The shape of two career plans

plan, action notebook
Photo by Ahmed u30c4 on Pexels.com

What is your career plan?

Daily Writing Prompt

I’ve been to a career coach in the past, but my plans haven’t taken shape. First, I didn’t know what I wanted to do, and second, I hadn’t had the chance to get enough work experience. Some people travel to places to find themselves, but I haven’t needed to go anywhere to do that. It hasn’t been about finding myself. It’s more about what I wanted to do in life. I haven’t had a career plan to follow. It’s been about choosing an occupation. It took years, but now I know what I want to do. Graphic designer and photographer.

The shape of two career plans is better than one. The first was to get a job to gain more experience and become an entrepreneur after that. But guess what? Did these plans become true? No, they did not. I haven’t gained more experience, and I don’t know if having a business is something for me. Sure, I went to an entrepreneurial course last month. But that doesn’t mean I’m ready for it. Not with the experience I have at the moment. Sometimes, I think I’m in the wrong occupation after all. But I don’t know what else I want to do. Do I remember how to do things anymore since it was a long time ago since I did anything? I applied for a graphic design job but won’t get an interview because I lack experience. They probably don’t even look at my resume because it’s awful. Maybe it’s the same when it comes to finding clients. No one wants the services I provide. I have enough school experience, but that doesn’t mean much.

I don’t know where my life is going, but I know I want to earn my own money. Being unemployed involves too much bureaucracy; honestly, I’m getting tired of it. If no one wants to hire me, maybe having my own business is better. Then, I no longer need to be in the job search race. When I plan something, it usually doesn’t come true anyway, so I will see how it goes. I’ve been thinking the goal is to begin after summer. In Finland, summer vacation is in July, so everyone isn’t working. Maybe Autumn will be a better time to start something new. Or it might not come true, and my life won’t improve.

A little puddle of pride

puddle of water
Photo: Openverse

I haven’t written about this, but today (April 18) was the last day of my entrepreneurial studies. It took 20 days. I took one course like it in 2018, but I wanted an update. Not much has changed, and I knew about having a business before since my father had one for 30 years. I’ve also studied it alone. I enjoy the small things in life, so I have a little puddle of pride in finishing the course. It might not be significant for others, but you can still feel pride nonetheless.

I don’t know why I keep postponing entrepreneurship. During the course, I felt maybe I’m still not ready for it. I don’t have much job experience in graphic design. Many of my classmates in the course were confident they would have their own businesses. But I’m still torn between whether I should or shouldn’t. I applied for a graphic design job but won’t get an interview because I lack experience. The same would probably be true if I were an entrepreneur. My biggest concern is not finding clients. Then, it’s the financial side of it all. I’ve used to get money in my bank account every month. I don’t have enough confidence to find clients; if you don’t have any, you can’t pay your bills. Registering your company is the easy part. What comes to having a business is a different matter. If I had a better portfolio, things would be easier.

That little puddle of pride takes a bump in the confidence department. But I have to believe in myself and find a way to overcome the uncertainty. If I don’t become an entrepreneur, I might regret it later on. I only need to find the right time to start.

Dancer in the dark

dancer in the dark
Photo by Khoa Vu00f5 on Pexels.com

My late mother loved to dance, and her aunt was a professional dancer. My late father met my mother at a dance. But me, no, I’m the one who only dances in the dark and alone. I like watching other people dance, though. I watched the Finnish version of Dancing with the Stars, which my mother also watched. I feel my feet don’t cooperate with my brain. I hated discos in school. Dancing was too embarrassing. Other people watching me feel awkward. Maybe they wouldn’t care how I dance, but I don’t want to do it in public.

We had ballroom dancing in one class in school, but even then, I didn’t dance. It isn’t my thing. It’s good exercise, but I don’t care. It isn’t my kind of fun. I once applied to dance education, but luckily, it got cancelled. I don’t know why I applied. It was one of the first education I did after compulsory school, so I had to apply for something. I couldn’t imagine being a dancer. I’m too clumsy for that. I admire people who are great dancers. People who can dance like Michael Jackson are amazing. Especially young kids. For me, it’s easier to dance in my head than for real.

I will remain the dancer in the dark, and there I should stay. I leave the dance to those who like it and can do it right. I will remain to be the viewer.