Like searching a needle in a haystack

needle in a haystack
Made in Canva

Another Monday and another week. That’s how life goes. Tomorrow it’s Tuesday and soon it’s weekend again. What to do during that week is like searching a needle in a haystack. It helps if you got a job or a school to go to. Or you have a family. Then you know what you’re gonna do. But if you have none of those things your life can be a bit boring. You read or hear you can do something about it but does it really work for everyone? Everyone isn’t born with a golden spoon in their mouth. Or have the courage to do just anything. Sometimes things don’t come to you no matter what. One of them is job search or applying to a school. A lot of people fall under the radar because they don’t get anywhere. Especially a young person should have something to do when they graduate from compulsory education. They need someone who can show them in the right direction. A parent or a professional instructor.

I’m very thankful for my mother and my instructor in 9th grade that I applied to something after school. I didn’t want to at first but now years later I’m glad I did apply. It was health care studies that lasted a year. In a way I’m been lucky by getting into these educations I applied for. Who knows what would have happened if I hadn’t. My resume would look a lot emptier. Unfortunately, my efforts have no value for others. At having done at least something isn’t good enough. You need to be superhuman to get a job it seems. It’s even harder if you’re an introvert. It’s discrimination if you ask me. You need to be outgoing, talkative and over positive. There is still a lot of myths about introverts that extroverts believe in. You would think in a country like Finland, an introvert would have it easier but it’s not. There’s a lot of assuming. People think you’re quiet all the time just because you gave short answers in a job interview or that you’re not talkative as soon as you meet a new person. The word anti-social should be taken out of the dictionary. It’s should be called selectively social. People who are on their phones are the ones who are anti-social. Some people don’t seem to understand that social doesn’t mean talkative. We can all be talkative if it’s a subject we know something about or have an opinion about. Being social is overrated. An introvert might be quiet but we’re not deaf. Multitasking is a skill that some people can’t master. So I think one of the reasons I’m not hired is because I’m an introvert. There can be other reasons too though.

What is also searching for a needle in a haystack is what to do for a living. I looked for that for years. I wish I could have known much earlier but no can do. I know now but I lack job experience. Why do people say how important education is? You don’t get a job like that. You need job experience. It’s easier if you’re in your 20’s but if you change careers at 40 something you don’t get anything. If you do you need luck and lots of it. Some people get burnouts from too much working and some can’t even find a job. It doesn’t make any sense but that’s life. For me, work isn’t the most important thing. Earning your own money is nice but that doesn’t bring you happiness. Doing what makes you most comfortable is. I rather have that then trying to be something I’m not just because the society expects me to. It will never happen so you better accept it.

Vital decisions for the future

job in the bible

Being unemployed sucks even if you get benefits and you get by somehow. But not having a job is no fun. Some people do everything right but yet they won’t get hired. Then for those who have succeeded to get a job, they think if they have then anyone can. Sorry to burst their bubble but everyone isn’t as lucky. It’s easy to tell others how to do things but finding a job is not like snapping your fingers. It’s great that people find jobs but that won’t help those who don’t.

I have to make vital decisions for the future. It’s not like my life depend on it though. It’s not that desperate. But it can’t go on like this forever. It’s already 3rd week of this year and I haven’t done anything. I have that studying thing which is next week again but that’s it. I should have something else too. I had a job suggestion in my email but I had no idea what the job was. I read it a few times and I still didn’t get it. It wasn’t the job I was looking for either. At least I’m not totally visible. Moving on. I found an internship place but it’s without pay. At least it’s closer to the subject I study now. In the application (which is online and in English) there’s this question I don’t know what to answer to.

Why would you be the best choice for the position(s)?

I tried to find answers to what you could answer to that question online but I didn’t find what I was looking for. I even asked on Twitter but as usual social media failed me again. I guess I’m left to my own advice again. Unless anyone who reads this has any suggestions? Something that could work. Just in general and not necessary to this application. Please, do comment if you want. I’m probably gonna find a solution to this problem before that. But still, I’m only asking.

The reason why I hate job search is questions like these. I never know what to reply so I don’t even bother applying. It’s so stressful. I’ve seen some funny memes on Pinterest about what to say in a job interview. But you can’t say those things in real life. One was, “Why should we hire you?” Answer, “Because you’re hiring?!” You really need to put yourself in the employer’s shoes. It can’t be easy for them either. They get a lot of applications and they have to choose who to ask for an interview. They must be really lucky if they find the right person for the job at first try. That’s why it’s so difficult for the job seeker to answer questions. You have to stand out but how do you know if you did stand out? Maybe someone gives the same kind of answer you do. There are so many tips online what to write in a job application. But then there are others who might have seen the same ones and uses that. Using tips you find online still doesn’t get you a job. It’s a jungle out there in the job search world.

Introverts nightmare, How to sell yourself? That sounds like prostitution. But that’s an “It” thing these days. “Elevator pitch” is a better word for it. But us Finns don’t talk in elevators. We stay quiet until we get out of it. Joke aside. No one ever stays long enough to hear me. As soon as they see me, they’re already judging me. Maybe not that easy though. I’m exaggerating a bit there. I can’t describe myself in 30 seconds. It takes less than that since I don’t know what to say. If I do it’s usually negative things but you can’t say that out loud. I’m not very good with words in general. It’s different when it comes to writing fiction. I wish I could use that in my daily life. It would be much easier if I could describe myself like Loki does in Avengers- Infinity war.

I, Loki, prince of Asgard… Odinson… the rightful king of the Jotunheim… god of mischief… do hereby pledge to you… my undying fidelity.

See, much easier. Mine would stop at my name and then a long pause. If it was being said out loud that it. If I had to reply by writing then I would have time to think.

I think I found out what to write to that internship application while writing this post. I write what when I have. But still, I would like to know what you would answer to this question. For any occupation. “Why would you be the best choice for the position(s)?”

A herd, an army, call it what you want

herd of giraffes in the horizon
Made in Canva

Ever felt you don’t belong in a certain group? Everyone seems to belong to a herd of some kind. If it’s hobbies, school or in a workplace. No one seems to have the same interest as you or you study something you’re interested in but still, it feels you don’t belong. You don’t how many times I felt like that. I don’t belong to any herd or army, call it what you want. I’m a loner but still, it would be nice to belong somewhere. Of course, there is always the internet but I’ll never find anything in real life where I could feel I belong. Internet in that sense is the greatest thing in the world. That’s a world I feel most comfortable with. Blogging is one of those things that I feel I’m a part of that herd. It still can a lonely business but that’s something I don’t suffer from. Alone but hardly lonely or how does the saying go.

When I was younger I felt like an outsider and I didn’t like the feeling at all. Now I don’t think about it. I don’t really care. I’m my own person and if you don’t like being by yourself, you’ll never learn how good it feels to be alone once in a while. When I feel I belong in a group, it still feels like I don’t belong. It’s because it’s usually only one thing I have in common with them and the rest is nothing. I’m old enough to know there is no point spending time with people who aren’t at the same wavelength as me. I will rather be alone than feeling bored with people I don’t feel connected to. I can talk to people but it won’t become friendships and I’m totally fine with that. The main thing is that I’ve finished my educations despite that.

I want to walk my own path and I don’t really need a herd. That’s what independence means. Doing things you like and not being forced to be or do something others expect you to. I don’t need a lot of people around me to be happy. That’s the introvert in me. Too much noise and too many people are stressful. In Helsinki Design School last time, I had to take a walk on the break because a lot of people were talking at once. It was a relief to go out and when I came back I felt more relaxed. I will never understand why people want to be in herds when you have to talk loudly to be heard. Pubs and clubs are places I want to avoid. It’s better to follow your own heart than do everything the herd do. If I want to join a herd I think long and hard if I want to follow it or not. But mostly I don’t and that should be absolutely fine for others.