Tag: about me

Notable by a few

Mia1 Comment

underground signI’ve never been a person who seeks attention. I’m always in the shadows looking out. I guess it’s because I’m shy. But I’m also an introvert. We don’t like being in the spotlight. I don’t even see a reason for it. I only want to be notable by a few. When I was a child I didn’t want to join groups. My mother took me to a gym class but I didn’t join the other kids. My sister was the opposite. Her hobby was gymnastics and she loved it. I didn’t feel comfortable around others. I was quite sensitive too. Even my own parents didn’t understand why. I’m just built that way. I still prefer doing things alone because then I get things done the way I’ve planned it.

I want to keep my independence. What I fear the most is losing my freedom. It would take a really special person to tide me down and I don’t see that happening. Even then I would still want to have my independence. A lot of people want to be dependent on others. They want to find companionship because they don’t want to be alone. That’s why they desperately use dating services and such. I could be wrong though. But I have standards and very picky. I actually like being alone. Life is so much more than relationships. Everyone isn’t cut for that. Some are meant to be alone. Rather that than wasting time on the wrong person. Besides, there are so many things I haven’t done yet. Another person would just be in the way.

It seems it’s a requirement to be noticed by other people. If you’re not showing your face on every social media platform, your chances are low. It goes with job search, getting friends or even getting followers on your blogs etc. On Pinterest, there’s a lot of these tips how to get followers on social media. How to sell your brand to other people. Since when have humans become products anyway. The whole concept of branding feels so alienating to me. I can’t brand myself. I want to be a nobody. I don’t want to be notable that much. I want to be notable for my writing and the things I do. By some that are. I don’t want to be famous. If I wanted to brand a business, it would be different. But now they want you to be a brand in job search too. Soon there is no room for reserved and quiet people. In job interviews, you have to be the actor/actress but without a script. I’m acted on stage before but then I knew what to do or say. I can’t be pretentious in real life. I’m not that good. My talents lay elsewhere. I rather miss an opportunity than pretend to be someone else.

People who like being notable, they should be allowed to do so. But don’t expect everyone wanting that much attention. We’re not all the same and we don’t want to be either. Being notable by a few should be enough.

Authentic is better than fake

Mia3 Comments

Authentic sign

What I hate the most about people are the fake ones. Those who pretend to be your friend but as soon as you have problems, they leave. I never really had true friends. I had classmates I got along with but I never had a best friend who I could talk anything about. I had this friend in kindergarten and 1st year in school but then she moved to another city with her family. She could be my best friend. I was a bit upset she had to move so when she called, I didn’t want to talk to her. I doubt we would be friends now. She probably already have a family etc. so we wouldn’t have nothing in common. I don’t know why people don’t want to get to know me in real life. I’m authentic and don’t want to hurt anyone on purpose. I might be alone but I’m not lonely. There is a difference. If I suffered from it, things would be different.

I don’t want to pretend something I’m not. I’m not an actress who plays a role.  A lot of people post selfies of themselves for example but I don’t want to be like everyone else. I’m not gonna become extroverted because that’s what the society wants. Introversion shouldn’t be something embarrassing. We could spread awareness because there is too much negativity about it. Everybody can’t be talkative. It’s a shame being fake is more important than being authentic. Looking at tips on how to be in job interviews, they insist for you to act like you’re not you. You should be yourself but yet don’t be. The reason I fail in social situations is that I can’t act to be talkative. I shouldn’t need to say so much if I have nothing to say. People just have to accept I give short answers. I’ve never met anyone who’s on the same wavelength as I am so I don’t know how it feels to have a bosom pal. If it doesn’t click, it doesn’t click. I would rather be alone than having fake friends.

What you see it what you get. Being authentic is better than fake. There are too many people who don’t dare to be different because they’re told to be like anyone else. They rather follow the crowd than being judged. If that’s the way you want to live, then so be it. But I don’t want to. I want to be the person I am. Maybe that’s my way to rebel again the world. I’m not a follower but I’m not a leader either. I want to follow my own path. Everyone should have the right to choose their own ways without having to fake it. Not having those people around has made life much easier to live. Life is too short to have fakes around. Authentic people are the best and I’m glad I’ve met people like that in real life too.

So where is my Genie?

Mia3 Comments

genie and bottle

Life ain’t easy but it shouldn’t be this hard. Things that come easy for some, doesn’t mean it will happen to you. If it’s love or getting a job. You often see how someone has got lucky and they brag about it like it was so easy. It’s like they’ve rubbed a lamp and the genie comes out. It’s good for them but why would others really care. It only brings jealousy in others. Some can be happy for them but that doesn’t make things better for others. Not everyone is as lucky as them. So where is my genie?

I think mine has a life sentence in jail because I’ve never been that lucky. Sure, my things are better than for some but it could be better. It’s easy to feel sorry for yourself and think about things you don’t have. I wish there would be a parallel universe where everything you want will go like planned. I could get the guy I want and the job I want. There it wouldn’t matter how you look and the society would be flawless.  In this life, you’re either lucky, not that lucky or really bad luck. I don’t believe in this you can make your own luck. You can’t choose who you meet or being in right place at the right time. You can’t make that kind of luck. You can’t even choose in which country you get born to. Even if you do live in a country with a lot of opportunities, nothing is certain. It was proven today again when the course of entrepreneurship ended that a few of the students got a job. It’s good for them and you can be happy for them. Maybe this isn’t luck but a few of them can start their entrepreneurship already and they even have clients. I’m not even close. I still only think about it. I’m worried my business will fail because I’m not lucky enough. It’s like in space where no one hears you scream. When it comes to jobs, no one ever offered me one. If I even shouted from the rooftop I’m looking for a job, no one would notice. Maybe I’m just being too pessimistic. But if you never really had that genie, you don’t believe anything good will ever happen.

I’ve taken part in many competitions to win products but I never won. Only once which was a box of candy/sweets when I was a child but that’s about it. I see no point in entering because I’ll never win anyway. The same with everything else. If someone asked what is my greatest achievement, there isn’t many. At least nothing to brag about. Wishing good luck to me isn’t really helpful because I never have. My genie must in the parallel universe because it isn’t in this one.