Bloganuary: I wanna be loved by you

rock giving a heart to another smaller rock
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Can you share a positive example of where you’ve felt loved?

Bloganuary 2024

The words, I love you, have never been used in my home. But caring about one another is love, too. You don’t need to say those words. Showing that you care is love, which is more important. If you love me, show me how I say.

I feel love when someone shows they care. My parents have shown me they do. Especially my mother. She was also dedicated to how I did in school and kept in touch with my teachers. She always worried about me. Sometimes, it was a little too much for my liking. Even when she was sick, she still worried about how I would manage. I knew she meant well, even if it sometimes agitated me. Now, there are times I wish she was still alive. I wouldn’t need to meet all the problems that might be ahead with my father. Honestly, I’ve felt a little lost after she passed away. She knew about things my father didn’t, so I could ask her for advice. My father always thought about his work, so my mother was the caretaker. This wasn’t a positive example because it also brought sadness.

If I could hatch again from the eggshell of life, I wish I could have the same family without illnesses and deaths. My big sister was a significant part of my life. It was short, but I felt loved by her. She was excited when I was born. I was only 6 when she died, so I don’t have many memories of her besides the photos and videos of her. Sometimes, I think about how things would be if she were still alive. Losing a family member at an early age changes a person. Thinking about the positive memories makes it feel better.

sisters
Me and my big sister, Nina

The closest people in your life make you feel loved. When the world gets cold, your family is the one to count on. They don’t need to say they love you because those are only words. Showing them how is the key to one’s life.

Jobs to do for day

hustle and bust words etc.
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Daily writing prompt
What’s a job you would like to do for just one day?

Words that came up when I thought about what I wanted to be were; pro photographer. Especially a Formula One photographer. I was a big fan of it for about 13 years. My interests have changed since then. I realised it would take years to become a pro. I didn’t want to wait that long. If there is a job I would like to be for one day, it would be a Formula One photographer. Doing sports photography isn’t easy, though. They are fast and trying to capture it; you must know how to photograph them, and I don’t.

Another job I would like to try for one day is to be on a movie set. I wouldn’t mind what job it would be. I would like to try several ones. It would be nice to follow personal assistant to actors. I wouldn’t want to do the job except if it is to keep the company of an actor or actress. But I don’t think there is a job like that. I study filmmaking, but it won’t get me a career in the movie industry. But it’s an exciting subject, which is why I am learning it.

It would be nice to try to be something I have studied for, but getting job experience in the graphic design field is under a rock. I would do it full-time and not only for a day. I guess I must live in a dream world because reality doesn’t want me to be in it.

Things I don’t fancy

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I’m a picky person. I don’t do things if I don’t feel like it. One of them is cleaning. But this post is not about that. It’s about things I don’t fancy. The second dislike I have besides cleaning is job search. I can understand why some people don’t want to work. It’s trying to find a job that is off-putting. Trying to stand out and know how to promote your skills. Even with a good resume, you need to be a circus person. It’s not only companies that have a brand, but people need to be one too. If I could, I wouldn’t look for work at all. It’s difficult and depressive. You shouldn’t stop trying, but how can you when you get rejected. Job search is so strange these days. As one of the Pet shop boys song “Suburbia” says. ‘I only wanted something else to do but hang around‘ I want to do something with my life and not just be.

What I don’t fancy is trying to find the right words to describe myself in the question, describe myself and what my strengths are. I didn’t even know what to write on this blog’s About me page when I started. I don’t have a way with words. I get frustrated when I can’t find the words so I let it be and do something else instead. Why should you do things you don’t fancy? You can’t force yourself to do anything. If the words won’t come, then they won’t.

What I do fancy right now, is to watch something funny on Disney Plus, so I’m out of here.