I haven’t been writing this blog in a month. How fast time goes. There are several reasons. Summer heat (which I hate) Then driving school. The UX/UI design course. And frankly, I’ve been too tired to think about writing anything. It’s been too hot inside, so I’ve been outside where there is wind. I wish this heatwave would be over, but it’s getting hotter at the weekend. Maybe it will cool down next week. I don’t mind warmth, but when it’s over 25 celsius, it’s hell. At least it’s not about 50 like it is in Canada. I would feel like dying if it was like that over here. I wish I could hibernate until the heatwave is over. I wish you could control the weather. I just have to pull through. It can’t last forever. Days like this, I miss being cold.
I wouldn’t say I’m off from the blogging break. It’s only this post, but the next time can be any day. In other news. I will finally be doing the driving test on July 15. I will have a driving lesson before that on the same day. I hope I will pass on the first try. I’ve been watching videos and stuff. The driving lessons are pretty expensive, so I hope I don’t need to do them again. I started in February, so it would nice to finish driving school soon.
My life seems to go around like a carousel—a slow one. At least when it comes to jobs. My birthday was on Wednesday. I only got three congrats on Facebook. But it’s no big deal. I only turned 44. Birthdays are no big deal for me anyway. Unfortunately, age seems to be an issue for some people. I say to those people, talk to the hand. Age is a state of mind.
I have things to do that keeps me occupied, so I don’t have time to think that my life is going around like a carousel. I have that driving lesson thing and the UX/UI design thing. The summer weather is also here, so who has the time to look for a career. I won’t find one either. You can have all the educations in the world, but that doesn’t mean you will find a job. No matter what people claim. You need to have job experiences and a college degree, which I don’t have. Then LinkedIn suggests jobs that I’m certainly not suitable for. Like marketing. I’m not any good at that. Why should I waste time on writing applications to places I won’t get anyway? Am I not taking someone else’s job, someone who has studied the subject? I don’t believe in applying for jobs that I don’t have an education for. They said you should apply for any job, but that’s a waste of time for the applicant and the one who reads the applications. I just become something where there are jobs. I need experience from the occupations I have studied and not experiences from working. I know the rules of working in general.
At the moment I want to concentrate on the current things. Taking baby steps is better than trying to hurry. I don’t mind being in the current carousel of life. Sometimes I wish there could be more, but that feeling is just passing.
I’m old enough to know what I value in friendships. I haven’t been that lucky with that. From my past experiences, I’ve learned what I don’t like in a friend. I’ve written about friendships before on this blog. You can find a few links about it at the end of this post. I have a few precedents of it, so I know what I’m talking about.
The most important thing is honesty. A person who pretends to be my friend and then find someone else has no place in my life. I had a friend in school like that. There were days when she chose that other girl to spend her time with. I was just a substitute when she had a disagreement with the other one. With honesty, I don’t mean you should judge someone by the way they dress or something like that. Honesty is telling you they have another friend and not pretending they want to be your friend. I rather be told they don’t want to spend time with me than being ignored. It hurts more than honest words. If someone doesn’t want to be my friend, they shouldn’t pretend to be so. Fake friends are easy to find. It’s the honest ones you have to search for with cats and dogs. If you had bad experiences of friendships, it’s no wonder you don’t want to get close to anyone or let people in your life.
I value respect in a friend. Someone who accepts you for who you are. A true friend doesn’t tell others how to dress or trying to look a certain way. Friends should respect others opinions and don’t start a fight over something they don’t agree with. We can’t always agree, but you shouldn’t stop being a friend because they don’t agree with you. They shouldn’t talk crap behind your back. A true friend doesn’t makeup rumours. I don’t know if my so-called friends made up some rumour, and frankly, I don’t care. They had no respect for me because if they did, they wouldn’t have ignored me. A friend who spreads rumours is no friend. Maybe their own life is so empty, so they have to make up things. Respect is also about supporting a friend in their life choices. If it’s about careers or relationships. A friend doesn’t put you down and saying you’re doing it wrong or you don’t have what it takes. Being supportive is true friendship.
Trustworthiness is important in any relationship. If you can’t trust a friend, you can’t really be a real friend. I don’t remember if I ever told anyone a secret, but that’s not the only way to lose trust in a person. If a friend pretends to be a friend but still doesn’t have any respect for you, you can’t confide in that person with anything. The risk can be that the person tells the other friend what you have told your friend. So you keep things to yourself instead. Once you lose trust in a person, it’s difficult to get it back. Sometimes it’s lost for good. It’s better to find new friends than trying to get the trust back. I’m happy I didn’t need to have these people in my life. I went to a Finnish Swedish school, and when I got a Finnish only school, I didn’t see the old classmates anymore. I haven’t had any problems like this in my adult life. I’m just more careful when it comes to friendships.
I don’t deny my past experiences haven’t affected my life because they have. It hasn’t made me weaker, though. Actually, it’s the opposite. The problem is not about trusting people. It’s about finding someone who has the same interests. Or at least have something in common with. I haven’t found anyone like that in real life. They always seem to be on a different wavelength than me. A true friend is someone you can confide in. They don’t judge you, and you can say anything to them without having to worry; they don’t want to continue the friendship. When I meet new people, I always have to think before speaking so I don’t say too much. I wish I wouldn’t need to worry about that. Since I never had a friend who stands by me no matter what happens, I don’t really know what that’s like. Maybe I find that kind of friendship when I’m really old. Friendships don’t see age. In life, you never know. A friend can appear from anywhere. In this case, patience is a virtue.