No need to hold my hand

Made in Canva

Actually, this coronavirus is a blessing in some way for me. My free time from work is now extended to April 13. That means it’s also during my real holiday, which is Easter. No need to hold my hand because I always know what to do. It’s the same if I didn’t have a part-time job. The only thing that it’s different is that I still get paid. Another thing is that no one wants to shake your hand. I never really understood why you have to do that when you meet a new person anyway. The same with the hug thing. Then there are fewer crowds around and you can walk around in peace. I’m not a person who likes to show emotions in public. It depends on what it is though. Couples holding hands is another thing. Are they afraid they get lost from each other or what. I just see no pointing in it. Kissing in public is also gross. Each to their own. Personally, I wouldn’t do it in public no matter how much in love I was. You can tell someone you care without touching.

I don’t need to hold anyone’s hand when it comes to choices. I’ve chosen to go my own way and not depending on friends or classmates. I’ve studied things I wanted to study and not what others have wanted. Some teenagers who went to high school only because their best friend did. But I could never have done that. By the time I was 17 I wanted to get out of school. High school wasn’t for me. Besides, I hate reading and I hate Math too. I prefer doing things which is one of the reasons why I’ve chosen to study creative things. Even though was first education was in healthcare but I only went because my mother said it was at least something. I’m actually grateful for that now. Otherwise, things could have been different. Some people would probably say, at least you would have better job opportunities if I’ve continued to study health care instead. But I hate needles and not a fan of blood either. I always thought you should study things that interest you and not because it pays well or there are more jobs available. I will rather be unemployed than be in a job I don’t like. I don’t why you should be pushed to do something you know you’re not suitable to do.

Advice is always welcome but I rather do my own decisions. I’m not driven by money or ambition. I’m driven by independence and feeling good about the things I do. There is no need to hold my hand. I can found out things on my own. Maybe I need guidance at first but then I can do it by myself. Maybe not when it comes to writing articles or making leaflets about events at work though. I’m still not confident enough when it comes to that. I still haven’t got used to the workplace ways of doing things. Learning that is now on hold because of this crisis we have in the world at the moment. Who knows how long that will take. I don’t need any hand-holding to that either because bacteria are everywhere and washing your hands after you touch stuff is no brainer. Certain people just don’t see the obvious so you need to hold their hand. Metaphorically speaking of course.

Jive talking

shadow
Made in Canva

Jive talking

They say educate yourself and you get a job
But that’s just jive talking
You don’t get anything if your not a certain person
If you say that’s not true you’re just jive talking
The same with friendships you only get one if you’re it
Friendliness doesn’t help because it’s about your looks
If you claim otherwise you’re jive talking
Bad experiences make you look at things differently
It doesn’t make you bitter, it makes you real
You’re only jive talking because you don’t feel the same

The aftermath of 2019

horizon in car side window
Made in Canva

Christmas holiday is over. I and dad went to Tallinn, Estonia. The trip went well. There was Christmas entertainment on the cruise ship and on Christmas Day we took a walk to the town. Luckily the weather wasn’t rainy as it was last year. We ate so much on the ship so we wouldn’t need to eat at all for a few days. So after buying bags full of candy/sweets, it’s back to normal again.  The year is soon over and it’s time to do the aftermath of the year 2019. For me, it was quite eventful which isn’t every year. So let’s get started before I forget.

In April we went to Playa Del Inglés in Canarian Islands. A story I still haven’t finished so sorry about that. I don’t even know how much I remember from the trip anymore. I’m a bit lazy when it comes to writing about trips and editing photos. I think I still have those photos in my memory card. So far I’ve only written 2 parts.
Part 1
Part 2
Other things have occupied my mind so I haven’t remembered to write the next part. I might finish it next year. Let that be one goal of mine in 2020.

Then not so good things. I came back from Helsinki where I studied graphic design. When I got home from the bus, I tripped and fell on my face. I cracked two of my front teeth. What upset me the most was the lack of help I got when I laid there on the payment. One young guy just walked by and didn’t even look my way. So much for Finnish hospitality. I had to get up myself. It hurt like hell and my nose got scratches as well. Luckily I had a tissue to I could stop the bleeding. I had to call my dad to take me to the emergency room. Then I had to wait in the waiting room for ages before I got an icepack for my upper lip. I’ve never felt so uncomfortable in my life. Then I had to wait for the doctor for hours. They fixed my teeth at least with a temporary filling. Before that, I looked like an ice hockey player. Become of this accident I had to skip school and I couldn’t eat or drink properly for weeks. Luckily my nose wasn’t broken because that would have been even worse. Now my teeth are fixed and back to normal. But it was an experience I never want to go through again.

Then the graphic design education in Helsinki Design School ended. I wouldn’t say I graduated since I’m not officially a graphic designer. At least not in my own mind. I’m glad at least for getting through the education. The thing that I feel really sorry about was that I had to skip a day when they taught web design. I’ve already studied it but it would have been interesting to see how the teacher we had taught the class. Every teacher teaches differently. The other thing was my portfolio presentation. I didn’t get the feedback that could have helped me in the future because of my screw up. I wouldn’t say the education was a waste of time because I did get something out of it. But it didn’t give me any hope of working in the graphic design field. Actually, it made me feel even worse about my skills. Now I’m here wasting my time and the things I learned in this school is slowly fading away from my mind. Just like with the web design education. When the motivation is low you don’t feel like practising your skills.

In the job search, things don’t look bright either. I applied to 2 jobs outside my field. I got one interview but that’s didn’t go anywhere. I got no reply for either of them so it means I didn’t get it. I also applied to a Recruitment Training program called DigiTalentPro but I wasn’t chosen for that either. I’ve heard negative reviews of the program so I’m not really sorry about it. It seems I only get one job interview every second year which isn’t much fun. I went to a job fair but I only went to listen to a couple of speakers. And one of them I met which I’m most proud of because I usually don’t approach celebrities that often.

This year we also went to Stockholm in Sweden. We lived in a hotel. Then I got Spotify Premium because I got tired of the commercials. Also, the microphone on my old mobile stopped working so I had to start using my dad old smartphone. Then I stopped using Instagram because my tablet is slow and I can’t download any Google Play apps on my phone. I tried to find a solution but nothing worked so decided to skip the whole thing. So that was the aftermath of my 2019. The only thing I know what’s gonna happen in 2020 is the concert of Elton John in September. And my yearly dentist appointment the next day. The rest is your guess is as good as mine.