Tag: Club Introvert

Repost: My life is not an open book

~ Mia ~ Leave a comment

Originally published on January 27, 2017

male hands holding an open book
©️Mia Salminen

What you see is what you get, doesn’t really apply to me. I have a filter that protects me from prying eyes. It’s not that I want to hide the real me from others but I’m an introvert and we’re careful. I’ve also learned to be careful from past experiences. At home I can be myself but in public, I’m reserved. I have thoughts some might not understand. My life is not an open book and I want to keep it private. If I open up to a person, it’s someone I trust. The only one who knows the real me, is myself. Not even my parents knew. They only knew what I was when I was younger. I’ve never told them I write this blog for example. Some things you just want to keep to yourself. You need to do it. If I told everyone everything about myself, the mystery would be lost. That’s what life should be about. If you know everything about a person then there’s no surprises. What kind of life would it be?

People post about what they do on social media. Some keep updating things they’re doing at that moment. Who they talk to and where they are. I find that boring. I don’t care what you ate, if you took a shower, baked a cake or went to a birthday party. I don’t care about what your friends are doing or who they got engaged to. That’s what I keep seeing on Facebook. On Twitter I have ‘only’ 6125 tweets in 7 years I’ve been there. I don’t tweet nonsense. From time to time I do post things I do but that’s not regularly like most people do. I’m not trying to make a world record of tweets. When I have something important to say, I tweet it. I also hate selfies. Every time someone post one, I totally ignore it. Especially celebrities. Like they weren’t enough in the public eye already. If I want to see photos of them, I look for real photos taken by pros. Since camera phones were invented people think they’re all photographers.

Everyone seems to want to be like everybody else. I don’t want to be like everyone. I have a natural filter and know what to tell about myself online. If you read my about page, you know why I don’t post private things. Everybody seems to write about that. I dare to be different. Even though I have Instagram, I don’t post there much. To be honest, I find it a bit boring. It’s just isn’t my thing. I was excited at first when I could finally join last year but now I’m not that much. I follow 14 different one’s and that’s fine. For example I follow @cutepetclub because there’s so many cuties in it. Pets that is. I like looking at other people’s posts but when it comes to posting myself, I’m not that keen anymore. Sometimes I just scroll without looking because let’s face it, what people post there is boring.

I don’t have the urge to get people’s attention and that’s the same in real life. One on one conversations is good enough for me. I get really uncomfortable if someone looks at me. I wouldn’t make Youtube videos because I feel uneasy in front of a camera. It was different when I was a kid. I was cute then. I leave those things to others. I don’t go after things because they’re popular. I’m not the victim of commercials. It’s easy to judge someone by the first impression but I’m more than what people see when they meet me. People give up too easily when they do. That’s one of the reasons I find it hard to meet new people. It’s really their loss and not mine. I’m proud of who I am and if I were someone else, I would be my friend. I always say I’m my own best friend because who knows me best than myself.

The unsociable parasite

~ Mia ~ 7 Comments

young lady sitting alone
Made in Canva

The blog post title doesn’t necessarily mean I think of myself of being the unsociable parasite. It’s more about what people might think of me. I’m not gregarious at all. I’m more of a loner. Sometimes I need interaction with other people but I can live without it. If I had a choice I would never leave the house. All I would need is a computer and an internet connection. But I don’t want to live my life like that. I also like being outside. I would seek for solitude in nature or even take a walk outside where I wouldn’t meet a single person. Big crowds only make me tired and stressed. Especially queues where people breathe down my neck.

In this loud world where people who like solitude and are unsociable are seen as parasites. Introverted people are needed as much as extroverted. We can’t all be the same. Being social doesn’t even mean talking. You can still be social by observing and listening to others. The problem with this world is not enough of listening. Everyone seems to be in a hurry. No one wants to share either. Not until disaster strikes then a lot of people want to be helpful. Social media is not much better. If you want advice no one gives you one. You don’t get any help from anyone. Or maybe it’s just me who doesn’t. I guess you need to have a lot of followers. If you want anything done, you have to do it yourself.

In the working life, the unemployed are seen as some kind of parasite. The longer you are out of work, the less you’re wanted. And even worse when you’re an introvert. I think that’s one of the reasons why I never had a real paid job. I don’t belong anywhere so, therefore, I’m a parasite. In the employer’s eyes that is. Last time I were anywhere it was in 2012 and that was only 2 weeks. There they said I wasn’t social enough. How would they know anyway? Well, it’s old news and I don’t dwell on that any longer. I don’t even feel like going anywhere in the morning. I’m not saying I will never look for a job again but it looks unlikely I will get any in 2020.

I wouldn’t want to be gregarious anyway because then I wouldn’t be who I am. I hate faking things which seems to be required in some cases. I’m also a bad actress and I can’t act social when I’m not. People would see right through me if I pretended to be talkative. If people think I’m the unsociable parasite then so be it. It’s not my concern because they don’t know me. I know from personal experience that some people don’t even bother getting to know you. They rely on stereotypes and live by that. Some get to know a person before they judge but I haven’t met one yet who does. If I have it was a long time ago. We shouldn’t ignore differences, we should welcome it. That’s how the world should work.

Networking is just another word for decorated

~ Mia ~ 2 Comments

colourful game pieces
Made in Canva

On Wednesday I went to a job fair. I went to listen to a few speeches and nothing else. One was about why there aren’t many females in ‘Information technology’ and the other was about knowing the right people. The rest of the speeches isn’t relevant to this post. What they had in common was networking. In my opinion, networking is just another word for decorated. You have to be “colourful” and be ready to come out of your shell. In other words, be something you’re not. They say you should be yourself but not exactly yourself. This is very difficult for a shy or introverted person. Especially when you should promote yourself about the things you’re good at. Especially females have this problem. We are too modest about our skills. Not everyone can do everything. Life is a learning process and things you can’t do, you can learn.

I don’t like networking and I wish there was a way to avoid human contact altogether when it comes to that. I also don’t like places with a lot of people gathering around in small spaces. I don’t like pretending I’m outgoing when I’m not. I didn’t talk to anyone at the job fair. Except when I met one of the speakers who’s a Finnish celebrity who works on TV. I wasn’t nervous at all when I met him. I wish I could walk to another stranger to introduce myself that easily. When I went to a job interview on Tuesday I wasn’t nervous either. But I never know what to say so I give short answers. Which is probably one of the reasons I don’t get anything. I also don’t know what to say what skills I have. At least not what could be useful in the job market. I can do a lot of different things but I’m not good at either of them. I’m just average.

In one of the speeches, it was said the worse thing that can happen is a no. But I’m not afraid of that because I’m used to it. The worse thing is when you think you hear a yes but then they change their minds. Or you have so much hope but then it’s smashed to pieces one way or another. Then you think why bother when you get nothing in return. That’s what networking is, disappointments and decorated shallowness. The only person who can succeed is someone who knows how to represent themselves. For other’s, it’s much harder. It’s quite sad how job search is more of a circus these days. It’s not only what you can do, but it’s also about what you could do for them. It’s not real, it’s a decoration and people don’t want to or can’t do anything to change that.