My life is like walking around in a ring and there is no way out but I try to think positive it won’t last forever.
Month: October 2018
A herd, an army, call it what you want
Ever felt you don’t belong in a certain group? Everyone seems to belong to a herd of some kind. If it’s hobbies, school or in a workplace. No one seems to have the same interest as you or you study something you’re interested in but still, it feels you don’t belong. You don’t how many times I felt like that. I don’t belong to any herd or army, call it what you want. I’m a loner but still, it would be nice to belong somewhere. Of course, there is always the internet but I’ll never find anything in real life where I could feel I belong. Internet in that sense is the greatest thing in the world. That’s a world I feel most comfortable with. Blogging is one of those things that I feel I’m a part of that herd. It still can a lonely business but that’s something I don’t suffer from. Alone but hardly lonely or how does the saying go.
When I was younger I felt like an outsider and I didn’t like the feeling at all. Now I don’t think about it. I don’t really care. I’m my own person and if you don’t like being by yourself, you’ll never learn how good it feels to be alone once in a while. When I feel I belong in a group, it still feels like I don’t belong. It’s because it’s usually only one thing I have in common with them and the rest is nothing. I’m old enough to know there is no point spending time with people who aren’t at the same wavelength as me. I will rather be alone than feeling bored with people I don’t feel connected to. I can talk to people but it won’t become friendships and I’m totally fine with that. The main thing is that I’ve finished my educations despite that.
I want to walk my own path and I don’t really need a herd. That’s what independence means. Doing things you like and not being forced to be or do something others expect you to. I don’t need a lot of people around me to be happy. That’s the introvert in me. Too much noise and too many people are stressful. In Helsinki Design School last time, I had to take a walk on the break because a lot of people were talking at once. It was a relief to go out and when I came back I felt more relaxed. I will never understand why people want to be in herds when you have to talk loudly to be heard. Pubs and clubs are places I want to avoid. It’s better to follow your own heart than do everything the herd do. If I want to join a herd I think long and hard if I want to follow it or not. But mostly I don’t and that should be absolutely fine for others.
I wanted color but they gave me black
It’s getting darker outside earlier and earlier. But what kind of color are clothes? Black of course. It doesn’t make any sense. When it’s dark outside, your clothes should have color. A lot of people wear dark clothes because that’s what the clothing stores are full of. In a country like Finland, our clothes should be in color this time of year. I tried to find a jacket for Autumn but all I did find was black ones. I wanted color but they gave me black. There was one in yellow but that’s not my color. I had to settle for a black one that I found online. Clothes don’t need to be bright colors but at least something besides black. I like wearing black like most people but I also want to wear something with color. Finns are probably too shy to wear colorful clothes so they dress like everyone else. Especially men. How about wearing blue for a change or any of those decent colors. And I don’t mean that blue you find in jeans. Maybe they should get that dress sense first. Some of the Finnish men seem to never have looked at fashion in their whole life. You don’t have to follow fashion but looking in the mirror once in a while shouldn’t be so hard.
Color makes life less dull. It lifts peoples spirit. There is a lot of color in the trees and fallen leaves on the ground. So there is color above and below. Today I went on a short bike trip and I should have taken my camera with me. I didn’t think I would need it but it was so beautiful so it was a shame I didn’t take it with me. I should go and take photos of nature’s color before all the leaves fall off the trees. We had nice and warm weather and it will continue a few days so it’s much nicer to photograph. There’s always tomorrow. When all the leaves have fallen and the leaves rotten it gets dull again. You should take the opportunity while the beauty lasts because the next day all the colors could be gone. It’s all gonna be black and grey after that because people don’t dress in color when they should. It’s not really nature that makes things look dull in the winter. It’s the people who are afraid to look different from the rest. Or maybe it’s the fashion designers?
Color is not only in clothes and nature, but it can also be in a personality. It doesn’t have to be someone who does wild things. Like doing drugs or party hard. A colorful person can be someone who you never have a dull moment with. They have an opinion they’re not afraid to say out loud. Madonna is a person like that. She’s never been afraid to be different. She has proven many times that a woman can be whatever she wants to. There are many females who have succeeded in a man’s world. Actually, the whole world is colorful. If everyone would look the same and be the same, the world would be dull. Everyone needs color. If you don’t see color with your own eyes, at least have color in your mind. You just have to find it yourself.
In my world 