Tag: Club Introvert

One on one vs Group talk

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Source: http://marketingland.com

Introverts understand that one on one is prefered better than a big group. Especially if there are extroverts in them who keep talking. It’s also very noisy if there are more groups than one. This is common in team work.

I don’t get it how some people can talk about anything that comes to mind. I always think before I speak because it’s a waste of time talking about nothing special. The best conversations are one on one, with a person you know something about. Even better if it’s with a person who likes the same thing as you. With total strangers it just feels weird. If you don’t have anything in common, it’s more difficult to have a decent conversation.

What I dislike the most is when I’m the one who has to start a conversation. That’s unnatural for an introvert. It’s different when I talk to someone I know. If it’s not, I just want to get out of there or do something else. This what has happened during the career coaching. Group work with a bunch of people who doesn’t even talk to you at other times. Particularly if it’s pair work. I hate that. I’m not able to come up with anything if the other person doesn’t start the talking. All there is this silent awkwardness.

If it’s group work, it should be at least 4 people in it. Then there’s always someone saying something. They shouldn’t be best friends either because then they could have inside jokes or just leave you out of the discussion. There is one positive side of group work though. You hear other thoughts and not just from one person. One person know one thing and other knows another.

The truth is, the best conversation is not in a group or one on one, it’s the conversation you have in your own mind. Who knows you better than yourself. You can think what you like without having to hurt someone’s feelings. If someone heard those conversations, they would probably understand where you’re coming from. Or they may not. Some conversations shouldn’t be said in public. People are not as open-minded as you would think. Sometimes you need conversations by yourself.

I am a true introvert

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Source: http://www.buzzfeed.com/mackenziekruvant/are-you-actually-an-introvert?utm_term=.rvKZpZVXx#.bhOGvGV64

I found this test on Pinterest where you could test if you’re truly an introvert. There’s no doubt about that. Introversion is not a disease  or a disability though. Or a person from another planet. That’s what it feels like when I read articles or somewhere on the internet where it’s written about it. It’s part of your personality. You can do anything an extrovert can. It just takes time to get to know an introvert. People doesn’t seem to understand that. If you tell them you’re an introvert, they’ve already decided what kind of person you are. I guess that’s the reason I’ve never had any real friends. Also because I have nothing in common with people. But that’s has nothing to do with introversion. I just haven’t met the right people.

You would think introversion would be an advantage in the work environment. Hard working and multitasking. But people expect you to be outgoing all the time. Introverts are not scared of people, they just don’t waste their time socializing. They’re there to work. Being social doesn’t mean you have to talk. Maybe extroverts lack that ability, to listen and be social at the same time.

I didn’t go to that school reunion after all. I didn’t bother going. Paying for a train or bus ticket and then socialize with people I barely know. Besides I only travel to the capital (Helsinki) if I really have to. I ignore that place like a plague. That city is just too big for my taste. I got lost once (almost twice) and that wasn’t a pleasant experience. Asking for direction is really difficult for an introvert. It takes a lot of courage. When I did, that person couldn’t even give me a straight answer. “It’s that way’ he said and pointed. What does that mean anyway? I had to call my dad for advice what to do. I was in panic and I thought I never find my way to the bus station.

For some introversion can be a burden but for me it’s not a problem. I like going to the movies by myself. I like doing things by myself. Then you don’t need to ask permission and you can do what you want. Even though sometimes company would be nice. Being alone doesn’t kill me. It just makes me stronger.

Introverts should be proud of who they are. No one should tell you how to be. There’s nothing wrong with you. It’s other people’s attitudes that is the problem.

 

NaBloPoMo15: Introverts and photography

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©Mia Salminen

When I thought about what to write in day 4 of NaBloPoMo, I had nada. Nothing. I’ve written daily before but today it struggled a bit. After surfing the net about other things, I found this blog post about photography and introverts. I thought about myself. It’s exactly like that.

Sometimes I wonder, if photography really is my thing when it come to careers. Like I wrote yesterday (btw, thanks for the likes 🙂 ) I’m an introvert and things are not easy. For starter when I photograph, I usually do it when no one is looking. It’s like I’m ashamed. A lot of other people photograph and they don’t try to hide it. What’s even worse is when you have an assignment to ask people if they could be photographed, I just can’t do it. That’s one of the reason I don’t like taking photos of strangers.

When Princess Victoria of Sweden visited the country in 2011. There was a moment when she stopped where me and mum stood. I was too nervous to take photos. But then again she suddenly appeared quite close so I didn’t have time to react. At least I got one decent one.

Princess Victoria of Sweden 2011
Princess Victoria of Sweden 2011

That’s what I lacked, confidence and boldness. I guess you learn from practise. If I only bothered practising that is. You only become better if you do.

But is it really worth trying if you don’t know of you get better. Even if I know the basics, it just doesn’t stick in my head. Chosing the exposure or shutter speed is a nightmare to me. I get frustrated when I don’t get the result I want. Maybe I’m just not made for becoming a pro. Posting your photos on a blog is a different thing than photographing for a living. It seems to be so much work to get yourself out there. Even if other introverts have made it in the world, doesn’t mean everybody does. As a photographer, you have to stand out but how, that’s another matter.

I’m not only an introvert but also shy and lack of ambitions. That’s the difference between me and that article I mentioned. You hear or read, you can become anything you want as long as you work hard. The only time I worked hard was mental work. It’s not that I haven’t had support. My parents were really good at that. But somehow I’ve just been too sensitive. I just haven’t had the courage to do anything special. I know I can do things but I just don’t know how to do it.

I sound like a jumbled mess in person, but get me in front of a keyboard and my thoughts flow in a far more structured manner. – Alethia Rains

Exactly my thoughts. With that, thank you. Over and out.