I wrote about solitude in 2014 so here is the post that’s still true to this day.
Solitude is not as bad as you think
Published on April 5, 2014
Decided to take part in this challenge. Sounds like fun. And I’m an introvert so it fits me perfectly.
Solitude is a much better word than lonely or loneliness. Lonely sounds like it’s a bad thing. Everybody needs solitude sometimes. Especially extroverts have problems being alone. I think they’ve been around people too much. If they would be alone at least a while, maybe they wouldn’t be so stressed.
I’ve never had problems with solitude. Maybe I’m just so used to being on my own. That’s much better than having too many people around. I need a place to think. Solitude should be my middle name. I live for it. Without it, I could not think. Even people looking over my shoulder makes me nervous. My solitude is taking my bike out and go for a ride. Luckily I live close to nature. There’s always a place where there’s no people around. Just hearing the birds sing is music for my ears.
Solitude is also in the mind. No one knows what you’re thinking until you say it out loud. Being an introvert has is advantages. You think before you speak. Extroverts should try it once in a while. Find your inner solitude. That will clear your mind and maybe you will learn to listen to others too.
Got another rejection in the job search. “We have looked at your application but you’re not the one we’re looking for” Not exactly those words but close. I don’t know why I bother applying for jobs. Why should I strain myself with writing applications? It doesn’t matter what I write, I still get nothing. I can’t understand how people waste their time writing hundreds of applications. It’s a waste of time and energy. No wonder people get depressed. Being rejected by anyone is not nice. I rather use my time doing other things than writing applications that only makes my head spin. I don’t even think I study new things to get a job anymore. I study for my own amusement because what else can I do. Job search is like dating. People say “you’ll find someone too” which is the same “you’ll find a job too” I wouldn’t hold my breath I would say to both.
It seems I won’t get a job as a web designer and I won’t get a job in graphic design. Open positions don’t show up every day in that field. I wonder how someone gets hired who have no common sense. Or people who can’t park their cars, bike, electric kick scooters or any other vehicle in the right place or between the lines in a parking lot. Or they can’t close the gate or door behind them. It’s usually people who are incapable of doing daily things by themselves. Maybe they’re just good at lying in job interviews or any other skill to get hired. You either need to be very lucky or be a fake person to get a job. At least in this country. Especially if you’re an introvert with no job experience in your field, you’re officially in the rejection pile. And you have gaps in your work experience. If I was mentally weak, I would too have difficulties to cope with my joblessness. Getting another rejection letter (email in this case) just bounces off my shoulders. I knew I wouldn’t get chosen for the next step anyway so I’m not that surprised. They were probably looking for someone in their 20’s who have just graduated from school. Not someone who’s over 40 who just have graduated from an education. Just as well. I rather move on. I wouldn’t have been up to the job anyway.
I don’t fit in any company. I have the personality of a toilet brush, for starters. Joke aside. I’m a loner who’s not very good company when it comes to being social with a co-worker. That’s what employers are looking for mostly. A person who socialise but at the same time have skills of a superhuman. Who’s living in a dream world, huh? People with jobs have no real idea of how it is to be unemployed. Unless they’ve been one themselves. These days you can’t just go to a company and you get hired right there and then. That’s not how it works. Before judging the unemployed, people should look at the bigger picture. Telling someone to get a job doesn’t help at all. It’s so easy to blame the unemployed when there is much else to it. I have no personal experiences of negative comments but I’ve read a lot of those on the Internet. I feel really annoyed for them who has to hear it constantly. Some people can’t even do any job. They have allergies or other physical problems. Like people with jobs, all unemployed are different.
If people want to write job applications for any job, then so be it. But I only apply for a job I’ve studied. Call me picky but I call it having standards. I see no point using my energy to search for a job I know I’m not qualified for. The quality is more important than quantity when it comes to job search. You only get stressed if you’re forced to look for any job. Job search is unfair. People with connections have a better chance to get a job than someone who hasn’t. It shouldn’t be that way but that’s how it works. Apparently, you can find connections but I don’t know how that really works. I think it’s awkward to get in touch with a person you never even met. This thing about branding yourself to get your dream job is unnatural. Since when have humans become products? If you have your own business, then branding is good but in a job search, I think not. Then only the young and the beautiful will get a job. Why do I even bother with this whole job search thing? It’s too complex when it shouldn’t. I better just be unemployed for the rest of my life. But that’s a destiny I’m not gonna accept.
Being a creative person has it’s good and bad sides. Bad is when you have no inspiration and no motivation. The best thing about it is when the flow of inspiration strikes. Those are the best days. Ideas come flooding in your head and you spend hours doing what you love. It can be writing or anything artistic. People who have these flows coming out only truly know how it feels. Other can probably imagine but they don’t really know how it is. You can’t just tell a person to create something in a minute. It takes longer than that. If you want things to be done properly you should have time to do it. Nothing good comes out of things when they are rushed. You can’t force out your creativity. Sometimes you have to wait for the flow and that’s something an ‘average’ person can’t handle.
Everyone is good at something and for me, writing is my passion. I don’t claim I’m the best because I’m not an author. I just write because I love it and I do it for fun. I especially love writing fiction. I have always had a good imagination. Writing stories was one of my favourite things in school. I always got good grades from the teachers. I got my inspirations from music, movies and daily things. It doesn’t really matter where. I can get an idea of anything. Even from strangers so people better beware because they can end up in one of my stories. OK, not really but almost. Fiction is made up and not a fact of real life. Even though sometimes when you think something won’t be real it actually does happen. I’ve been amazed by some of the characters I wrote about actually do exist in real life. It’s more about human behaviour than a real person. I’m no Agatha Christie so I don’t write crime stories like murder. Even though some of my characters do break the law.
Sometimes when I write a story I get writer’s block in the middle of a story but I get an idea what will happen after the unfinished chapter. That’s what has happened to ‘Teach me manners‘ It’s stuck now because I have written things what happens after the next episode. I can’t post it because the next one is incomplete. This is where the flow of inspiration ends. To create something I need the right moment to go on. If I don’t have the right feeling I struggle to get anything done. It’s not only about writing but it’s also photography. If I don’t have the right moment I don’t feel like doing it. That’s what I realised I can’t be a pro photographer. I don’t have the right passion. I also realised I wanted to do more than just photography. When I do get the flow going, I keep it running. Those are the best times. Having a break from one creativity thing and do the other is refreshing. It’s like taking a holiday and then come back with a lot of new ideas.
I go with the flow when I create something. It’s the same with this blog. I write when I have something to write about. That’s why I don’t want to be paid to blog. When you have it as a hobby there is no pressure to write. If you don’t feel like writing you don’t. You get to do other things and that is freedom to be creative when you feel it. In a way, the flow of inspiration is my hobby and when it strikes I’m glad I’m the creative one.
In my world 