Learning a new instrument in different ways

paint brushes in jar
Made in Canva

Instruments don’t always mean something you play tunes with. I can play a real instrument like a recorder and a piano/synthesizer with one hand but that’s not what I had in mind. I mean the instruments/tools you use in your work or hobby. Even doctors and surgeons use instruments in their jobs but they are not for playing a song with. An instrument can also be a metaphor. For example, a parent knows how to handle their kids because they have an instrument/tool for it. They have a way to calm their kids and so on. The instruments I’m gonna write about is things mostly creative people use in their work.

From a writer point of view, a pencil and paper can be the instrument. Maybe not when blogging because then technical devices are being used. Or maybe someone does in some way but I don’t. When I write a story then I use pencil and paper because I can think better about the plot. Things that are hand-written is pretty rare these days. Even letters are written with some other instrument. The problem with writing by hand is the slowness and that your hand get tired. Sometimes I write on the laptop because it’s faster. I actually like writing on the keyboard. It’s easier to find mistakes because the computer is correcting automatically. And if there are words you don’t know how to spell, you can find them online. You can still do that when you write by hand but not that quickly.

handwritten

Photographers, web and graphic designers also have instruments. Camera, photo editing etc. Adobe programs are the most used. It really depends on what kind of instruments you need and what you want to work with. I know Photoshop, Lightroom, InDesign, Illustrator, Premiere Pro and Dreamweaver. Now I’m trying to learn After Effect where you can make animated stuff. It’s much harder to learn than I thought. It’s like video editing but more confusing. I still don’t really get it. I’ve tried to do tutorials but I haven’t got any decent results. But it’s still new to the whole thing so maybe I get it when I use it. People who are using it like pros and their work are great. I probably won’t use it to anything but it would be nice to at least know something about it. I’m not bravado enough to become a motion designer but it’s a skill there is no harm to have. I want to know how to play multiply instruments when it comes to design. I like to be as versatile as possible. It actually goes with the most things I do. I would get bored if I didn’t have a change from time to time.

Retire or keep on trying

two red wooden chairs
Made in Canva

Sometimes I wonder if I should just retire and forget everything. But I’m too young to do so. If I retired my pension would be quite small. I’m a healthy person and I have no serious problems that could affect my daily life. Every time I see someone who has got a job through an internship or got some great experiences from something, I get this worthless feeling about myself. Other people get things done and all I’m doing is thinking about it. They are also given a chance. If I was offered a job, for example, I would consider taking it. Things like that only happen to others.

You shouldn’t compare yourself to others but in some things, you can’t help it. For me, it’s design skills. I wish I was as confident in it as I am with writing. I have this thought in the back of my head that someone is saying, “even I could do that” Someone actually said that about a photograph I took once. What worries me about my designs is the opinion that it isn’t anything special. I had the same feeling when I got feedback from the teacher about an assignment in graphic design at Helsinki Design School. It was just a feeling and it doesn’t mean they really meant it that way. Now when I see work from current students, I feel even worse because the works are actually good. They’ve had ideas I would never have thought of. In the end, it’s the clients who choose who they want to hire and not what you’re teacher have told you about your assignments. I can’t see anyone hiring me though because my work isn’t amazing. Only average and no one wants to pay for something they can do themselves.

It’s kind of silly to retire when I haven’t done much. Or maybe having unfinished business is the better description. I feel useless and unwanted when it comes to working. You’re either wanted for an internship nor part-time work. Not getting any work experience in your own field is even worse. I have done another job application that isn’t in my field but I don’t know if that will change one bit. I suck at writing applications because I never know what to write. It’s so stressful so I wish I could retire from job search altogether. That’s probably the only thing I want to retire from. But as long as I’m at the age that I can work, I have the obligation (or forced) to do the job searching thing. All you can do is keep on trying and hope for the best.