The worst feeling in the world is jittery. I used to hate it, but as the years have gone by, I’m not as jittery as I was when I was younger. I still don’t like giving speeches or talking in front of a big crowd. Talking to strangers is easier the older you get. You don’t have anyone who could speak for you. If you’re worried about talking to people, you don’t get anything done. I thought I would never get over my jittery when I was a child and a teenager. Even when I went to the store, I wanted to leave there as soon as possible. The more I interacted with other people, the less jitter I felt. Life experiences also make you feel confident and care less about what others might think about you. I still get jittery when I should call a stranger on the phone, and that’s something I should work on. I’m worried they won’t get the message I want to say, and things won’t happen as they should. That’s one of the reasons why I prefer writing an email. But you need to call on the phone for certain things.
Life is easier when you don’t feel jitter, but a little jitter isn’t bad. Everyone can feel it at first. Even people in the public eye might feel jitter in their stomachs before a speech or standing in front of an audience. No one has died of jittery. It doesn’t matter if we make mistakes. We’re human and not perfect. It’s not the end of the world if you screw up. Next time, you can do better. Besides, no one really cares if you make mistakes, and they might not even notice. Things feel much better once you no longer have that negative jitter in your stomach.
Today is Finland’s Independence Day! It’s been over 100 years, and let’s hope it stays that way. There are many good things here, and I’m lucky to have been born in this country. Some things aren’t functional, but there are more positive than negative things. One is that you can see wild animals in nature and cities. Besides birds, you can see hedgehogs, foxes and white-tale deer. I’ve seen all of them and a fox several times. Once, a fox walked past me on the street.
I first saw a moose when I was a small child. I was probably 3 or 4 years old. We had a summer place then, and I was in a tub with water in the yard. Suddenly, I started screaming, and my parents wondered what was going on. A little further away, a moose with a big horn walked past. For a kid, it’s a scary thing. The moose was only walking by, so there was no danger. When the forest is near, you can see such things. Dad was filming the whole thing on Cine film at the time without sound, which is why I remember it and what my parents told me. I haven’t seen a moose after that. There aren’t many of them around where I live. There are more white-tail deer around, and I’ve seen many of them.
On Independence Day, I will light two candles, and that’s as far as my celebrations go. I don’t care about some ball from the president’s castle shown on TV yearly. It’s too dull for my taste. I prefer doing something else. It’s all about what the invited guests are wearing. They could dress in a plastic bag, but I still wouldn’t care. I can appreciate Finland’s independence in some other way. I’m not less of Finn if I don’t watch some ball. After all, it’s a free country, and we’re allowed to celebrate our way. That’s what independence means to me.
What alternative career paths have you considered or are interested in?
Daily Writing Prompt
You might have a dream job when you’re a kid, but it changes as you age. Some people know what they want to be and stick to it from the start. In some way, I envy those people. It’s a good envy. My mind is more complex than that. I have a leak in my career path because I keep changing my mind. When I was 6, I wanted to be a baker because I liked to help Mum in the kitchen. Later, I realised baking is fun, but cleaning and waking up early isn’t. I bake occasionally but wouldn’t want to do it for a living. I also can’t do a job where you must always wash your hands. Wearing rubber gloves isn’t good either. You could say I have an education path, not a career one, because I don’t have enough job experience.
When I finished compulsory school, I had to apply for further education. My educational advisor suggested healthcare studies, but I didn’t want to apply. My mother said I should start somewhere, so I did. The education was for a year, but it seemed longer than that. I was 17, my first time living away from home. I only went home at the weekend. My mother was right; I should start somewhere because I could have been an outcast youth if I hadn’t. After primary school, it is good to have a further plan. I was lucky to have people who helped me decide what to do next. As a teenager, you don’t know yourself the way you do when you become an adult. I’ve been to two schools that I didn’t finish.
One was business school, and the other was photography. I didn’t like economic education for two reasons, Math and awful schoolmates. Photography education wasn’t fun either. It was at the beginning of the 2000s, and digital cameras weren’t that common. The teacher was all about film and refused to teach us about digital photography. I didn’t understand film development with all the different liquids. It was too complicated for me. The only thing I liked about the school was my roommate and the chance to use Photoshop in the computer room. The trip to the school wasn’t fun either. First, take the bus and then walk about 3 kilometres. I was only there for 3 or 4 months and then quit. My mother said I gave up too quickly, and in a way, I still do. I didn’t know what I wanted to be, and that’s the easy part.
I have considered different career paths. As a teen, I wanted to be a singer for a moment because I liked to sing along to songs I liked. Then, I thought I would want to work for a radio station or in a fan club. I even applied for a dance education, which luckily was cancelled. I don’t know what I was thinking with that. I didn’t even like school discos. I applied for the dance one after I finished my healthcare education. I was very restless when I was a teenager. I wanted to live in England because my favourite band, Take That, lived there and you could study English there for 3-4 months. I also wanted to see some other places than Finland. My mother didn’t want me to live there, maybe because we didn’t have the money to send me there. She didn’t even want to pay for a concert ticket when the band was here. The older I got, the less I wanted to live abroad. I’ve always been a homebody; I didn’t stay out late at night as a teenager. I had no friends anymore with whom to spend time anyway. I liked spending time with my parents and spending quality time with them. I didn’t have a reason to go out. They supported me in any occupation I chose.
I never really had a career path. It’s challenging to have anything when you concentrate on what you want to do for a living. Even if my mother was dying, she always worried about if I would find a job. She had been unemployed, so it was understandable she didn’t want the same thing for me. But it’s been inevitable these days because there are only jobs in places where I don’t have an education. I have never wanted to do only one thing. I like being versatile. Once, I thought about becoming a screenplay writer because I enjoy writing and have studied writing. But it’s hard work and an unstable job. I can’t even finish the fan fiction I write. A career in movies and TV would be an exciting career path. But it’s a complex business to get into. It would be different if I was younger, and I would have time to start something different. I have studied creative things, so I want to combine them.
I found what I wanted to do, but since I don’t have the experience, I don’t get a chance to work anywhere. They all want job experience but don’t even provide internships for people like me. They’re all for young people who study. My resume has too many leaks. Studying doesn’t mean a squat if you don’t get the chance to work in the field you studied. All I get offered are jobs that aren’t moving my career further. If I was younger, those jobs would be OK. I’m seriously thinking about becoming an entrepreneur. I have already taken courses in social media to promote myself. I just don’t know if any of it will get me clients, but it doesn’t happen overnight. Maybe I will finally get that career I’ve been looking for and end to the leak.
In my world 