I dream small because I’m such a coward to have any big ones but that’s better than no dreams at all.
I saw a weird dream last night where I talked to some gorgeous guy I’ve never seen before but I never dream about Tom Hiddleston and that’s a big bummer.
Today it’s Dream Day. A day where you could start following your dreams. I dream every day but I never get anything done. I wish I could migrate to another life. A life where everything you dream of will come true. In that fantasy world where you have all the courage, you can have. Now there are too many limitations. Migration to another life would be much better than this one. In the other world, everyone would get along. There wouldn’t be wars and all that. Everyone would be happy. Now it’s only some people who are totally happy. The only time you really can migrate to another life is through reading, watching movies, write fiction or whatever you do to be away from this life for a while. There is no alternative universe where you can physically remove yourself to. It’s only in your own mind.
I have dreams but they don’t feel like dreams. They are more like hopes. I don’t really know how it feels to have a dream come true. One dream that did come true was going to a real live concert. It was Robbie Williams. I loved it but I didn’t have a feeling, wow, my dream came true, kind of excitement. It was more like, OK, now I’ve done that and that was it. Maybe that’s it. Having a dream come true isn’t like being on cloud nine. It was more like emptiness afterwards and then you just move on. I tried to dream small to see how it feels when a dream comes true. The dream was to get into Helsinki Design School to study graphic design and now when I’ve been there, it was no big deal. I was happy of course but it was just for that moment. Now when it’s reality it’s nothing spectacular. I have no special feelings about it. I’m glad I got in and now it’s just a part of life. Until June 2019 at least. What happens after that is impossible to predict.
The reason people stop dreaming big is the fear of failure. But that’s not the reason why I stopped dreaming big. I’m not afraid of failure because I’ve done it so many times before. My reason is there have been too many obstacles in the way and at the same time, I’m too lazy to start things. It’s like there lives another person inside my head saying all the negative things. Maybe it’s the introvert in me. I think about things that could go wrong instead of what could go right. I’m not ambitious enough. I have difficulties to start anything. I think what to do but then I get distracted. It’s a habit I should get rid of it. In that other life, I wouldn’t have hang-ups like I have in the real world. It would be nice to migrate to that life once in a while. If only that dream could become reality but that’s yet again really far-fetched.