Open up to you and I don’t even feel lonely

open wood box
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

There is a new prompt challenge out there called Discover Prompts and it started yesterday. Today the word is open. But I also take part in Ragtag Daily Prompt. So I open up to you and I don’t even feel lonely. There won’t be any big secrets or anything like that. The break from work is now until May 13 so I have a lot of time on my hands. I still get paid which is good. I was only 2 weeks at the job until this coronavirus thing happened. I rather stay home then go to a job where there is nothing to do. And staying healthy is the most important thing. Here we don’t need to stay home but I stay home anyway so there is no difference. I’m open to doing anything I want. I never go anywhere anyway. The store is the only place I go to. I don’t understand why people don’t want to stay home. Is there something there they don’t want to see or what? People have no imagination so they ‘complain’ they have nothing to do. I’ve got plenty to do. There is nothing wrong being bored anyway.

This is a good time to watch old TV shows on Youtube. At the moments I’m watching ‘Matlock‘ The only problem is that there isn’t the last episode of each season. That is a shame. It’s a murder mystery show with Andy Griffith as Ben Matlock. The show is usually about 45 minutes long and sometimes there are two parts. I love a good mystery murder shows. I hope I could find ‘Murder, She, Wrote’ but I guess that’s quite difficult. I don’t think I could write a murder mystery. You need a brain for that. A brain that can work with stuff like that. It’s easier for me to write about romance without many deep details. Writer’s who can write about murder and the dark side of human behaviour really are geniuses. I really admire writers like Agatha Christie and authors like that. If I wasn’t lazy I would read books like that but I rather watch a TV show about murders. When I was 7 years old I watched some murder show in secret from my parents and I saw nightmares after that for at least 3 nights. But it hasn’t stopped me from liking movies and TV shows about it. Too much violence is always too much. I don’t like Tarantino’s movies, for example. Except ‘Jackie Brown’ There isn’t much violence like in his other movies.

The time that is now it’s good to think about other things than just what is going on in the world. People should learn to relax and this is the time to do so. I opened up what I’m doing now and I don’t feel lonely. I’m alone but never lonely. I don’t know have time to feel that. There are many other things to do. You just have to use your imagination. Now it’s time to open that book or whatever you fancy.

Don’t call me fastidious

cracked concrete wall
Made in Canva

People might see me as fastidious because it takes time for me to decide. But don’t call me that because I’m not. The only time I can be fastidious is about food or if a painting on the wall is crooked. Other times I’m not. Some people rush to things and they settle for what they’ve got. I don’t go for the second-best. I don’t become friends with someone just to have someone to rely on. I have to have something in common with this person. The same goes for the opposite sex. I think it’s the men that are fastidious because they mostly go for pretty people. Because I’m not typical-looking they don’t even look my way. I’ll rather be alone than be ridiculed because I don’t look a certain way. “Well, you should be like this and look like this to get a date” Sorry to disappoint but I change for no one and I won’t join that fancy dress party no matter how hard I try. Besides, you can’t change a person for what they are. Being independent is much more fun anyway.

I’m not particularly fastidious when it comes to writing fiction either. I’m not that much into detail. Writing what a character is wearing is especially difficult. I prefer the story to small details. I let the reader imagine what they’re wearing. Since I only write for fun I don’t find things like that very important. It would probably be different if I was an author where things like that probably are crucial. I also don’t know how to describe a character’s appearance. I see the word ‘chiselled’ a lot in stories but I have no idea what that looks like. The detail on someone’s face is also hard so I don’t write that kind of stuff. Hair colour and such are easy but that as far as it goes. I write about real people so those who read my fiction know how the characters look like in real life. Stories are made-up.

Some people are fastidious when they watch movies. They find even the smallest mistake. I just want to enjoy a movie and not take it so seriously. Even with movies I’ve seen many times before. I watch movies for the stories and not if someone shirt has changed to some other colour. Making movies is like life, nothing is perfect. It’s supposed to be entertainment and not looking for flaws. I guess these people look at people the same way they search for mistakes in movies. Or they got too much time on their hands can be another option. Trying to find mistakes in movies takes out all the fun of this form of enjoyment.

So don’t call me fastidious because there are people worse than me. Sometimes being fastidious in certain things is not a bad thing though. I can be like that sometimes but that’s not what I should be called. I know my likes and my dislikes so that doesn’t mean it’s fastidious. I just have limited tolerance for nonsense and that should be enough to describe it.

Falling in love is hard on the mind

heart on sand
Made in Canva

I’ve never actually been in love with a person and I don’t believe in love at first sight. Except for that one time but it wasn’t falling in love. It was more about liking someone at first sight. But falling in love is hard on the mind despite that. You can fall in love with other things. I, for example, fell in love with music at a young age. It started with music for children. I also learned to play different instruments in school. Like acoustic guitar and drums. I also own a few instruments. I could almost form a band. I have a fipple flute, electronic keyboard, triangle instrument and a harmonica. The last two I can play by ear but no songs that really exists. I’ve learned some easy music notes and some songs I learned by heart. But those aren’t any hits or anything. Only short songs that are easy to learn. I can play some Christmas songs like ‘Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer’ I used to perform at home on Christmas Eve when I was a child. A few times with my electronic keyboard and a few times on my flute. I wouldn’t perform on stage or any of that. I would probably be too nervous and forget how to play songs.

I’ve fallen in love with movies. I saw my first movie when I was 3 years old. I always stay in the end because I’ve bought a ticket and I don’t want it to go to waste. It’s not everyday I can go and see movies. The tickets cost too much these days. I really admire actors and actresses. It’s amazing how brave they are and they can play different characters. I could never do that job. Especially love scenes or nude scenes. I wouldn’t even take up roles like that. I prefer being a moviegoer. Some movies franchises I haven’t cared about but later I’ve fallen in love with them. One of them is Star Wars. I’m actually as old as the first movie. I didn’t care about them before but now I love them. Like any franchise, they come to an end. ‘The Rise of Skywalker’ is the last one and then it’s all over. But the movies live forever. People have their opinions about them but I’m not that fussy. It’s entertainment and that’s what movies is all about. Some people just take these franchises too seriously.

Then there are movies you fall in love instantly and you keep watching them over and over again. Lord of the rings is one of them. I don’t know how many times I’ve seen those. Extended versions and the commentary ones. That’s how dedicated I am. The same with The Hobbit. I don’t know what some people complain about them. Love them and I don’t care what others think. We all have different tastes and it’s a waste of energy to have a disagreement about. There are movies I don’t like that seems to be popular. Like “The fight club” I don’t like it at all. If someone does it’s alright. Who am I to judge other people’s tastes. Falling in love is hard on the mind when you hear negative comments on your favourite things but you just have to agree to disagree.

Going back to falling in love with a person. You can’t really fall in love with a person you don’t really know. I’ve never known anyone that long that I could fall in love with. I’ve felt like I was in love but it’s just the feeling. It’s hard liking someone so much who doesn’t even know you exist. There are people who I could fall in love with if I really knew them. Maybe my fantasy about them is unrealistic. They seem to be someone you could imagine to be with but maybe they wouldn’t feel the same about me. Or perhaps they’re nothing like they appear to be. It’s just cover to the public and in their personal life, they’re totally different. People have met them and they were really nice. But that’s just a fan meeting and they’re not interested in their fans romantically and the feeling is mutual. In the end, it doesn’t matter because you live in another country and you probably never meet anyway. That’s why falling in love is hard on the mind when it’s with a person you don’t know in real life. It saddens you so you try to think about something else. You can only hope that feeling goes away because it usually does. It can take years but it will go away one day. You need to concentrate on your own life and what’s close to you. Besides, being in love for real isn’t easy either but how would I know. I’ve never been in love with a person. I can love people but I’m not in love with them. There is a difference.