Don’t call me fastidious

cracked concrete wall
Made in Canva

People might see me as fastidious because it takes time for me to decide. But don’t call me that because I’m not. The only time I can be fastidious is about food or if a painting on the wall is crooked. Other times I’m not. Some people rush to things and they settle for what they’ve got. I don’t go for the second-best. I don’t become friends with someone just to have someone to rely on. I have to have something in common with this person. The same goes for the opposite sex. I think it’s the men that are fastidious because they mostly go for pretty people. Because I’m not typical-looking they don’t even look my way. I’ll rather be alone than be ridiculed because I don’t look a certain way. “Well, you should be like this and look like this to get a date” Sorry to disappoint but I change for no one and I won’t join that fancy dress party no matter how hard I try. Besides, you can’t change a person for what they are. Being independent is much more fun anyway.

I’m not particularly fastidious when it comes to writing fiction either. I’m not that much into detail. Writing what a character is wearing is especially difficult. I prefer the story to small details. I let the reader imagine what they’re wearing. Since I only write for fun I don’t find things like that very important. It would probably be different if I was an author where things like that probably are crucial. I also don’t know how to describe a character’s appearance. I see the word ‘chiselled’ a lot in stories but I have no idea what that looks like. The detail on someone’s face is also hard so I don’t write that kind of stuff. Hair colour and such are easy but that as far as it goes. I write about real people so those who read my fiction know how the characters look like in real life. Stories are made-up.

Some people are fastidious when they watch movies. They find even the smallest mistake. I just want to enjoy a movie and not take it so seriously. Even with movies I’ve seen many times before. I watch movies for the stories and not if someone shirt has changed to some other colour. Making movies is like life, nothing is perfect. It’s supposed to be entertainment and not looking for flaws. I guess these people look at people the same way they search for mistakes in movies. Or they got too much time on their hands can be another option. Trying to find mistakes in movies takes out all the fun of this form of enjoyment.

So don’t call me fastidious because there are people worse than me. Sometimes being fastidious in certain things is not a bad thing though. I can be like that sometimes but that’s not what I should be called. I know my likes and my dislikes so that doesn’t mean it’s fastidious. I just have limited tolerance for nonsense and that should be enough to describe it.

Falling in love is hard on the mind

heart on sand
Made in Canva

I’ve never actually been in love with a person and I don’t believe in love at first sight. Except for that one time but it wasn’t falling in love. It was more about liking someone at first sight. But falling in love is hard on the mind despite that. You can fall in love with other things. I, for example, fell in love with music at a young age. It started with music for children. I also learned to play different instruments in school. Like acoustic guitar and drums. I also own a few instruments. I could almost form a band. I have a fipple flute, electronic keyboard, triangle instrument and a harmonica. The last two I can play by ear but no songs that really exists. I’ve learned some easy music notes and some songs I learned by heart. But those aren’t any hits or anything. Only short songs that are easy to learn. I can play some Christmas songs like ‘Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer’ I used to perform at home on Christmas Eve when I was a child. A few times with my electronic keyboard and a few times on my flute. I wouldn’t perform on stage or any of that. I would probably be too nervous and forget how to play songs.

I’ve fallen in love with movies. I saw my first movie when I was 3 years old. I always stay in the end because I’ve bought a ticket and I don’t want it to go to waste. It’s not everyday I can go and see movies. The tickets cost too much these days. I really admire actors and actresses. It’s amazing how brave they are and they can play different characters. I could never do that job. Especially love scenes or nude scenes. I wouldn’t even take up roles like that. I prefer being a moviegoer. Some movies franchises I haven’t cared about but later I’ve fallen in love with them. One of them is Star Wars. I’m actually as old as the first movie. I didn’t care about them before but now I love them. Like any franchise, they come to an end. ‘The Rise of Skywalker’ is the last one and then it’s all over. But the movies live forever. People have their opinions about them but I’m not that fussy. It’s entertainment and that’s what movies is all about. Some people just take these franchises too seriously.

Then there are movies you fall in love instantly and you keep watching them over and over again. Lord of the rings is one of them. I don’t know how many times I’ve seen those. Extended versions and the commentary ones. That’s how dedicated I am. The same with The Hobbit. I don’t know what some people complain about them. Love them and I don’t care what others think. We all have different tastes and it’s a waste of energy to have a disagreement about. There are movies I don’t like that seems to be popular. Like “The fight club” I don’t like it at all. If someone does it’s alright. Who am I to judge other people’s tastes. Falling in love is hard on the mind when you hear negative comments on your favourite things but you just have to agree to disagree.

Going back to falling in love with a person. You can’t really fall in love with a person you don’t really know. I’ve never known anyone that long that I could fall in love with. I’ve felt like I was in love but it’s just the feeling. It’s hard liking someone so much who doesn’t even know you exist. There are people who I could fall in love with if I really knew them. Maybe my fantasy about them is unrealistic. They seem to be someone you could imagine to be with but maybe they wouldn’t feel the same about me. Or perhaps they’re nothing like they appear to be. It’s just cover to the public and in their personal life, they’re totally different. People have met them and they were really nice. But that’s just a fan meeting and they’re not interested in their fans romantically and the feeling is mutual. In the end, it doesn’t matter because you live in another country and you probably never meet anyway. That’s why falling in love is hard on the mind when it’s with a person you don’t know in real life. It saddens you so you try to think about something else. You can only hope that feeling goes away because it usually does. It can take years but it will go away one day. You need to concentrate on your own life and what’s close to you. Besides, being in love for real isn’t easy either but how would I know. I’ve never been in love with a person. I can love people but I’m not in love with them. There is a difference.

At the libary for once

old library entre
The entry to the library in my town. It was founded in the 1860s

I haven’t been to the library in recent years. I’ve been there but I haven’t got a library card for ages. Not until last week that is. I don’t read books that much but these days you can borrow almost anything from a library. You don’t even need to look for the books in person. You can do that online and let others find them for you. All you need is to pick them up. Of course, when you find it yourself you get the touch and see the book. Or whatever you borrow. When I was a kid I used to go to the library more often. Today I’m just lazy to go. We’ll see how things will go now when I have a library card again.

I do read books from time to time but it’s books about real life rather than fiction. I prefer borrowing books more than buying them. I would never even have time to read all those books. I haven’t even watched some of my DVD’s or Blu-rays. I could soon almost own my own library at home with all the CDs and other discs I have. I wouldn’t have a library with books. It would be about movies, TV shows and music. They say reading books is good for you but my patience is too short. I’ve tried to read ‘Lord of the rings’ a couple of times and I still haven’t finished it. It’s so much easier to watch the movie. I really admire people who read books because I’m bad at it. I’m easily distracted. The last book I read was ‘The Hobbit” I’ve already read it twice. Short books like that are easier to read. I don’t really know why I’m not into fiction books because I used to read them when I was younger. I’ve read biographies or books about photography. That kind of books keeps my interests up. Other times I do something else besides reading books.

I’m more into writing than reading. You can still develop your imagination without reading books. You read all the time. If it’s the news or insights of other people. I’ve seen a lot of movies and I also studied screenplay writing so that way I’ve also practised my imagination. I don’t understand some people complaining about movie adaptions. Like when Lord of the rings movies was out. “It’s not in the books. It’s not in the books” complains. Of course not. The movie is the imagination of the writers and the director. You can’t put everything in a movie. If it’s straight from a book, the movies will take forever. Any books. Making movies also cost money and it take times to do them as well. When you read a book, it’s from your imagination. But when it’s made into a movie, it’s someone else imagination. Of course, you can’t please everyone. If you prefer reading books to watching movies then it’s your choice.

Next time when I go to the library I will try to find a novel that I’m actually gonna finish. I’m not into books with a small font because that’s something I know I’ll never read to the end. It doesn’t matter how good it might be. Books with a small print stay in the library. What’s the point with a library card if you don’t use it, heh? So I will try to make a habit of it.