My motivation is not fiction

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What motivates you?

Daily Writing Prombt

It’s easier to say what doesn’t motivate me because it depends on my mood. Feelings are usually controlling my life. Sometimes, I don’t feel like doing anything, but other times, my motivation is high. I like those days because then I know I’ve done something. When things don’t go the way I wish, I get frustrated. I don’t like doing things that are done in vain. I’ve studied things where the money went down the drain, even if I did learn something from those times. I didn’t get a job, which is the biggest lie ever. “Get a degree and the doors to heaven open” – kind of thing. It doesn’t work for everyone. Education is not the only factor that gets you a job. You also need luck and good connection skills. I only have the feeling people have something against me. That’s only fiction in my head. Maybe my motivation is not getting into a position some people are. People in the world have more significant issues than I do. The way things are going in the world, it would be no surprise if worse things could happen to me, too. Be happy with what you have because tomorrow, they might be gone.

I should know. All my family members are gone, and only me left. No one can take their place. When I go outside, I see why I want to go back inside. No one will give me the same security as my family did. What I miss the most about them is having someone to talk to. It’s not the same with other people. The only relative I have some contact with is my cousin, but she has her family and business to take care of. The last time I met her was at my dad’s memorial service. But if I wanted her help or something, then she would. I’m motivated without relatives. Most of them didn’t keep in touch after my sister died in 1983. I have managed without them, so I don’t need them either. I’m not part of the Modern Family TV series, after all. My dad was in contact with his half-sister, but he didn’t get in touch with her when he was in hospital. I couldn’t get any contact with her either after Dad died. She was over 90 years old, so maybe she didn’t live at home anymore, or perhaps she died. Her kids didn’t inform us about anything anyway. Nice relatives there. Who needs a relative bothering you all the time. It’s better to be estranged from relatives you were never close to anyway than trying to connect with people who don’t care anyway.

I can stay motivated as long as I can do it in peace. If too many distractions distract me, I don’t get things done and don’t like to rush things. Getting support from others keeps me motivated. My parents, especially my mother, were good at that. She told me I should do the best I could and that I could do anything that I put my mind to. My parents didn’t pressure me into any occupation, and I could make my own decisions. That’s what every parent should do, let their kids become anything they want. You don’t need to be the best. We all have our strengths, and we should focus on them. It’s a shame the world has become the way it is today. Defining success with how much you make or how many followers you have on social media. If you haven’t, you have failed and aren’t worth anything. There is so much greed and selfishness that it’s not funny anymore. If you don’t fight it, you’re part of the problem. It motivated me to be different from others. I hope I never become the person some people are. I could never be cruel intentionally because I have a conscience and sympathy for others. It comes from past experiences and a good upbringing. I wish I could do more than blog about the wrongs in the world, but that’s the closest I can get. It might not reach the world, but at least my motivation is not fiction. These are my genuine thoughts about this. I blog to share my thoughts with others, and when someone likes a post and maybe leaves a comment, I feel motivated to go on. Even if I don’t get any, I can still keep the mood on good terms. Worse things could happen like AI writing my posts instead of me. Then Terminator movies might come true. As long as I’m not a robot, things will be fine.

A wheel is better than no wheel at all

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On July 15, 2024, I’ve had the driver’s license for three years. At first, I had my dad with me, but now I have to drive alone. If he wasn’t, I wouldn’t be the driver I am today. He gave me the courage to drive. Before, I drove alone a short way. The first time I drove alone was when I drove him to the hospital in January this year. I didn’t know then, but it was the last time he was with me in the car. Because of him, I wasn’t scared of driving alone. He taught me how to drive his car. It’s a manual, so you drive it a little differently. Before continuing, you can read an old post about getting the licence below.

Passed the test
Originally posted on July 16, 2021

It’s true that when you get a wheel under you, you feel freedom. In 2017, I didn’t think I needed a driver’s license, but my opinions changed. I didn’t like to drive when I first got my temporary license, so I didn’t finish driving school then. But how things change. I have driven longer distances, and the more confident I get, the more I enjoy it. I will still use the train or buses if I go even longer distances. My hands and legs get tired if I drive too far. All those long drives to the North of Finland that my dad had to do, I admire how he could manage all that driving. I couldn’t do it. It took almost 14 hours to drive there, rests included. We only went there once a year to ski, but that was enough. I probably won’t go there again, even if you can go by train. We did that a few times because Dad didn’t feel like driving that far the older he got. Dad also drove in Europe when I was 6 years old and then in Germany in 2008. I won’t do the same. I would be terrified driving on the motorway in Germany. Finnish motorways are enough for me.

You get used to driving when you do it often enough. At first, I didn’t like driving on the motorway or in traffic, but now it comes naturally to me. A wheel is better than no wheel at all. Owning a car isn’t cheap. I could rent, but that isn’t very convenient because I never know when I will need one. I could always be without a car, though. But then there wouldn’t be the same freedom that comes with having wheels. I’ve thought of buying a new car one day, but I got used to driving my dad’s car, so maybe not yet. If I replace it, it would feel like I’m hurting the car’s feelings. I know it’s only a car, but I was with Dad when he bought it, so it’s like a family member. We had it for years. It’s not in my name yet, so it’s not my car. I don’t think I know how to buy a car even if I’ve been with Dad at the car dealer. One thing is sure, once you have wheels, you can be without one again.

An interview about me

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I thought it would be fun if you could interview yourself. Asking yourself questions you wish someone would ask, but no one ever does. This is not a selfish act like a particular American presidential candidate does *cough* Trump *cough* It’s only a bit of fun, and maybe get to know me better. The questions are from Gemini (Google AI)

Questions to Get to Know You Better

General Interest

What are you passionate about?

I’m not passionate about anything. I have opinions and things I like to do, but I wouldn’t call them passions.

What kind of music do you enjoy listening to?

I listen to all kinds of music, except music styles where they scream. My favourite band is Duran Duran and Bon Jovi. My favourite singers are Robbie Williams and Bryan Adams. If I wrote every band and singer, it would take forever to write them down. Besides Robbie, Bryan and DD, I’ve been to Pet Shop Boys and Toto concerts. That might give you a general idea of what kind of music I listened to.

Do you have any hobbies or interests?

My prominent hobby is writing this blog. But I also do photography, write fan fiction, cycle, and watch movies.

What is your favourite book or movie?

I don’t read much, but I like biographies and books about different subjects. I love movies, and I have many favourites. (FYI; When I was 10 years old, I belonged to a movie club.) I love Lord of the Rings and Pirates of the Caribbean. I’ve seen those movies several times on DVD. I also love The Hobbit movies, the most underrated trilogy ever.

Where would you like to travel if you could go anywhere in the world?

New Zeeland, but I probably never will. You need money to travel, and I can only afford cruises to Stockholm or Tallinn. Being unemployed sucks when it comes to money.

Personal and Background

What is your ideal day like?

I could sleep all day and stay up all night, but life is too short to do only that. It would be nice to do things I like, but you don’t get paid to do that.

What are you proud of achieving?

I might be proud of having a good upbringing and the courage to stay alive even if things weren’t always good.

What is something you’ve learned recently?

I feel that all my hard work on social media is being ignored. Maybe it’s the algorithms, or I’m not good enough to be liked for what I post there.

What’s one thing you’d like to improve about yourself?

I wish I weren’t so lazy about starting things. I also wish I could make decisions faster than I do now.

What kind of environment do you thrive in?

Where I can be alone most of the time.

Future Goals and Aspirations

What are your long-term goals?

To find peace. Since my dad died in February, I still have things to do. Some things take so long. I will sell my flat, but the cleaning and all that takes forever.

What kind of work environment do you prefer?

I need a place where I can do my work in peace. I can work if the music is on, but if someone is talking, it’s a different manner.

What motivates you in your career?

I don’t have a career. You need a job to have that.

What challenges are you excited to overcome?

Excited isn’t the word, but I was happy to finish or leave an education I didn’t like.

What do you hope to achieve in the next five years?

I don’t have a job, and it looks like I won’t either. I hope I can be an entrepreneur by then. But I haven’t even started yet, so maybe it won’t happen. If I do, I hope it succeeds fasten then in 5 years.

Deeper Questions

What makes you laugh?

Comedy. People that have a particular look on their faces in comedy shows or movies. Kelsey Grammar (Frasier) has the best one. That’s what made the show funny to this day. Also, Jim Carrey makes me laugh.

What are you grateful for in your life?

I had parents who let me be me. Without them, I’m not the person I am today. I’m also grateful for having a sister, even if I only had her for six years. Having both of my grandmothers was also a blessing. May they all rest in peace.

What is your biggest fear?

My biggest fear used to be dogs, but I got over it. Now, I don’t mind if one sniffs me. I used to be terrified if they got even close. My other fear was losing my parents, but now they’re gone anyway. At least I had them around while growing up. If I lost them as a teenager, then things could be different. Death is part of life, and one day, I will be gone, too. My biggest fear is that I get cancer like my mother or I will get some other illness with lots of pain. I also fear needles. That’s one of the reasons why I don’t donate blood or get a tattoo.

What is something you’re struggling with right now?

To go to bed early and wake up early, too. I don’t have a reason to get up when I don’t have a job.

What is your life philosophy?

You get born, you live a decent life, and then you die.

THE END