Repost: My life is not an open book

Originally published on January 27, 2017

male hands holding an open book
©️Mia Salminen

What you see is what you get, doesn’t really apply to me. I have a filter that protects me from prying eyes. It’s not that I want to hide the real me from others but I’m an introvert and we’re careful. I’ve also learned to be careful from past experiences. At home I can be myself but in public, I’m reserved. I have thoughts some might not understand. My life is not an open book and I want to keep it private. If I open up to a person, it’s someone I trust. The only one who knows the real me, is myself. Not even my parents knew. They only knew what I was when I was younger. I’ve never told them I write this blog for example. Some things you just want to keep to yourself. You need to do it. If I told everyone everything about myself, the mystery would be lost. That’s what life should be about. If you know everything about a person then there’s no surprises. What kind of life would it be?

People post about what they do on social media. Some keep updating things they’re doing at that moment. Who they talk to and where they are. I find that boring. I don’t care what you ate, if you took a shower, baked a cake or went to a birthday party. I don’t care about what your friends are doing or who they got engaged to. That’s what I keep seeing on Facebook. On Twitter I have ‘only’ 6125 tweets in 7 years I’ve been there. I don’t tweet nonsense. From time to time I do post things I do but that’s not regularly like most people do. I’m not trying to make a world record of tweets. When I have something important to say, I tweet it. I also hate selfies. Every time someone post one, I totally ignore it. Especially celebrities. Like they weren’t enough in the public eye already. If I want to see photos of them, I look for real photos taken by pros. Since camera phones were invented people think they’re all photographers.

Everyone seems to want to be like everybody else. I don’t want to be like everyone. I have a natural filter and know what to tell about myself online. If you read my about page, you know why I don’t post private things. Everybody seems to write about that. I dare to be different. Even though I have Instagram, I don’t post there much. To be honest, I find it a bit boring. It’s just isn’t my thing. I was excited at first when I could finally join last year but now I’m not that much. I follow 14 different one’s and that’s fine. For example I follow @cutepetclub because there’s so many cuties in it. Pets that is. I like looking at other people’s posts but when it comes to posting myself, I’m not that keen anymore. Sometimes I just scroll without looking because let’s face it, what people post there is boring.

I don’t have the urge to get people’s attention and that’s the same in real life. One on one conversations is good enough for me. I get really uncomfortable if someone looks at me. I wouldn’t make Youtube videos because I feel uneasy in front of a camera. It was different when I was a kid. I was cute then. I leave those things to others. I don’t go after things because they’re popular. I’m not the victim of commercials. It’s easy to judge someone by the first impression but I’m more than what people see when they meet me. People give up too easily when they do. That’s one of the reasons I find it hard to meet new people. It’s really their loss and not mine. I’m proud of who I am and if I were someone else, I would be my friend. I always say I’m my own best friend because who knows me best than myself.

Bloganuary: Repost: Day 1: I write because…

Originally published 2016/09/26

handwritten

Tallenna

TallennI write because it’s fun. Writing is like breathing. Without breathing, you can’t live. Writing is also good therapy. It’s also easier to express my thoughts. If I talk to someone, I always think first about what to say. When I write things, I have time to think. In a conversation, you might forget what you were supposed to say and when the situation is over, it’s too late. It happens too often. That’s also an introversion thing. It always feels weird when I have to start conversations. When I write, things go the way I’ve planned them.

I couldn’t ever make blogging a living. I’m not good enough to give advice. I’m the one who needs guidance. It would be too challenging to think every day about what to write. I write when I feel like it. I’m not good at keeping up a schedule when it comes to writing. I couldn’t be an author either, even if I’ve always been good at writing fiction. Speaking of that. I love writing fan fiction. It’s also a great escape from reality. You need to live in another world for a while. Especially when bad things are happening in the real world.

When I was younger, I had diaries. I didn’t write anything secret. Unless you mean crushes on pop stars. That’s nothing to be embarrassed about. If someone found my diaries and read them, I wouldn’t care. I’ve read them, and it’s more of, what was I thinking, kind of thing. But nothing I feel ashamed of. If I was famous tabloids, they would be very disappointed. There’s nothing there that would destroy my career. If I had one, that is.

I started writing at 7 years old, but then it was only a few sentences. Like I said before in this post, writing is like breathing to me. The same with music and photography. I just can’t live without them. I have to get my thoughts out of my head, and writing is better than keeping it all inside. You don’t have to be a great writer to write. It doesn’t even have to be published anywhere. As long as you write, that’s all that matters. That’s how I survive from depression. I feel down at times, but I’m lucky I don’t suffer from it. I could never put myself in someone elses shoes, but I can be there for the person who does have it bad.

These are the reasons why I write. If someone said I should stop writing, I should say, stop breathing. I’ll write until I can’t no more. It’s my life, and you should do what you like with yours. Do what you love, and don’t let other people spoil your mood.

This is a daily inspiration and my 30 minutes is up.

Tallenna

The day after The Daily Post ends

never lose hope on wall

Realised at about 3 pm that there won’t be a new daily prompt in The Daily Post anymore. Felt something was missing. Every day there was a new word but now there’s is none. Or a new photo challenge every week. I thought what should I write about now. An old prompt maybe? The problem is there is no place on their site where you can click on a random word. It used to be ‘Try another’ but it seems to have been taken away. You have to search the whole archive to find the prompts. It’s just too complicated so maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to blog about old topics after all. I guess I have to restart my thinking. We’ll see how this post will go. This prompt is from March this year.

There are other prompts out there but they will never replace The Daily Post. They’re like a family member who’s passed away. No one will be them because they’re unique in their own way. Of course, it’s not grief. Or maybe it is for someone. They’re not really gone because the site is still online. We can still go back and read about blogging. It will be interesting to see what The Daily Post have posted in the past. If you haven’t browsed it already.

So how are You coping? Do you have the day after blues or have you accepted the loss of The daily post and their challenges? If you ask me, it does feel empty and I don’t know what to do. I always looked forward to the next challenge. But I get used to it not seeing it again. Soon it will only be a memory and I would have moved on. It will be more boring but I just have to substitute the emptiness with other things.