Reinstall my life choices

pause and reset on mobile screen
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If I could reinstall something in my life, it’s the choices I’ve made. But you can’t go back. You can only live in the present. I don’t regret things, but I wish I could have done things differently. One of them is about occupations. I wish I had known earlier what I wanted to do. I was so into thinking about it, I missed things other people did. I shouldn’t have lived in the bubble. I was too worried about the things that could go wrong. I wished I had been brave. Now I will probably be alone with nobody around me. I could quickly become a recluse. I could live in a place where there are no people around. But I wouldn’t want to be there all the time. I’m a city person, so I need to see other people. I’m not a green thumb, so I couldn’t grow my own food or have a garden. I don’t even change the soil in my late mother’s plants.

Sometimes I think maybe I should have to reinstall my blogging path. Write about something more popular. But that can be changed at any time. I’m not very good at that advice-giving thing that seems to be in many blogs. I also don’t want to be like any other blog. I’m only blogging for fun. It wouldn’t be as fun if I did it for a living. It’s a lot of stress to think about blog subjects. So I wouldn’t want to reinstall my path in blogging. That wouldn’t be me anymore. I don’t want to reinstall myself. I like the way I am. I’ve come this far, and I want to move on. This blog is part of me, and if I reinstalled it, I would also reinstall me. I can not let that happen, do I?  

Everything but spartan

soap bubble with text on it
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I’m one of those people who feels most at home in my comfort zone. I’m everything but spartan. I like comfort and it takes a lot from me to get out of my bubble. Even introverts should get out of their comfort zone but it takes a lot for me to do so. I don’t easily try new things. It should be enough that I actually get out of bed every day. Especially now when it’s October, a bed is the best place to keep warm. But you have to go out sometime.

I both dislike and like routine. In the morning, or when I wake up, I like doing the same things. When it comes to work or education, I like it to be different from time to time. I like surprises too. I get bored so I need stimulation. I also learn things in practice. I hate reading so I never went to high school. In Finland it’s voluntary. I’ve never done anything out of the ordinary. I’m not impulsive either. I think probably a bit too much. I could do a lot of things if it could be done in the comfort of my own home. The other part of me wants to be around other people. I don’t want to be completely isolated. What is happening in the world, my little bubble looks more tempting. Besides, what is so wrong with people’s comfort zones that they need to step out of it? Maybe their goal in life is to experience as many things as possible before the time runs out. Mine is getting through the days and filling it with things that make me most comfortable. In some things, I wish I could be braver. If I was I would probably have achieved something more.

I think what has happened in my life has had an effect on a lot of things. The way I’m careful with my choices, for example. It’s easy to tell someone to do something if they haven’t experienced what the other has. Forcing a person to do something they’re not comfortable with isn’t the right way. The same by saying, do not just talk, do it. That’s not helpful at all. It just brings more anxiety. If you try to hurry things, nothing good will come of it. I’m everything but spartan but if you let me do things in my own time, I might get out of that so famous comfort zone.