One year ago today death showed its face again

Mia5 Comments
grave stone and candle
©Mia Salminen 2025

Today, it’s been a year since my Dad passed away. It was February 8, 2024, and about 11 o’clock when they called from the hospital to tell me he was no more. A year goes fast. I still have things to do, like going through his clothes. But life has moved on, and I have had other things on my mind. Sometimes, I wish he was here, but maybe it was for the best. You never know when death will show its face. It was good that some things were done before he died.

My Dad was a goldsmith who owned a business for 30 years. He continued even after he retired. It was one of his ways of doing something. He was a very good drawer, and he designed the jewellery he made. He made white golden diamond and zircon rings, pendants and earrings. He had a sales rep from whom he got orders from. But then the sales prep died, so Dad began to think about quitting the business. He decided to stop, and at the end of 2023, he sold the business premises. Ultimately, it was good it happened because fewer problems existed for me.

One of his last works was this ring (and a few earrings that were the same set). As the daughter of a goldsmith, I had access to jewellery without having to buy them. I have a lot of different kinds of jewellery, including yellow and white gold rings and pendants. If he tried new designs, I got to try them, so I might have pieces no one else has. It won’t get me rich if I sell them. No one else, for that matter. I haven’t used them for years because I’ve had rashes on my hands. I wore a necklace that my Dad made once last Christmas. For special occasions, I can wear them. Maybe I could begin to wear rings again every day as I did before.

golden ring on finger
©Mia Salminen 2024

No one is perfect, and my dad wasn’t either, but he was still my father, and I’m grateful for that. We didn’t agree on some things, but we got along great mostly. I hoped to have him around a little longer, but we spent a lot of quality time together, and that’s what matters.

Saying no to reunions

MiaLeave a comment
polaroid photos on table
Photo by cottonbro studio on Pexels.com

I have only been to one reunion, and I found it boring. I only went because my cousin did. Meeting a bunch of relatives who don’t even stay in touch and are strangers to me. We didn’t have any contact with any of the relatives besides my dad’s half-sister, my aunt. I got the message through my cousin, who got it through another relative that she died about two weeks ago. When my dad was in the hospital last year, and we tried to contact his sister, we didn’t. After he died, I tried again, but I didn’t get through. She had 3 adult kids, but none of them informed us about her. She was over 90, so it was only a matter of time before she would pass away. She never knew her brother had died. I didn’t have much luck regarding relatives, but I don’t see that as a bad thing. The only relative I keep in touch with somehow is my cousin, who I didn’t know I had about 6 years ago.

I was once invited to a school reunion, but I didn’t go even though I said I would. I don’t know why I should have gone, anyway. They weren’t nice to me in school, and I didn’t see any point in meeting people I don’t know anymore. I didn’t need to prove them anything, and I didn’t care about their lives. The reunion was decades ago, and if any of them would have another reunion, I still wouldn’t go. I say no to reunions of any kind. It would be different if it was with people I cared about. I prefer meeting new people and then moving on. It would be different if I met a singular person, but not in a reunion. It hasn’t happened and probably never will, either.

.

Peter Pan never grew up and I won’t either

MiaLeave a comment
plant growing
Photo by Gelgas Airlangga on Pexels.com

There are different ways to grow—in height, sideways, or mentally. In this case, it means what I want to be when I grow up. I don’t want to grow up because you need to stay childlike in your mind. Peter Pan didn’t grow up, and I won’t either. Life is a long learning process, and you’ll never graduate from it. You only do adult things because who else would do them. Some things you have to do, like paying bills or other responsibilities that come along with it. The worst thing about being an adult is looking for a job and thinking about what to do when you grow up. It’s easier if you already know from a young age. For some, it takes longer.

I have had dreams, but they have never come true. Maybe it wasn’t meant to be. Since I have never had a big dream come true, I have small ones. Life didn’t turn the way I imagined it. When I was a teenager, I thought I would have had a family at 25, but then I thought I would meet the pop star I had a crush on. I also thought I would move to England, but that didn’t happen. My priorities have changed since then. I’ve had dreams after that, too. I wanted to become a Formula One photographer, but that dream was unrealistic. I have spent my life thinking about what to do, and some might think I’ve missed out on what other people have been doing. But you can’t miss something you’ve never had. I didn’t want to be like everyone else, and I am happy with my choices. Some people are meant to be married, have 2,3 children and have a career, but that’s not me. I’m Peter Pan, for crying out loud. Well almost.

My current dream is not to be a job seeker. I hate looking for one job each month and then reporting it to the job search people—I don’t know what these people are called. They expect me to look for something that doesn’t exist, as I would get a job by applying to one. The whole job search is unpleasant because it’s a waste of time and energy. There is only one I should answer for, and that’s me. I don’t want anyone to follow what I’m doing, and if I don’t do what they want, they punish me for not doing enough. By punishment, I mean taking the benefits away. If you don’t apply to jobs they think you don’t want any. It’s not about wanting; it’s about having the possibility to get a job. I don’t want a job to have something to do during the day because I have plenty to do. I want to do something that has a meaning. Life is too short to waste on something you’re forced to do. I’ve had internships where I didn’t want to be, but it was good to have because I didn’t know what I wanted to do. I got at least some job experience, even if employers don’t see it that way. My late mother always used to say you have to start somewhere, and I did. They still want me to apply for jobs that should be offered to young people who don’t know what they want. If I was 18 or more, jobs like that would be OK. But I want a real job with actual pay. I have diplomas that going to waste, and I didn’t study to fill my head with information. I want to put it to good use.

If you have the opportunity to do the things you want, you should do them. Therefore, I’m seriously thinking about becoming an entrepreneur because I want to be useful and make my own schedule. I don’t want to be stuck in this same spinning wheel for the rest of my life. I’ve thought about this for a long time and don’t want it to be a thought only. Nothing happens overnight, and I’m already working on it. This Peter Pan will fly and show you don’t need to be fully grown up to be who you truly are.