Bloganuary: The best of me

feet and a cruise ship

Day 26. What is your favourite part about yourself?- it sounds like a job interview question. I have a lot of good qualities, so I can’t just choose one. Everyone should be proud of who they are. It doesn’t matter if someone doesn’t appreciate them and tries to change you. Unless they are bad qualities, and even then, you are the one who should be open to making the changes.

What people seem to lack is being considerate. They only think about themselves and don’t see there are other people. They have no respect for rules either. They smoke in front of you, and they don’t even ask for permission. They talk loudly no matter what time it is. This is a problem in high-rise buildings. You would think they are hard of hearing. It’s the same with playing music out loud in the middle of the night. There are rules that you shouldn’t make loud noises after 10 pm. When you live in a building with other people, you should respect other people who live there. You can’t act the way you want to. It’s strange that adults don’t know how to be. Just to name of few reasons. I’ve been brought up to be considerate towards others. I can’t understand people who aren’t. Sometimes I wish I lived in a place where there were no other people around. If there were, they should be as considerate as me. People with good manners are always welcome.

I’m also compassionate. I can put myself in someone else’s shoes. Especially if I’ve experienced it personally. I could never hurt anyone of purpose. If I have, I feel bad afterwards. I will never understand why someone wants to hurt someone else. I know how it feels when no one seems to care about you. Bullying kids or adults isn’t right. There have always been different people, and we should respect that. It won’t change by bullying just because they’re different from you. People are afraid of things they don’t understand. Certain people try to be cool, but they only look like fools. The bullies are the ones with the problem. It’s a shame they don’t get the help they need. Having compassion is a quality more people should have. I’m glad I have it, and I don’t need to search for approval from other people. I had enough attention at home.

I’m relatively open-minded. Sometimes I do doubt about trying something new. I’m open-minded about different ways of living. It’s doesn’t matter what sexuality you are or what race you are. All that matters is that you know who you are and are happy in the things you do. As long as you respect others and don’t judge. I dislike it when people assume about things. You should research first before making up your mind. Things are not always the way they seem. I admit that sometimes I disapprove of certain things, but that’s only because I didn’t think they would happen for real. One of them is polyamory relationships. People who live with more than one partner. I just don’t get it. I thought that only happened in fiction. It’s a bit weird that’s a thing. The same with open relationships. So one wasn’t enough?! I wouldn’t say it’s disgusting, but it’s something I would never do. I can’t even find one. If I was looking, that is. People can live the way they want. Who am I to judge?!

One final good quality I have is that I know how to do many different things. I might not be good enough at it, but I’m versatile. I have studied many things. Most of them are creative. People might think I don’t know what I want. The truth is, I do, but I don’t know what I should focus on. I want to do so much, but I’m also indecisive, which is also a bad quality of mine. What I do best is writing. I used to want to do something that I could use that skills. I didn’t want to become an author like people thought when I said I wanted to write. I can hardly finish a fanfiction story, so how could I finish a book. I thought I wanted to become a journalist, but I wasn’t good at writing news or doing interviews. I have always written something. Diaries, stories in school etc. Writing as a hobby was good enough for me. I discovered blogging and real person fan fiction, and here I am. I love writing in English. When I try to write in Finnish or Swedish, I don’t get any ideas. Since English is an international language, it gets more readers. I was very good at it in school too.

Bloganuary: Repost.Laughter here and laughter there

Repost for day 7 in Bloganuary.
smilie haystack

I wrote about laughter before back in 2014 so this is kind part 2 of that. Find it here. Besides writing, laughing is a good medicine for my mental health. I love laughing. I can’t get enough of old comedies like Frasier or The Golden girls. I also love British humour. The old stuff mostly. I don’t only like comedy but also humour in general. Even in action movies, some humour is good. Not hilarious but funny moments. The reason I love Guardian of the galaxy is for the humour. Even in Thor. Some say the humour in Ragnarok was unnecessary but I think that’s what makes it so good. It’s definitely not a movie for humourless people.

It doesn’t take much for me to laugh. Even making funny faces makes me full of laughter. It’s not how things are said, it’s about how they’re said. Humour it’s not only about how to tell a joke. It’s so much more. It’s about witty remarks and even sarcasm. I absolutely loved House MD, you know with Hugh Laurie. I still laugh when I see quotes from the TV show. Again, it’s not about what he said, it’s about how he said it and Laurie’s facial expressions were priceless. That’s what made it such a great show. I usually don’t go for black comedy but some are good. Like Fargo, the movie.

So laughter is a good remedy for everyone. It might not make your life longer but at least you have a good time. Without humour, life would be full of sorrow and that’s not very nice, is it?

Repost: What I value in friendships

friendships
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I’m old enough to know what I value in friendships. I haven’t been that lucky with that. From my past experiences, I’ve learned what I don’t like in a friend. I’ve written about friendships before on this blog. You can find a few links about it at the end of this post. I have a few precedents of it, so I know what I’m talking about.

The most important thing is honesty. A person who pretends to be my friend and then find someone else has no place in my life. I had a friend in school like that. There were days when she chose that other girl to spend her time with. I was just a substitute when she had a disagreement with the other one. With honesty, I don’t mean you should judge someone by the way they dress or something like that. Honesty is telling you they have another friend and not pretending they want to be your friend. I rather be told they don’t want to spend time with me than being ignored. It hurts more than honest words. If someone doesn’t want to be my friend, they shouldn’t pretend to be so. Fake friends are easy to find. It’s the honest ones you have to search for with cats and dogs. If you had bad experiences of friendships, it’s no wonder you don’t want to get close to anyone or let people in your life.

I value respect in a friend. Someone who accepts you for who you are. A true friend doesn’t tell others how to dress or trying to look a certain way. Friends should respect others opinions and don’t start a fight over something they don’t agree with. We can’t always agree, but you shouldn’t stop being a friend because they don’t agree with you. They shouldn’t talk crap behind your back. A true friend doesn’t makeup rumours. I don’t know if my so-called friends made up some rumour, and frankly, I don’t care. They had no respect for me because if they did, they wouldn’t have ignored me. A friend who spreads rumours is no friend. Maybe their own life is so empty, so they have to make up things. Respect is also about supporting a friend in their life choices. If it’s about careers or relationships. A friend doesn’t put you down and saying you’re doing it wrong or you don’t have what it takes. Being supportive is true friendship.

Trustworthiness is important in any relationship. If you can’t trust a friend, you can’t really be a real friend. I don’t remember if I ever told anyone a secret, but that’s not the only way to lose trust in a person. If a friend pretends to be a friend but still doesn’t have any respect for you, you can’t confide in that person with anything. The risk can be that the person tells the other friend what you have told your friend. So you keep things to yourself instead. Once you lose trust in a person, it’s difficult to get it back. Sometimes it’s lost for good. It’s better to find new friends than trying to get the trust back. I’m happy I didn’t need to have these people in my life. I went to a Finnish Swedish school, and when I got a Finnish only school, I didn’t see the old classmates anymore. I haven’t had any problems like this in my adult life. I’m just more careful when it comes to friendships.

I don’t deny my past experiences haven’t affected my life because they have. It hasn’t made me weaker, though. Actually, it’s the opposite. The problem is not about trusting people. It’s about finding someone who has the same interests. Or at least have something in common with. I haven’t found anyone like that in real life. They always seem to be on a different wavelength than me. A true friend is someone you can confide in. They don’t judge you, and you can say anything to them without having to worry; they don’t want to continue the friendship. When I meet new people, I always have to think before speaking so I don’t say too much. I wish I wouldn’t need to worry about that. Since I never had a friend who stands by me no matter what happens, I don’t really know what that’s like. Maybe I find that kind of friendship when I’m really old. Friendships don’t see age. In life, you never know. A friend can appear from anywhere. In this case, patience is a virtue.

Old posts of friendship
Partner in crime
Nothing on the horizon
Hey, fake person

Originally posted: Published 2018/06/25 at 9:52 pm