Another end of a road

misty road
Made in Canva

There are only 2 more meetings left in Helsinki Design School. In about 2 weeks it’s the portfolio presentation. I haven’t even started yet. I don’t even know what to put in it. I don’t feel any of my work is worth showing to other people. Especially one of the latest feedback I got was so disappointing. It was a tourist poster about my city. Apparently, I should have done brainstorming, sketching and all that. But that’s what I did. The teacher didn’t think there was an idea in it. Whatever that means. I think it was. I lived in my city all my life so I should know what it’s famous for. But OK, that’s one opinion about the poster but still it feels all my work was for nothing. It wasn’t easy to do it. Drawing has never been my strongest thing so maybe I shouldn’t do any of that. The rest of my school work has been OK but I should make them a bit better before putting any of it in a portfolio. I just don’t know if I am able to do them because the time is so limited.

These 11 months have gone quite fast. Soon it’s another end of a road and it’s time to drift away to something else again. It only feels like I haven’t learned anything and if I have, I’ve forgotten about it. At one point I was quite excited about graphic design but now it feels like I will never get better at it. I’m always doubting in my mind that no one will never want to hire me or pay for my work. Once an amateur, always an amateur. I feel I have no talent and my designs are crap. A lot of people think in some time of their life that they’re not any good. When you feel the worse, you don’t think about that. It’s only when you talk to someone about it or you read about it online, you realise you’re not alone with your thoughts. I’m waiting for someone to say I don’t have what it takes and I should do something else. Maybe people just want to be kind and not telling me the truth.

I shouldn’t forget why I studied graphic design in the first place. It wasn’t because I wanted to work in print. I only wanted it to be part of web design and it still is. I’m more into digital graphic design because print is much more complicated. I’m not really sure about web design either anymore. I haven’t done any of it in 2 years. Unless you count this blog. I don’t know if I’ve even good at web design. It’s too technical for my taste. That’s another reason why I chose to study graphic design. I don’t really know what I want to do. This road is ending and I don’t know what road I’ll find next. Maybe I’m back to square one which is a place I do not want to be in at this age. Now I want to think about the portfolio thing and think about the next step some other time.

It’s sumptuous to be a Finn when your team win

Finnish ice hockey team wins

A lot of people thought Finland won’t succeed in 2019 Ice Hockey World Championships because we didn’t have NHL players. But our team showed those doubters they were all wrong. This not so famous team wins all these big ice hockey countries, Sweden, Russia and Canada. Winning a championship is such a sumptuous thing and I still can’t believe Finland is a champion. I watched all the Finnish games and there were both disappointments and joy. The team proved the whole world you don’t need to have millions to win. Finland’s ice hockey team is a team with a big T.

Ice hockey is such a big thing in Finland. It’s our 3rd championships. You could say the whole country goes crazy. In some cities they do. Some go overboard though but they can blame themselves if they get hurt. Personally, I’m just happy and then I move on. At this moment they show the celebrations in Helsinki on TV. I’m so proud of those guys. They didn’t give up and they really deserve this win. No one will ever take this away from them. This is a great day to be a Finn. Until the next ice hockey championship.

Finland is Ice Hockey World Champions 2019!