today until looked at the calendar on my phone. It’s just another day. Numbers are just that and I don’t have a lucky number. I like 5 and 7 but their not lucky numbers. I don’t have a reason why they’re my favourite. It doesn’t define me as a person or anything. They just look good. There’s always someone who wants to analyse what number means what. For me, it doesn’t matter. I have better things to do then care about superstition. What would life be if we all would stop doing things just because you think it brings bad luck. That’s not a life, that’s being controlled by misleads. You should be your own person and not believe everything you think it’s true. Too much is always too much.