What I hate the most about people are the fake ones. Those who pretend to be your friend but as soon as you have problems, they leave. I never really had true friends. I had classmates I got along with but I never had a best friend who I could talk anything about. I had this friend in kindergarten and 1st year in school but then she moved to another city with her family. She could be my best friend. I was a bit upset she had to move so when she called, I didn’t want to talk to her. I doubt we would be friends now. She probably already have a family etc. so we wouldn’t have nothing in common. I don’t know why people don’t want to get to know me in real life. I’m authentic and don’t want to hurt anyone on purpose. I might be alone but I’m not lonely. There is a difference. If I suffered from it, things would be different.
I don’t want to pretend something I’m not. I’m not an actress who plays a role. A lot of people post selfies of themselves for example but I don’t want to be like everyone else. I’m not gonna become extroverted because that’s what the society wants. Introversion shouldn’t be something embarrassing. We could spread awareness because there is too much negativity about it. Everybody can’t be talkative. It’s a shame being fake is more important than being authentic. Looking at tips on how to be in job interviews, they insist for you to act like you’re not you. You should be yourself but yet don’t be. The reason I fail in social situations is that I can’t act to be talkative. I shouldn’t need to say so much if I have nothing to say. People just have to accept I give short answers. I’ve never met anyone who’s on the same wavelength as I am so I don’t know how it feels to have a bosom pal. If it doesn’t click, it doesn’t click. I would rather be alone than having fake friends.
What you see it what you get. Being authentic is better than fake. There are too many people who don’t dare to be different because they’re told to be like anyone else. They rather follow the crowd than being judged. If that’s the way you want to live, then so be it. But I don’t want to. I want to be the person I am. Maybe that’s my way to rebel again the world. I’m not a follower but I’m not a leader either. I want to follow my own path. Everyone should have the right to choose their own ways without having to fake it. Not having those people around has made life much easier to live. Life is too short to have fakes around. Authentic people are the best and I’m glad I’ve met people like that in real life too.
Fake people make this life feel like a sewer. Those people who think they’re better than others because they richer or better looking. Those frauds who pretend to like you but then talk crap behind your back. The world is full of creeps. They might not be criminals but they’re still bad. Self-centered people who think they can get away with it. The worse things are the ones you have in your life. You can’t get away from them that easily.
I’ve known that kind of people in school when I was younger. I was lucky to get them out of my surroundings. I never had to see them again. I don’t need to go to some class reunion. I wouldn’t go anyway. Besides, I wouldn’t have anything in common with them. I can’t imagine someone still being friends with a person they went to school with. It must have a very special friendship. I prefer meeting new people. I don’t want to spend time with frauds. Life is too short for that.
I hate lying and hate people who do. I could never make up a story about myself. I don’t want to be a fraud. I prefer telling the truth. I don’t say out my opinions out loud when I’m people I hardly know. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings on purpose so I keep things to myself. Sometimes honesty is not the best policy. I do tell white lies sometimes but who doesn’t. I know how it feels when someone says bad things about you. I don’t get offended easily like I used to. I can’t please everyone and I just take criticism with a pinch of salt. But if someone tries to make me angry on purpose, I would turn into Hulk. Except I don’t turn green and I don’t crash things.
A fraud doesn’t admit they are. For them, it’s a natural thing to lie and trying to be convincing. I know a fraud when I see one. There’s a lot of those in politics. They think they found a solution to a problem but they haven’t really. No one should promise something they can’t keep. Frauds should stand up and admit they’re one. It’s better, to be honest than being fake.
I can spot a fake person a mile away. It’s a bit exaggerated but close. I think you learn to see the fake ones, the more experience you get from them. First you see them as a possible friend but discover later that they’re just pretending to like you. They can already be your friend but still stab you in the back.
I had friends like that. I had a friend in elementary school who I spent my time in and out of it. We used to go buy candy after school. I didn’t know at the time that I was the one who had to pay for it. My mother told me later that she’s just used me for that. Luckily our class spirit was high so I had other friends. I was still friend’s with her but I saw her differently when she said something about me to another class mate who was nice enough to tell me what she had said. This person who I thought were my friend, the person who was the only one who attended one of my birthday parties when the others couldn’t make it (the curse of being born in the beginning of summer vacation I might add 😉 ), talks shit behind my back. I got to know about it through another friend which is better than not hearing at all. Which comes to the next fake person.
I flunked 4th grade so I had to leave my old class behind. It was a shame since in this new class things weren’t as good. The first year went OK but when the 5th grade came, it was hell after that. There was this girl who I went to the same daycare center with when we were kids. We became friends. I don’t know what happened but her other friend who were this who turned the others against me. My “friend” chose who to be friends with. One day she wanted to spend time with me and the next with the other. When she had a fight with her other friend, suddenly I was good enough to be her friend. One day she wasn’t my friend at all. This Miss Petty was more important. Speaking of fake. She probably thought she was so perfect. She couldn’t even sit at the same table in the cafeteria because she couldn’t stand my bad skin. This former friend told me about it. Well, I’m sorry for being a teenager. I was one year older than them anyway.
Once in gym class I accidentally smiled and this friend said to me “Don’t laugh at my friend” In this annoyed voice. I wasn’t laughing at her friend at all. It was just so immature of her by reacting like that. It was really childish when I thought about it years later. She was the most fake friend I ever had.
This experience did have some effect on me. I lost my trust in people and found it difficult to find new one’s. I learned to be alone. I didn’t need friends because what’s the point if they really don’t want to know you. I recognised they were fake. They pretended to be friendly but they just wanted to mock me.
One good example were when I went to business school. My class was full of fakes. One asked me if I had a driver’s licence and looked at me like I was retarded. Why were they asking if I had? One invited me to they’re drinking party. For mocking that’s for sure. It was probably because I was quiet. They didn’t even bother getting to know me. I happened to say something in class once and they gave me “Wow, she can talk”- look. Well duh. I might not say much but I’m not mute.
What I remember most of my time in this school was this guy who asked me if I’ve been in a horror movie. At the time I didn’t quite understand what he meant. “How come?” I said. “No special reason” was his reply. Only when I started to remember years later about this I realised, he meant I was ugly. If it had happened now I would had said something. “Well have you looked yourself in the mirror lately?” Or “yes I have” and would have said “Boo” in his face. He wasn’t good-looking either so maybe he’s been in one. I was only there about a year and then I gave up. One of the reasons was these narrow-minded class mates.
I’m much stronger person because of these bad experiences. I would never let people treat me that way again. I’m so used to be alone so friends only feel like a hindrance. If I take part in events or studying, I never even try to become friends with others. I rather meet people, talk to them possibly but that’s about it. I don’t want to get stuck in a rut. I’m my best friend. I know everything about me and trust myself. Maybe I’m lying to myself that I can be happy alone but at least I don’t get hurt my other people’s lies. Some might think this kind of approach is not healthy but it works for me. It does have it disadvantages though. I’ll probably become one of those old ladies with cats. Minus the cats obviously. I’ve accepted my destiny, to be alone without friends as depressive as it’s sounds. Alone, not lonely. See the difference. There are a lot of people out there who are nice and who are not fake. Those are the people who matters. But I’m just too lazy to find them. As long as internet works I’m never alone. There are fakes there too but I know one when I see one.