Repost: Green with envy

green with envy
Made in Canva

Envy is one of the seven sins, but it’s also something you feel when you see someone succeeding better than you. There is good envy, and there’s bad envy. I don’t think I’ve ever had that bad envy feeling. I can be happy for another person. There is no point in fighting against something you know you’ll never win. It’s better to concentrate on your own things. You should stop comparing yourself to others, no matter how hard it might be. Some things are not meant to happen, and some things might happen later.

What makes me most green of envy is creative talents like illustrators and graphic designers. Even professional photographers. They make it look so easy even if it’s not. If I practised more, I could get better at it, but there are so many other things to do so I don’t have time. At the job I’m doing right now, there isn’t any photography. We use photos from Pixabay or any other photography place. Maybe I get to do that someday. I’m not that excited about taking photos like I was a few years ago. On dull days at work, I wish I was somewhere else. Mondays and Tuesdays are quiet, so I could be doing something else. I wonder why I even bother waking up early.

I’m green with envy when I read about how someone has started a creative business after their education. Like in Helsinki Design School. I’m both envious and admire their courage. Their work is good too. I feel like an amateur when it comes to coming up with ideas and how to make them a reality. I haven’t really done any graphic design since school in 2019. I don’t have enough confidence to start something on my own. Instead, I have to work somewhere else. But maybe this is a learning process. I get used to working with others and maybe learning something new on this journey. But right now, it feels like I won’t make it 8 months in this current job. Especially when I have to wake up early. I would rather stay in bed and start working when I feel like it. I made my bed, and now I have to lie in it.

Some might be green with envy of me, but they shouldn’t because we all got our strengths, and we should use them to help those who don’t have the same skills. Everyone can’t do everything, and it’s meant to be that way.


Adding to this old post on May 31, 2022. Some might feel a little envious that I will see Duran Duran in concert on Thursday, and on my birthday. Also, some might envy Finland for becoming world champions in ice hockey on home turf, and therefore breaking the curse. The end.

Untitled blog post title

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Most people probably write on their blogs about this coronavirus but I will only say. I’m free from work until March 30 because the workplace is closed. Unless it changes. So in a way, it’s the same when I didn’t have a job. I could do something useful but why bother. Sleep is what I need and I wake up when I feel like it. I still get paid. I’m just gonna take advantage of this break. I’m glad I don’t need to wake up early for a while.

I didn’t have anything else to say in this post so stay safe and stay healthy.

My short-lived excitement

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When I feel the excitement of something it’s usually short-lived. I don’t know why. Maybe because my mind is all over the place. I’m never doing things with a passion. I have so many things I like so it’s difficult to choose just one to concentrate on. I get excited about one thing and then I realise it’s not what I want so it dries out. In some things, I get the excitement back after a break. One of them is reading. I got excited about getting a library card and read books. But now my excitement for book reading has calmed down. I have one book to read but I haven’t finished it yet even though there’s not much left. It’s the English version of ‘The Hobbit’ I have the Finnish version of it and I read it in about 3 days and I have already read it twice. I don’t why this one takes so long to read. I already renewed it once. I read one chapter yesterday. I guess I’m just a slow book reader and I get distracted a lot.

Having a short-live excitement is the worse when it comes to deciding what job to do. Photography was on my agenda for a long time. Until I studied it in 2014-2015 and realised I didn’t want to do it as a living. I got excited for web design and then graphic design but now it feels like I’m indifferent about that too. Even becoming an entrepreneur entered my mind but now the excitement isn’t the same. It’s still a backup plan though. I applied for a job that isn’t in my field but it seems that won’t happen either. It seems destiny is denying me to become anything. It gives and takes it away straight away.

One proof of my excitement being short-lived is writing this blog post. When I started writing it about 2 hours ago, I had full of ideas but now I don’t know what to write. All of that excitement is gone and it will stop right here.