Author: Mia

My primary blog, 'In my world,' is about things I like. Not so much personal stuff. I'm a private person who wants to keep it that way. Also, visit my 'MiaPhotolio'

You infected me with Hiddlestoner

Mia8 Comments

proud hiddlestoner textBefore everything was fine. There were no distractions. At least not this kind. Then I got infected with Hiddlestoner. Fandom of British actor, Tom Hiddleston. Every person in a fandom is different. A different perspective. For some, it can just be someone they admire or look up to. Then there are those who want to marry them. Of course, that’s just a fantasy. It won’t come true. Besides that kind of thoughts disappear as soon as they meet a person in real life. Being a fan is not only for teenagers. On Urban Dictionary there is kind of funny description of what a Hiddlestoner is. Some people can take it a bit too far but as long as it’s only harmless fun no harm done.

I wouldn’t really feel comfortable calling myself a real Hiddlestoner. I don’t go searching for info or photos of him. They just happen to appear somewhere. Mostly on Pinterest these days. Somethings I don’t want to know.  Like his personal life because that’s not my business. It feels a bit weird being called a fan because he’s so much more than an actor to me. Sometimes I wish he could just be someone you meet in a normal situation. Then again if he was just a so-called ordinary person, I wouldn’t know about him. Let’s face it, you won’t find a person like him on the street. Especially in my country. He wouldn’t even notice me, actor or not. So it wouldn’t really matter what the situation would be. How does anyone really know what he’s really like? Maybe it’s just good branding. Be nice and charming and the admires will come. I’m not saying it’s all an act. I did fall for that same “marketing strategy” A lot later but still.

I see a lot of these “oh he’s so perfect” Sorry but he’s not. No one is. In interviews, he only tells you what he wants you to know. Anyone have their flaws so he’s no different from the rest of us. Famous people, in general, are put up on a pedestal and people see them as “perfect” But they’re still human but a lot of money to spend. A lot of these fangirls of Tom probably think everything he does or says is perfect. Not even his acting is perfect. That’s a part you can improve in though. He might look perfect but still not totally flawless. I do admit it was his appearance I noticed first. I actually didn’t even know how he looked like until I saw the video on Youtube with the Sesame Street’s Cookie Monster. I knew about Loki but I hadn’t cared about Marvel movies at all. After I saw ‘The Night Manager’ I knew there was no turn back. So thank you, Tom, for destroying another life.

 

“Our list of allies grows thin”

Mia3 Comments

thin eleven dice

In this case, my allies grows thin. I have no plans what to do next. Except for that graphic design course in Helsinki Design School. This heat we have now makes me tired and I can’t concentrate. It’s only May but it feels like summer. I just hate hot weather and I wish it would be over for good. At least there will be some release soon. Summer also mean summer jobs. For young people that is. People go on their holidays and you can’t contact any of the employers. Companies have their substitutes already. Time just isn’t on my side. So isn’t my age.

I’m turning 41 in June and the older I get fewer changes I have. It gets thinner and thinner. It doesn’t help last time I had a job was in 2012 and it wasn’t even paid. I had that on-the-job learning thing but I guess that’s not appreciated either. Employers probably think I’m lazy because I haven’t bothered getting a job. It doesn’t help I’ve studied things. They want people with jobs and not a long-term unemployed person. Not only that but also people with talking skills. I fail at job interviews because I’m an introvert who can’t act extroverted. When I try to find a job to apply for it’s in a different city and I’m under qualified. I got so many flaws and feel I failed at employment altogether. There is no use crying over something that has already happened. I should look forward and keep the faith.

I wish I wasn’t such a dreamer. I should do something about my life instead of complain about it. I just feel I’m a misfit for everything. There are times I’ve felt I belonged. Like in studying but when it comes to making things for a living, I’m totally in a different universe. Once in my life, I want to do something brave and being an entrepreneur is one of them. But it’s so hard to decide to do it or not. I did the course but it doesn’t mean I can really do it. I don’t want to fail and start all over again. I lack the experience of a real paid job but a lot of young people start a business without any experience so that shouldn’t be a problem for me. There are so many questions and thin answers that I don’t know what to do. I read about blogs about entrepreneurs who’s been doing it for years and they make it look so easy. They have their problems but they solve them. It feels like I don’t really belong to that brave bunch. Because they are brave unlike me who do anything to avoid problems. I don’t seem to have that entrepreneur mindset either.

Every time I look for a job to apply for I don’t find anything suitable. I want to give up the job search altogether. Especially that active model Finland has now where you have to get a job or else you lose part of your unemployment benefits. Entrepreneurship looks so much more tempting. Starting one isn’t the hardest part though, it’s what comes after it. My problems are really decision making. As long as I’m healthy and vibrant anything can be possible. If you give up and start thinking you’re not wanted anywhere, it’s then you lose yourself and your hopes will be dashed. Allies might get thin but you can always find new ones. There’s always someone with the same kind of problems. You can find a solution one way or another. The best feeling is when you can share your thoughts with other people and they can relate to it. I really hope this post has had that same effect.