When the anticipation turns to disappointment

crowded sea with different sea life drawing
When you get to a place where you think you’re the only one there, ©Mia Salminen 2020

I’m back to blogging again. Even if it’s has become a short blog post. At least this one is. So the job ended on Monday (October 26) The rest of the contract were holidays. Not the going somewhere kind though. I’m actually relieved I can wake up late again. Going to a job was great but I think I got everything I wanted from there. The contract was shorter because of the coronavirus. I’ve got some more job experience which was one of my goals. If I was offered to continue at the place I wouldn’t have wanted. I really didn’t get things from the job I wanted. The waking up early and going to work was too much to do more than I had to. I was always so tired after work. I really don’t know how someone can have a part-time business while working at a full day job. I was dead tired afterwards and it was only a part-time job. The workplace wasn’t really far but still, it was quite stressful to go there every morning. Even with the bus. I can’t take that for long. Especially when there were days at work where there was nothing to do.

During the job the anticipation was good. I was glad I got something to do. But then it turns to be a bit disappointing. I really didn’t get to do my own things. Things had to be done in a certain way. Written in a certain way and so on. I couldn’t express myself the way I expected. It wasn’t the workplace fault though. It’s just the way workplaces work. I wanted to be more independent but now I had to do what they wanted me to do. I didn’t dare to do anything without asking if I did things right. So the job was good while it lasted but I wouldn’t want to go back to that anymore. It was time to move on. I don’t know what yet but it won’t be searching for a job for a while.

The yada yada yada post

old typerwriter and yada yada yada
Made in Canva

Having a job does take a lot of energy. Especially the waking up thing. Being a night owl and trying to get to bed early is a lot of yada yada yada. I haven’t had the time or the energy to blog. I should actually take a nap and yada yada yada. I’m so much in front of a computer at work so I rather stay away from it at home. I write this now so you don’t think I forget about you. Or some other yada yada yada thing.

There are still 48 days left of my job contract and honestly, I’m already counting the days. It’s not that I don’t like being there. A job is a job, like my mother used to say. If the people I’m working with wasn’t as nice and yada yada yada I wouldn’t want to go there at all. I just want more or at least not this. I feel the job is holding me back. I’m not able to be as creative as I want to be. There are certain looks and rules to follow. Is this really what I’ve studied, I think. Sometimes there is nothing to do. Those days I wonder is it really worth going. I could just stay home and sit there. At least I can talk to my colleagues which makes the days go faster. Then other days are busy. Today was one of the slow days. I made a piece of notification for an event for the bulletin board and yada yada yada.

karaoke ad
©Mia Salminen 2020

I actually miss the days when I didn’t have to wake up early. I wish I could have a job where I could have an own schedule and yada yada yada. I don’t want to think about anything serious now.