Tag: school

The shape of two career plans

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plan, action notebook
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What is your career plan?

Daily Writing Prompt

I’ve been to a career coach in the past, but my plans haven’t taken shape. First, I didn’t know what I wanted to do, and second, I hadn’t had the chance to get enough work experience. Some people travel to places to find themselves, but I haven’t needed to go anywhere to do that. It hasn’t been about finding myself. It’s more about what I wanted to do in life. I haven’t had a career plan to follow. It’s been about choosing an occupation. It took years, but now I know what I want to do. Graphic designer and photographer.

The shape of two career plans is better than one. The first was to get a job to gain more experience and become an entrepreneur after that. But guess what? Did these plans become true? No, they did not. I haven’t gained more experience, and I don’t know if having a business is something for me. Sure, I went to an entrepreneurial course last month. But that doesn’t mean I’m ready for it. Not with the experience I have at the moment. Sometimes, I think I’m in the wrong occupation after all. But I don’t know what else I want to do. Do I remember how to do things anymore since it was a long time ago since I did anything? I applied for a graphic design job but won’t get an interview because I lack experience. They probably don’t even look at my resume because it’s awful. Maybe it’s the same when it comes to finding clients. No one wants the services I provide. I have enough school experience, but that doesn’t mean much.

I don’t know where my life is going, but I know I want to earn my own money. Being unemployed involves too much bureaucracy; honestly, I’m getting tired of it. If no one wants to hire me, maybe having my own business is better. Then, I no longer need to be in the job search race. When I plan something, it usually doesn’t come true anyway, so I will see how it goes. I’ve been thinking the goal is to begin after summer. In Finland, summer vacation is in July, so everyone isn’t working. Maybe Autumn will be a better time to start something new. Or it might not come true, and my life won’t improve.

A little puddle of pride

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puddle of water
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I haven’t written about this, but today (April 18) was the last day of my entrepreneurial studies. It took 20 days. I took one course like it in 2018, but I wanted an update. Not much has changed, and I knew about having a business before since my father had one for 30 years. I’ve also studied it alone. I enjoy the small things in life, so I have a little puddle of pride in finishing the course. It might not be significant for others, but you can still feel pride nonetheless.

I don’t know why I keep postponing entrepreneurship. During the course, I felt maybe I’m still not ready for it. I don’t have much job experience in graphic design. Many of my classmates in the course were confident they would have their own businesses. But I’m still torn between whether I should or shouldn’t. I applied for a graphic design job but won’t get an interview because I lack experience. The same would probably be true if I were an entrepreneur. My biggest concern is not finding clients. Then, it’s the financial side of it all. I’ve used to get money in my bank account every month. I don’t have enough confidence to find clients; if you don’t have any, you can’t pay your bills. Registering your company is the easy part. What comes to having a business is a different matter. If I had a better portfolio, things would be easier.

That little puddle of pride takes a bump in the confidence department. But I have to believe in myself and find a way to overcome the uncertainty. If I don’t become an entrepreneur, I might regret it later on. I only need to find the right time to start.

Dancer in the dark

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dancer in the dark
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My late mother loved to dance, and her aunt was a professional dancer. My late father met my mother at a dance. But me, no, I’m the one who only dances in the dark and alone. I like watching other people dance, though. I watched the Finnish version of Dancing with the Stars, which my mother also watched. I feel my feet don’t cooperate with my brain. I hated discos in school. Dancing was too embarrassing. Other people watching me feel awkward. Maybe they wouldn’t care how I dance, but I don’t want to do it in public.

We had ballroom dancing in one class in school, but even then, I didn’t dance. It isn’t my thing. It’s good exercise, but I don’t care. It isn’t my kind of fun. I once applied to dance education, but luckily, it got cancelled. I don’t know why I applied. It was one of the first education I did after compulsory school, so I had to apply for something. I couldn’t imagine being a dancer. I’m too clumsy for that. I admire people who are great dancers. People who can dance like Michael Jackson are amazing. Especially young kids. For me, it’s easier to dance in my head than for real.

I will remain the dancer in the dark, and there I should stay. I leave the dance to those who like it and can do it right. I will remain to be the viewer.