In 2008 I bought a Canon EOS D40 SLR camera. I wanted to take better pictures. I used to have a film camera but that broke down. It was more of an amateur camera anyway. A camera you take on holidays and stuff. I wanted a camera where I could take more professional photos. Even though I’ve had that camera this long, I still don’t really know how to take photos with it. Sometimes I lose hope that I will never get any good. Maybe the camera is still too difficult to handle. I try to take picture of movement but it always seem the become blurry. It irritates me that I still can’t do it. I just lose hope I want to give up.
I was on a cruise and there were this dance show. I got quite depressed I couldn’t take any decent photos of it. I thought, I better just shoot things that stay still. I was so disappointed. I’ve got this love/hate relationship with my camera. My brain tells me, ‘you can’t do anything with your camera. Just give up’ No matter what settings I try, nothing is working. No matter how many photography courses or advice online I find, it doesn’t seem to stay in my brain. I don’t want to take amateur photos to fill my photo archive. I want to take photos I can sell. That’s one of the reasons I applied to Helsinki Design School. To learn from people who knows about photography and the business itself. Learn from the best. I hope to get more analysed feedback and to learn new things.
My other most-prized possession is my bike. I bought that with my own money. I cycled since I was 3 so I’ve had a few bikes. This one was the first that I could call my own. You find it in this photo. I love cycling. Feeling the wind in my hair. It’s my convertible. Peddling really fast and then just enjoy the ride. I never drive in the winter but when spring arrives I take a bike ride somewhere. As the summer goes by I take longer trips. Since I don’t have a driver’s license, my bike is the only transportation I have. I’ve had a few accidents with it but it has never been serious. With a bike you can go almost anywhere. It’s also much faster than with a car. It’s good exercise as well.
The 3rd is my lap top. I planned for years to buy one. I’ve occupied my parents PC so it was a relief for them that I bought a lap top. Well, it’s actually my dad that bought it. But it’s still mine. I’ve had it almost 3 years. It feels like I’ve only got it a year or so. How time flies. People usually take their lap tops with them but I don’t. I’ve only used the battery a few times. I don’t even know where I put it. I don’t want to be too attached to gadgets. Like some people do. My lap top has Photoshop where I edit my photos. I have Windows 7. That’s much better than Windows 8 that looks like a mobile solution. It’s a computer and not an iPhone for crying out loud. My lap top is also the one where I write this blog.
So my most-prized possession are material things. Not all material things are bad. It just depends what you used them for.
Writing 101 is already over but I haven’t finished the assignments yet. This should be free writing day but I’m gonna cheat a little. I won’t “free write” because I will check the spelling out. I just don’t like my spelling errors. Especially in English. I don’t want to write nonsense either.
So models is the subject. You know those models on the catwalk. I’ve watched the Fashion channel and I don’t even follow fashion. I have no intentions of writing fashion in the first place. I’m just amazed how the models can walk in a streight line without falling over. I tried to walk like that just for fun and it’s not easy at all. They also wear weird shoes with high heels. I don’t know how they do it. I don’t think it looks pretty either. The walking that is.
Most of the models are female. If you ask people if they can name any model in the world. The answer would always be a female. But where are the men models? If you ask me, I could say a lot of males that could be models but they’re not. Male models I’ve seen aren’t really gorgeous. Sure they’re tall and all that but that’s about it. I’ve seen better looking men on the streets than male models on TV. I could name a few non models but I don’t know if any of my readers know who they are. And I won’t search for any photos of them either. So I won’t name any.
OK, maybe one. Or two. For example Usain Bolt, the fastest man on earth. He’s tall and fit with a glimpse in his eyes. He could be a model. But athletes probably do PR work that contains modelling for something. Another one that could be a model is Lee Pace. He’s tall (long pause) I was saying. Yes tall. Sorry got distracted there for a moment. Let’s just say he got a lot of good qualities to be a model. But that’s all I’m saying.
You don’t see male models on Fashion TV that often but maybe because most good-looking men are not models at all. I’ve been to fashion shows but they are not the same. Shows I’ve been to have been in department stores. Fashions shows are quite boring but it would be kind of fun to see those real ones. Peace.
I was 6 years old. I was taking a walk in the park with my mum. There was this small downhill. We were walking down and I started to run. What I didn’t know was, that there was this women with her little dog. That was you. She kept you running free. As a 6-year old, you don’t see what’s coming next. I was just running down the hill when you decided to run after me. Maybe it was just a game for you but for me, it was a fear for my life. It changed me forever. It used to be me that ran after dogs when I was younger, until you came a long. I was scared every time I saw one of your kind. My legs were shaking and my heart pounding faster when I saw dogs running free. It wasn’t just dogs I became scared off but other pets as well. Especially cats. The only animal I wasn’t scared of were bunnies.
My friend had a cat and when I came to visit, they had to put it in another room. I never told anyone I was scared so I just told them I didn’t like animals. I couldn’t even go to kids parties incase they had a cat or a dog. The reason I didn’t tell people, was the fear of them letting their dogs attack me just to make fun of me. Now when I think about it, maybe they wouldn’t have been that cruel. I was just embarrassed to be scared of something that was silly to them. For me it was real fear.
I don’t blame you though. You were just a dog that didn’t understand you did anything wrong. It’s your masters fault. It was her that should have kept you on a leash. It wasn’t a park for dogs. It was her job to keep you in control. It was she that should have command you to come to her. She was your master and she did a bad job. Maybe she was like you, didn’t understand what was happening. But how could anyone know that chase would have affected a 6-year old so deeply. All I did was just running down that hill.
So that you won’t feel so bad about it. When I became an adult, that fear disappeared. I still feel a little shaky if I see a free dog coming towards me. I don’t think I will never get used to dogs but I feel much safer when they are on a leash. They can even come close and it wouldn’t scare me. I do trust dogs but what I don’t trust, are the people ownners. There are dog people who doesn’t seem to understand that their pet can still be dangerous no matter how nice they seem to be. They still have that animal instinct after all.
There is a saying “face your fear” and I think I’ve just done that. Even if I’m not scared the way I used to, it won’t make me want a dog. But that has nothing to do with you.