Post title from ‘All you need is now’ by Duran Duran
When I think about fluff I think about fan fiction with no special plot. My life is a bit like fluff. I have my moments but I don’t have a special goal to achieve. I just live for the moment. Don’t ask me what I’ll do in 5 or 10 years since I don’t even know what I’ll be doing tomorrow. I can have plans what I want to do but it takes time before I even try. I guess it’s because what has happened in my life. Unexpected deaths in the family and my school years. I don’t want to think about the future. I’ve had more downsides than upsides so I’ve learned not to expect too much. Life is a mystery and I don’t want any surprises I haven’t waited for. Sometimes I lose faith in me and other people. It’s easier to live for the moment. Less you expect things, less disappointed you will be.
I don’t compare my life with others. I want to be an individual who doesn’t walk the same path other people do. There was a time I wanted things other people had but now I’m happy the way things are. I could always be happier though. Having a job I really like doing is one thing. I also want to see places without having to think I can’t afford it. Money doesn’t make you happy but it’s always nice to have it. I’m totally fine with what I am and I don’t need anyone’s approval. Like I wrote yesterday in One Line Sunday. I’m grateful for what I have. My life is fluff and I don’t need a special plot to keep going.
Everyone has an identity. We’re all one of a kind. There is no one like us. Some people want to change you but everyone should respect other people the way they are. You don’t have to like a person but you shouldn’t tell them how they should live. You can’t change the way you are and no one should tell you what to be. Negative people shouldn’t be around you. They only bring you down. You can change a person way of thinking by giving them guidance. It’s up to the person to take it or not. There is a lot of issues in the world and only awareness can change attitudes. No one is perfect. Everyone has flaws and we should all accept them. We can’t all like the same things or wear the same outfits. If there wouldn’t be different personalities, what a boring place this would be.
I’ve been taught to respect different kinds of people. Since I was a child, I become familiar with disabled people. I’ve even been friends with a few. Others might look at them strangely or have been afraid to approach them. But they’re like everybody else. They have own thoughts and they are smart. They just happened to be disabled. It’s not their fault they’re born that way. The same goes with people who have different sexualities or a different skin colour. They are people like everyone else. Yet, some people see differences as a bad thing. You can’t change something that people are born with. No one can stop being what they are. Attitudes can be changed towards other people.
Bullies usually bully someone who weaker than them. Someone who is different. Kids can be really cruel when it comes to differences. If parents don’t teach kids how to behave at home, they can’t know how to be with other people. If the parents have the same attitude toward people who are different then kids are gonna act the same way. As long as adults allow bullying, it’s gonna continue. Being bullied doesn’t build character and bullying doesn’t belong to childhood. It makes a person feel worthless and it will affect their whole life. Bullying doesn’t need to be physical. Words hurt even more. Bullies are the one with the problems. When they can’t get attention at home, they find it somewhere else. Kids are not the only one who bullies. Also in the working world but it’s not talked about as much as kids. Which is a shame since adults can be even worse. If kids continue bullying as adults, things have gone too far.
I wasn’t physically bullied but I haven’t really completely got without it. They were too cowardly to say anything to my face. It was alienating and whispering. It did affect me in a way that I didn’t trust people as much as before. But it didn’t make me think of myself as a failure. I became stronger mentally. I wouldn’t let these experiences spoil my confidence. When I read about bullying, it makes my blood boil. No one should go through this. I’m glad my childhood and youth are not now. On the internet, it’s so easy to stay behind a username and write nonsense to a person. I can’t even imagine how it is to be bullied online. There you can’t defend yourself. People don’t realise that you’re also a bully if you let it happen. The bystanders who are too afraid to tell the bullies to stop. My teacher knew there was something going on but she didn’t do anything about it. I was lucky I didn’t need to be in the class for many years. Some are bullied for years. The longer it happens, the more difficult it gets to get over it.
I am what I am and don’t try to change me. I’m totally fine the way I am. I’m never doing things what others tell me to do. I have a mind of my own. A few have tried to change me but they have failed. I’m not here to please people. I only care about those who deserve it. Life is too short to think about shallow things. It’s what on the inside that counts. If you take my identity away, I’m like everyone else. I dare to be different and so should many others.
Recently on The daily post in daily prompt, there’s been words that are kind of hinting. Words like Believe, Risky, Ascend, Loyal and now Brave. It’s like they are trying to tell me something. All of those words have a meaning when it comes to job search. You need to believe in yourself and be loyal to your goals. Without some risk you’ll won’t get far. You want to ascend to the next level of your life and not get stuck. Most of all you need to be brave and that’s where I lack it. Sometimes I do feel brave though. Like when I went to see Robbie Williams this summer. From my point of view that is a brave move. I didn’t back down like I usually do. I just took the chance and went. I’m not into big crowds but it wasn’t as bad as I thought. I ended up having a really good time. I wish I could be brave like that more often.
Back in 2015, I wrote a post about my job search. Some things have changed since then. Like the photography and job search campaigns thing. The latter I skipped altogether. When you looked through a lot of job ads, they’re soon coming out of your ears. I can understand why some unemployed think job search is useless. I hate the writing part where you have to explain yourself why you’re the one the employers are looking for. Especially when I have to write them in Finnish. My mother tongue is Swedish so it shines through in my writing. At least that’s what my web design teacher told me. I’ve always thought my Finnish writing was alright but now I feel insecure. Maybe the reason why I haven’t got even an interview is because of the writing. I have got into education despite that so it can’t be it. Finnish is not the easiest language so it’s not that easy for Finns either. If I keep looking to work for someone else, all my skills I’ve learned so far will go to waste. Honestly, I’m getting fed up with this whole job search thing. The gaps in my work experience are probably too high but at least I wasn’t totally lazy. I did have those clients when I studied web design so I do have some experience in the field.
I don’t really know what to call myself anymore. Yesterday I did something I didn’t think I would do. I applied for an education for a graphic designer in the same school where I studied a photographer degree, Helsinki Design School. Applying doesn’t do any harm. If I don’t get in, it doesn’t matter. I’m still looking for work and if I did find one, I could still go to school. Some say this school is a joke and that the degrees don’t mean anything. Even though I didn’t get a job in photography, I still experienced things I wouldn’t normally do. Employers might not see the degrees worthwhile but in the end, it’s the skills of people that matter. I think in Finland, certificates are too important. Especially in design. There are different ways to educate yourself and you don’t need to go to fancy schools to learn. Jealousy is a problem in Finland. If you have taken a simpler route to design, you get the look you’re not good enough. They don’t say it out loud but you know they mean it.
I see younger people’s work in design and I feel I’ve no chance in the business. I feel like Chandler Bing in Friends when he changes jobs and he started to work in advertising where all these young people worked. He felt so old and thought he didn’t have a chance. In the end, he did get a job there as a manager or something like that. In real life, you can’t get a job that easily if you have no experience or education. Employers are so into thinking about the future so they hire younger people. But how much do these 20 something know anything about life anyway? Of course, they should also get a chance but experienced shouldn’t be disregarded either. I wish I had the power to hire unemployees who’s been rejected for different reasons. But that’s too much for one person to handle. Being the employer is no piece of cake either.
As for what to call myself. I want to do something more than just designing websites. I wonder what people think of long job titles. How about web designer/photographer/graphic designer. Just designer doesn’t say much. It still feels weird to call myself a designer. They say you should stand out of from the crowd and that is it. I can do more than just one thing. The whole standing out is a bit strange. Aren’t we all a bit different in some way? I for sure hope there’s no one like me out there. I couldn’t handle two of me. At least I have been brave enough to be different and not walk the same path other people expect me to. I’m going all the way and it doesn’t matter what others think. Always follow the path you’ve chosen. That’s what I call bravery.
Everyone has an 
In my world 