Month: December 2024

Advent Calendar 2024 – Day 11

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Christmas balls, stars and light part 11
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Day 11

The journey to the end of the year 2024 is going on. The year wasn’t the way I thought it would. My dad died, and that’s something I didn’t think would happen so soon. I hoped he would have lived as long as possible, but you don’t always get what you want. I didn’t think my mother would have passed away at 68 years of age. On Sunday, it’s been 11 years. You don’t think about the day your parents die when you’re younger. You only live your life, and you don’t think about it. I had classmates who lost one of their parents when they were in school, but I never thought I would lose mine as early as I did. It doesn’t matter what age you are; losing a loved one is never easy. You might as well be 5 years old. Except when you’re older, you know what it means. When I lost my big sister in 1983, I was only 6 years old, and luckily, I didn’t remember much about it. My dad used to say that I was smiling more before her death. It does change your whole life when you’re at the start of it. It’s tough, especially for the parents, to lose a child. We took a trip to Europe to get past the sorrow. We went to Germany, the Italy-Austrian Alps, Denmark and Switzerland. It was cheaper because I travelled for free. It was possible in the 1980s, and I don’t think you can do that anymore. Getting away was one way to handle grief. You get other things to think about.

I have to make my journey on Earth without them. I still have good memories of them and can always return to photos and videos. I believe things happen for a reason. When you experience life challenges, you get mentally stronger. You need to because life goes on, and you make the most of it. The loved ones want you to move on because life is for the living. There is a time and place for everything. My next journey is the Christmas cruise to Tallinn, which I’m looking forward to. It will be different without Dad. At least I don’t need to ask anyone else where to go.

Advent Calendar 2024 – Day 9

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Christmas balls, stars and light part 9
Made with Canva

Day 9

The worst feeling in the world is jittery. I used to hate it, but as the years have gone by, I’m not as jittery as I was when I was younger. I still don’t like giving speeches or talking in front of a big crowd. Talking to strangers is easier the older you get. You don’t have anyone who could speak for you. If you’re worried about talking to people, you don’t get anything done. I thought I would never get over my jittery when I was a child and a teenager. Even when I went to the store, I wanted to leave there as soon as possible. The more I interacted with other people, the less jitter I felt. Life experiences also make you feel confident and care less about what others might think about you. I still get jittery when I should call a stranger on the phone, and that’s something I should work on. I’m worried they won’t get the message I want to say, and things won’t happen as they should. That’s one of the reasons why I prefer writing an email. But you need to call on the phone for certain things.

Life is easier when you don’t feel jitter, but a little jitter isn’t bad. Everyone can feel it at first. Even people in the public eye might feel jitter in their stomachs before a speech or standing in front of an audience. No one has died of jittery. It doesn’t matter if we make mistakes. We’re human and not perfect. It’s not the end of the world if you screw up. Next time, you can do better. Besides, no one really cares if you make mistakes, and they might not even notice. Things feel much better once you no longer have that negative jitter in your stomach.