All you need is now

Made in Canva

I’m a master of putting thing off for tomorrow. That’s one of the reasons why I’m always far behind others. But why should I need to hurry? All you need is now and not what might come in the future. I rather do things later. People who stress about things have no joy in life. I never liked doing things in a hurry. It only gets me irritated. I like taking my time. If I don’t get things done then I don’t. I don’t stress about it.

A lot of people stress about Christmas. I’m not really into doing all that food and stuff like that. This year I have to stay at home. There is no Christmas cruise this time. At least not for a longer period of time. When mother was alive we used to make Christmas together. It’s not the same anymore. Even when she was around, we took the cruise because it was easier. This year it’s the first time in years, we’re home at Christmas. I haven’t even put the decorations up yet. We haven’t had a real tree in years. A small plastic tree from my grandmother is enough. Even if we were on a cruise, we still had decorations up. It feels more like Christmas then. It’s just those 3 days and then the New Year fuss begins again. Even that is different this year. There won’t be fireworks in the city. Only people who bought them. I don’t care much about that. They should ban the whole thing. Too much noise anyway.

I have put off job search for this year too. There is no joy in that. I want to do things I feel joy from and that is not it. I have had other things on my mind. One of them is helping dad at his home. He now walks with a walker and he got some exercise things to do. But maybe he’s trying to procrastinate for doing them. He will never get better if he doesn’t do them regularly. It’s not just his right hip but also his left side shoulder. I really hope he won’t keep falling over next year because it costs money to be ill. His legs are not the way they used to because of type 2 diabetes. He’s a former athlete but I guess you get lazy when you get older when it comes to exercise. Of course, now it’s much more difficult since he can’t walk the same way as before. Hell, even I don’t exercise enough recently and I’m totally healthy. Walking and cycling is my kind of exercise. I have put off with long-distances. The weather hasn’t been very pleasant recently.

I have been putting off blogging this month too. It’s probably gonna be the quietest month this year. I just haven’t had the time and joy to write anything. I have even put off writing fan fiction. I can get those things done next year because, well, there is always next year. In case I don’t blog this year anymore. Have a happy Christmas and a better 2021.

The aftermath of 2019

horizon in car side window
Made in Canva

Christmas holiday is over. I and dad went to Tallinn, Estonia. The trip went well. There was Christmas entertainment on the cruise ship and on Christmas Day we took a walk to the town. Luckily the weather wasn’t rainy as it was last year. We ate so much on the ship so we wouldn’t need to eat at all for a few days. So after buying bags full of candy/sweets, it’s back to normal again.  The year is soon over and it’s time to do the aftermath of the year 2019. For me, it was quite eventful which isn’t every year. So let’s get started before I forget.

In April we went to Playa Del Inglés in Canarian Islands. A story I still haven’t finished so sorry about that. I don’t even know how much I remember from the trip anymore. I’m a bit lazy when it comes to writing about trips and editing photos. I think I still have those photos in my memory card. So far I’ve only written 2 parts.
Part 1
Part 2
Other things have occupied my mind so I haven’t remembered to write the next part. I might finish it next year. Let that be one goal of mine in 2020.

Then not so good things. I came back from Helsinki where I studied graphic design. When I got home from the bus, I tripped and fell on my face. I cracked two of my front teeth. What upset me the most was the lack of help I got when I laid there on the payment. One young guy just walked by and didn’t even look my way. So much for Finnish hospitality. I had to get up myself. It hurt like hell and my nose got scratches as well. Luckily I had a tissue to I could stop the bleeding. I had to call my dad to take me to the emergency room. Then I had to wait in the waiting room for ages before I got an icepack for my upper lip. I’ve never felt so uncomfortable in my life. Then I had to wait for the doctor for hours. They fixed my teeth at least with a temporary filling. Before that, I looked like an ice hockey player. Become of this accident I had to skip school and I couldn’t eat or drink properly for weeks. Luckily my nose wasn’t broken because that would have been even worse. Now my teeth are fixed and back to normal. But it was an experience I never want to go through again.

Then the graphic design education in Helsinki Design School ended. I wouldn’t say I graduated since I’m not officially a graphic designer. At least not in my own mind. I’m glad at least for getting through the education. The thing that I feel really sorry about was that I had to skip a day when they taught web design. I’ve already studied it but it would have been interesting to see how the teacher we had taught the class. Every teacher teaches differently. The other thing was my portfolio presentation. I didn’t get the feedback that could have helped me in the future because of my screw up. I wouldn’t say the education was a waste of time because I did get something out of it. But it didn’t give me any hope of working in the graphic design field. Actually, it made me feel even worse about my skills. Now I’m here wasting my time and the things I learned in this school is slowly fading away from my mind. Just like with the web design education. When the motivation is low you don’t feel like practising your skills.

In the job search, things don’t look bright either. I applied to 2 jobs outside my field. I got one interview but that’s didn’t go anywhere. I got no reply for either of them so it means I didn’t get it. I also applied to a Recruitment Training program called DigiTalentPro but I wasn’t chosen for that either. I’ve heard negative reviews of the program so I’m not really sorry about it. It seems I only get one job interview every second year which isn’t much fun. I went to a job fair but I only went to listen to a couple of speakers. And one of them I met which I’m most proud of because I usually don’t approach celebrities that often.

This year we also went to Stockholm in Sweden. We lived in a hotel. Then I got Spotify Premium because I got tired of the commercials. Also, the microphone on my old mobile stopped working so I had to start using my dad old smartphone. Then I stopped using Instagram because my tablet is slow and I can’t download any Google Play apps on my phone. I tried to find a solution but nothing worked so decided to skip the whole thing. So that was the aftermath of my 2019. The only thing I know what’s gonna happen in 2020 is the concert of Elton John in September. And my yearly dentist appointment the next day. The rest is your guess is as good as mine.