I only celebrate birthdays

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kids birthday celebrations
My birthday when I turned 6 in 1983

I only celebrate birthdays and Christmas holidays. I don’t care about Valentine’s Day or Friend’s Day, as we call it in Finland. You should celebrate it every day. You don’t need to do it only on this day. I don’t know why you should have a particular day for it. Maybe it’s just a way to rub it on people doesn’t have friends or loved ones. Either way, it’s an unnecessary day.

When I was a kid, I had birthday parties. It was nice to get presents. We had cake and played put a tail on a donkey. That’s what I had when I turned 6. Birthdays were important then, but as older as you get, you don’t celebrate them the same way. Who wants to get old anyway? The last time I had a birthday party was when I was in 5th or 6th grade. Today all I need is a meal with dessert, and then that’s over. Last year I was at some kind of party, the Duran Duran concert. People only congratulate me on Facebook because that’s what the notifications say. I don’t get many congratulations anymore. Maybe they don’t care. Actually, I don’t get any responses on whatever I post. I only post for myself, so I don’t feel so bad.

I haven’t had any friends since 9th grade, but I have managed without any. The last time I saw my former classmates was over 20 years ago. I don’t even know if they’re still alive. You lose touch with people for different reasons, but that’s life. Some find new friends, but some don’t. In the filmmaking course I’m doing, I won’t have any contact with my classmates when it’s over in August. I talk to them, but that’s about it. Typically, I don’t have much in common with people. They’re not on the same wavelength as me. They’re not asking me anything either, so it feels like people don’t want to get to know me. It’s their loss. I have other things to think about.

Different people celebrate in different ways. Some have big parties where they go dancing, and some celebrate quietly at home. There are no right and wrong ways to celebrate. You do the way you feel like. I only celebrate birthdays and Christmas holidays quietly without a big fuss. For me, other celebrations are only an ordinary day among others.

The junction of my work-life

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two paths
Photo by James Wheeler on Pexels.com

🎵I don’t know where I’m going. But I sure know where I’ve been🎵 Here I go again by Whitesnake

It’s uncanny how time has passed again. February already, and I’m in a junction what to do. I wouldn’t say I have a work-life because I don’t. I’m going on Wednesday to update my job-hunting thing. I don’t know what else to call it in English. I’m gonna meet a person to do it. I don’t know what my plans are. Looking for work is looking for a needle in a haystack. Why are they forcing me to apply for jobs where there is none. At least in the field, I’m looking for. I already sent an open application to all the companies I wanted. They didn’t need anyone. At least not me. I didn’t study the things I have to apply for a job I haven’t studied for.

I need to work in a place where they let me be away for a few days from time to time. I’m in school, and then I have concerts to attend. I bought the tickets ages ago and booked a few hotel rooms. I can’t cancel the concert tickets just because the employer doesn’t let me go. It would be easier if I were an entrepreneur because I wouldn’t need anyone’s permission. Being unemployed is restricted. You’re not allowed to do what you want. Well, you are, but then you have no security regarding money. I’m glad I don’t live in the US, or I would probably be living on the street. Our system is more secure. Most people get some kind of benefit, perhaps one of the reasons we don’t have many homeless people. Here in Finland, we take care of people. Most of the time, anyway.

I know where I’ve been and don’t want to return. I look forward. I don’t want to stay in the same junction where I am right now. I need to choose one path and then follow it. My mind is all over the place at the moment. Somehow I’ve always been indecisive because I want to do many things. I also don’t want it to be something that bores me. Life is too short to do things that you don’t like doing. Money hasn’t been my motivation. I only need enough money to pay the bills and maybe travel. In a way, I understand people who don’t want to work, but I can’t understand someone who wants to live with the money they get from benefits. You don’t work for the money. You work because you want to belong somewhere. Besides, having something to do during the day and seeing other people is better than being alone without experiencing anything. The reason I do things is to get life experiences. Hopefully, I would find that in a job.

Things I don’t fancy

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Photo by Monstera on Pexels.com

I’m a picky person. I don’t do things if I don’t feel like it. One of them is cleaning. But this post is not about that. It’s about things I don’t fancy. The second dislike I have besides cleaning is job search. I can understand why some people don’t want to work. It’s trying to find a job that is off-putting. Trying to stand out and know how to promote your skills. Even with a good resume, you need to be a circus person. It’s not only companies that have a brand, but people need to be one too. If I could, I wouldn’t look for work at all. It’s difficult and depressive. You shouldn’t stop trying, but how can you when you get rejected. Job search is so strange these days. As one of the Pet shop boys song “Suburbia” says. ‘I only wanted something else to do but hang around‘ I want to do something with my life and not just be.

What I don’t fancy is trying to find the right words to describe myself in the question, describe myself and what my strengths are. I didn’t even know what to write on this blog’s About me page when I started. I don’t have a way with words. I get frustrated when I can’t find the words so I let it be and do something else instead. Why should you do things you don’t fancy? You can’t force yourself to do anything. If the words won’t come, then they won’t.

What I do fancy right now, is to watch something funny on Disney Plus, so I’m out of here.