Have a little patience, yeah

hourglass patience text
Made in Canva. Lyric from “Patience” by Take That

First, some good news. I passed the driving theory test yesterday. After Easter, I’ll get in touch with the teacher to schedule the driving lessons. There are 4 hours of it, and one part is in a simulator. I haven’t driven a car in 26 years, so I think I start with that one. I’m a bit nervous about that because I’ve never been in one. Maybe driving a real car can be the same. When those are done. Then the only one left is the driving test. I hope I’ll pass that the first try, but I doubt it. If I’m lucky, I will have a drivers license before my birthday in June. What a great birthday present that would be. If you have a little patience, things will follow. I wish I had it in other things too. Patience that is.

Since I was a child, I’ve been a bit impatient. It’s not. Get me things at this right moment. It’s more about giving up too easily. I wasn’t the best student in school. I had issues with certain subjects. Math was one of them. I had tutoring lessons in it. If you’re not good at something, you don’t like doing it. They say you can learn to become better at Math, but I’m not that excited to learn. You must like it to have enough motivation. I rather learn something else instead. As long as you know the basics and understand the value of money, you don’t need to learn all these Y plus X things. Unless you want to become a scientist or something like that. I never understood why you should learn other than how to count this plus this. The same with calculating things in your head. That’s what calculators are for. Math is like coding; I hate both of them. I make many mistakes, and then I just want to give up because things are too difficult.

I don’t know why I bother, but I’ve yet again applied for education. This time for an education called Code Academy. They teach you, that’s right, coding. I probably won’t get in. It’s a recruitment training program. There is a job-learning part where you can work for a company, either a workplace they find or a place the student can find. Only if someone wants the student to work for them, then you get chosen for the education. The problem with education is that you get your hopes up and search for information about the occupation. Then you won’t get chosen anyway. Even if you do get in, you still won’t find a job. So what is the point with educating yourself, besides learning something new? You get no job experience in your field no matter how much you study. It’s silly to start a new career when you haven’t even got anything from your current one. I want to do so many things, and most of them are connected somehow. I always studied creative things, so changing the path to another direction is needless. If it’s neither writing a job application or applying to a school, I’m never good at explaining in words about me and why I want things. I won’t expect too much about this education I applied to. The same with the job application for an IT support person. I don’t know enough of the technical stuff when it comes to computers. I’m not a a novice, but I’m no expert either. In coding things are different. I have studied it and used it too, but it doesn’t mean they will pick me for the education.

I don’t make goals at a certain time. For example, with the driving school. I can only hope I get the license before summer, but I won’t promise the exact date. It depends on so many things. I don’t know when I will get a driving lesson. The teacher said when she called last week that their schedule will become busy after two weeks. Then there is the driving test. The driving school is far from over. I have enough patience to get the licence in my own time. At least I’m closer to achieve it.

Music for my ears

pastel colour earphones on pastel background
Photo by Moose Photos on Pexels.com

Music makes my life worth living. It also weakens other noises around you. Like the next-door-neighbour talking or just making other noises. Every other noise other than music disturbs me. I keep the radio on while I sleep, but if I hear talking before I do, it annoys me. I listen to music every day, so you can say it’s my life. I have Spotify Premium, so I can listen to it without ads. Those are annoying. It cost 10.99 euros per month, but that’s better than nothing. I can listen to songs that aren’t played on the radio. All those nostalgic music tunes. Love it.

I still buy CD’s from time to time, because I like the covers and the leaflets that go with them. Without music, movies and TV series wouldn’t be the same. Imagine them without sound. I can’t even. I usually don’t listen to classical music, but when it comes to drama, then it’s the best. My favourite music is 1980s music. We have a radio station that only plays 80s music. Sometimes they play too much of the same though, which can be a bit annoying. They have spoiled a few songs that I used to love, but now I don’t. One of them is ‘Living on a Prayer’ by Bon Jovi. Maybe the radio station doesn’t have the right to play anything else. They do play others song by them too, but especially that song. When I was 18, I went to drivers school and thought I would have a car, so I could blast my favourite songs. But I didn’t finish it. Now when I’m in driving school again and when I get the licence, I probably won’t play music that loud. At least not so everyone else can hear. I hate it when young people drive, and noise is blasting out of their cars. It’s not music, only annoying noise. There are differences between noise and music, you know.

I hardly listen to music outside with headphones, because then you won’t hear the birds singing. You see people with headphones on while they walk or cycle, and they don’t hear or see anything. It can be dangerous to walk like that in traffic. People walk around holding their phones in their hand, and even young kids do that. First of all, it looks silly and secondly you can get hit by a car if you only concentrate on your phone. They usually listen to music, and they don’t stop when they change the music. If I look at my mobile, I stop walking and then put it away. Mobile can’t be that important, so you want to risk your life for it. If you have a death wish, then just go ahead. Music is my life, but I don’t want to jeopardize my health with it. Not forgetting losing my hearing. It’s still good because I haven’t spoilt it in my youth by listening to music too loud. My hearing is so good. I can hear things that aren’t there. Even in a middle of a conversation, I can hear noises in the background. I don’t know if it’s because my hearing is so good or that I’m an introvert.

Music has been part of my life since I was a child. Listening to it and playing instruments. Not good enough to perform with one, but still playing for fun. I’ve tried a lot if different once, but there is one that I really would love to try. That is playing the violin. The only string instrument I have tried is the acoustic guitar, and that was difficult. So the violin must be even harder to learn to play. Maybe one day, I get to try one. Listening to music is more my thing, and I can’t live without it.

Only human after all

human eye
Photo by Ruslan Alekso on Pexels.com

“I’m only human, flesh and blood; I’m made”

That’s what Human League sings in the song “Human”. It’s an 80s band if you didn’t know. I’m not a robot who can’t show emotions. Right now, I’m upset. Nothing works. I can’t play Angry Birds on Facebook. Grammarly doesn’t check my spelling on this post. But then it does it again. I can’t stand it when things don’t work. I should take a deep breath and calm down, but still, I don’t. I can’t help being emotional. Sometimes I just want to scream. And maybe cry. There are so many things that irritate me, and most of those are other people. Especially stupid people. Those who with no common sense. Were they dropped on the head as a child? Or maybe their parents were just dumb. Stupid people get stupid kids. It must be difficult to be stupid. Then again, some are so stupid, they don’t know they are. The world is full of them and other idiots too. As long as you don’t sink to their level. There are smart people in the world too. Stupidity comes in many forms. People who think they’re clever are actually stupid.

It has been proved during the Covid. Some people think the whole pandemic doesn’t even exist. So people just get it, and some die just for fun? They probably believe in conspiracy theories. JFK wasn’t murdered. Man didn’t walk on the moon. And those kinds of things. They act like spoilt brats. They don’t want to wear a mask. They don’t want to keep their distance. They want to live the way they always had. They have become somewhat obsolete. A shame it’s mostly young people. How selfish can someone be anyway? I hate people who only think about what is good for them. How can someone be so in love with parties, and being with friends, not caring at all? The attitude toward this disease is still arrogant. Do they think this vaccine will make it all go away? If we don’t all work together, Covid will be here for years. Should we need to tide young people to their beds or what? Covid is such a nice thing to have. Let’s not care at all. If we just close our eyes and wish it will disappear. So what if old people die? They gonna die anyway. If you live in denial and selfish like that, it will come back and bite you. Karma is a bitch. In Finland, we don’t have a curfew, but maybe soon we will. I think only young people should have it. They are the ones spreading the disease with their stupid parties and gatherings. Decent people shouldn’t need to suffer because certain people don’t care about anything else besides themselves. Sometimes I’m ashamed of humankind. Its unbelievable people like this are alive.

Yet again, I’m wasting my time on this. No one cares if I post this on Twitter. No likes my latest photos on Instagram again, so I have to like my own posts. Why do I bother anyway? It’s not a question; it’s an observation. They should have an edit button on both Twitter and Instagram. Whatever, hashtags don’t help. I still get nada likes. At least I get likes on WordPress from time to time. So bored with social media. I also put LinkedIn on private, so at least I can keep up with things I’ve studied and work. I’m not surprised people get depressed. Using social media makes you feel even more lonely. The best cure is to write your thoughts down or try to find someone to talk to. Sleeping helps, too, if you’re feeling down. Deep depression is a different thing, which I don’t have. Hang on there. It can’t last forever. Enjoying the small things because big things are harder to digest. Best of luck to you all.