What doesn’t kill you makes you resilient

woman silhouette
Made in Canva

Experiencing a death in the family at a very young age has made me more resilient to the downside of life. Also, other bad experiences in my life have given me more resilience. I’ve always had my own mind and done things my way and in my own time. Sometimes maybe I’ve been too stubborn in certain things. I’ve also given up things too easily. I guess when you get older you get more resilient because life teaches you and it makes you look at things differently. If you don’t grow you get stuck in the past.

People who haven’t experienced bad things before probably take them harder than those who have. If you haven’t then you don’t know how it feels. Even if you have you can only imagine how it feels. People take negativity differently. Life isn’t easy so you shouldn’t take it for granted. When I was younger I felt lucky that I had both of my parents around. Classmates parents died or divorced. I could sympathise with them but I was glad I didn’t have to go through it myself. I could never have imagined at the time that I had to go through the same sorrow years later. Death is part of life and when you experience it in the family you get more resilient. You move on because your life doesn’t stop. The person who died wants you to move on. You never get over their death because they will always be a part of you. You can think about them from time to time and maybe imagine how life would be if they were still around. And maybe cry when you feel down. When you start to think about your life, you don’t think about sorrow. If you can’t get over bad experiences, you can’t move on and then you’re life has been wasted. What doesn’t kill you makes you resilient.

For some unemployment is like death and they feel ashamed. Being rejected a lot can break one’s spirit. But for me, it has just got me more resilient. It doesn’t matter what others think of you. You know yourself better than anybody. If other people think there must be something wrong with you if you can’t find a job, it’s really their problem and not yours. I think the reason people feel ashamed about being unemployed is that they think too much about what others think. If you stop caring about that you feel much better about it. Maybe I’m just stronger mentally so I don’t stress about that. It’s easier said than done but I can only speak for myself. There are times when I still struggle but I get over it after a while. You shouldn’t dwell on things that aren’t your fault. Life is full of disappointment but that shouldn’t stop you from trying. Too many rely on someone else’s opinions or views. You should live your life for yourself and those close to you. There will always be people who think they know the answer to everything. I would just say, talk to the hand because I’m not listening.

Resilience doesn’t happen overnight. It happens in time. Some might be born with it but experiences can mould you to it. That’s what happened to me. If I hadn’t gone through the bad times, I could be a different person now. I think things happen for a reason. I could have drowned in my own sorrows and feel sorry for myself but I didn’t. You fall but get up again. The setbacks have only made me more resilient and that’s what you need to keep sane in this world. It will never be perfect so why fight against it. You should take life as it comes because one day it’s your turn to leave.

Goodbye, Terry Jones

The Nudge Nudge sketch with Terry Jones and Eric Idle in 1971

I was planning to write something else but then I read the sad news. The beloved Monty Python member Terry Jones has passed away. He was diagnosed with dementia in 2015. In 2014 Monty Python reunited. It’s difficult to imagine that a year later Terry Jones wasn’t the same anymore. I went to see the show in the movie theatre and I also have it on DVD. I was glad I went to see it. It was ‘live’ so it was almost the real thing.

Goodbye, Terry Jones and thanks for the laughs. Say hello to Graham Chapman from us here on Earth. Rest in Peace.

Ten years of nothing

blurry and dark nothing
Made in Canva

I don’t memorise years so I don’t know what happened when. All I know is that in 10 years I haven’t accomplished nothing to brag about. When others have had career moves, families and other things they’re proud of, I’ve just hung on. But I’ve learned to enjoy the small things because big things only disappoint. If I went to a school reunion I would feel like a failure because I haven’t done anything. I wouldn’t even go. Some people think they need to do something special so they can call them living life. I have never needed to go to some other place to find myself. Whatever finding yourself means. Anyway, the point with this post is going down the memory lane. I got this idea from a post on Instagram.

2010
I studied graphic design in a 2-year education. This was the 2nd year. That’s all of that year.

2011
I graduated from the graphic design education. This was the last year we went to Lapland to ski. I didn’t know it would be the last.

2012
My mother was diagnosed with cancer which was a big chocker. She got treatment and went through operations. There were still hope she would win the decease. The year was a lot of that so I don’t remember anything else. Oh, besides I got an internship in a local newspaper for two weeks as a photographer. Even if my mother was sick she was still concerned about me finding a job.

2013
This year was the most difficult time for me and my family. Mother told us her cancer couldn’t be cured. The doctor had done everything but nothing helped. Soon she got worse and maybe two weeks (or a week) at the hospice she was gone. That Christmas was the worse.

2014
This year I started this blog. I did write occasionally in 2013 but 2014 was the year I really started it. I also studied photography at Helsinki Design School.

2015
I finished photography education. I realised I didn’t want to do photography like a pro after all so it was time to think about something else once again.

2016
I found a web design education that lasted a year. I applied and got in. I wrote a blog about my education which is called ‘My Web Design Haven’. I don’t write it anymore but here it is. The education included on-the-job learning where you should find clients by yourself. Luckily I found at least one. That was hard because coding is not my favourite thing but luckily the client was very understanding. I got good feedback from the client as well.

2017
There was another on the job learning and this time we had to have at least 3 clients. I found them but only two of them was serious.  This was the time I really started to think about entrepreneurship. I really liked the thought of not having to go anywhere and I could choose my own time. To pass the education we had to have a presentation of our client work in front of 3 valuators. It was really nerve-wracking. In the end, I passed and graduated. I only had one job interview but that’s something I don’t want to remember. I went to my first ever live concert that summer and that was Robbie Williams. I wasn’t sure I would go but I’m glad I did.

2018
At the beginning of that year, I got accepted to a course about entrepreneurship. It was mostly done online but we had some meetings too. The hardest part was writing a business plan. After that course, I decided to apply to Helsinki Design School again. This time in graphic design. I applied to it twice and the 2nd time I got in. My plan was to add graphic design to my services if I would become an entrepreneur.

2019

I was on a plane for the first time in my life. I and dad went to the Canarian Islands. I got through the graphic design education. This is where I began to rethink about entrepreneurship and I’m still doubting. I applied for a job in something else but the interview was just that and nothing else. I hate it when I have to assume I didn’t get the job. Again they didn’t give me an answer. But I didn’t want the job anyway.

2020
Then there’s this year. I’m getting a new laptop because my old one has Windows 7 and they won’t update that anymore. I’m changing brands as well. It’s a Mac which I’ve used before so it’s nothing new. Then there’s the concert by Elton John at the end of summer. That’s all I know so far.

So there you have it. Ten years of nothing is not entirely true. I did do things so it’s not all boring. Both happy and sad things but nothing to brag about on social media and such. Where I will be ten years later is a question I don’t want to reply to. I don’t even know what I’m doing at the weekend. No one really knows what will happen in 10 years. It’s only wishful thinking.