The dread of teamwork

game tokens with one apart
Photo: Pexels Free Photos

There are two things I dislike the most. One is job search, and the other is working in a team. I dreaded teamwork in school. Pupils shouldn’t be allowed to choose their teams. It’s always the friends that get picked, and that’s not real life. You can’t decide in a workplace who to work with. When you’re a child, you need to learn that you have to work with people who aren’t your friend. No matter how they look like or what kind of people they are. No one should be left out of a team. That’s what a team should be, accepting differences.

Everyone who has looked for a job knows what the employers are looking for. They want someone who can work in a team. I can work in one, but I rather do things alone. I never know what to say in teamwork. My mind goes blank. I don’t know what’s worse. Teamwork or working in pairs. I have had bad experiences with both. In a team, there are other people to please. With one person, you must be the one who starts the conversation. You should never put two quiet persons to do work in pairs unless they know each other. I had to once, and nothing came out of the work. In those situations, I rather do assignments alone. Then I can choose and do what I like.

You would think adults would have grown out of choosing their friends for their team. In some of the schools I’ve been to as an adult has had the same problem. The teachers let the students choose their teams, and of course, they take their friends to their teams. If you don’t have anyone who even wants to talk to you, teamwork is awful. You would expect when you’re in primary school (elementary school) things like that would happen, but not in adult educations. I have had some good teamwork too, but when having bad experiences, I’m not very crazy about it. I don’t mind working in a team as long as you’re not treated as an outcast. You might not be the one with the ideas, but still, you should feel you’re part of the team. Teamwork shouldn’t be something you dread because that’s a skill you need. Some things you can’t do alone. You can, but it makes the work harder. I hope one day my bad experiences will fade from having more good ones. Maybe then my dread of teamwork will go away.

Climbing the misty mountain

misty mountain
Made in Canva

I don’t mean the misty mountain in ‘The Hobbit’. It’s the misty mountain of life. I feel like I’m walking in a mist, and I don’t know where I’m going. I thought it was getting clearer, but it’s just getting mistier. I don’t get anything done. By the time I wake up, the whole day is gone. When people end their day, I’m only waking up. The entire day is wasted. That mountain of life is getting harder to climb. What I thought interested me wasn’t what I wanted after all. Maybe I do, but someone or something is holding me down. At least I don’t sit at home all day and only go out to the store. Some people are that lazy. I want to do something and not stay in the same place. That’s what I dreaded the most when I was a teenager, to get stuck in one place. I wanted to move abroad after I left school. I was restless and wanted to getaway. But that feeling went away when I got older. I was in a mist most of my youth, and now it feels like I’m in a similar situation.

Looking back at what educations I have, they are pretty useless. It’s a scam, the way people say how important education is. It doesn’t mean you get a job. At least I’ve done something. Other people might not appreciate my efforts, but I feel proud of them. I learned something, and maybe I’ve forgotten them already. But I’ve learned. I haven’t had the opportunity to use my education anywhere. It’s a bit depressive looking at job ads because nothing suits me. They say there are a lot of jobs, but that doesn’t help when there is nothing for me. I had high hopes about what to do next. But the years go by so fast, so it feels like I can’t keep up. It was three years ago when I took an entrepreneur course. Two years since the graphic design course. I just don’t know what to do anymore. Other people are much better than me and more experienced. It’s useless to compete with them. If I apply for a job in graphic design, guess who gets the job. Not me, that’s for sure. The employers just look at my resume and already decide I’m not the one.

Life is a misty mountain to climb. Some people might have the strength to get through it, but I don’t have the patience. Like Rene says in ‘Allo ‘Allo “, This is no life for a coward. Especially one with a good business.” Except I don’t have a business. At the moment, I just want to live one day at a time. The mist might go away one day. I only hope it won’t stay there forever.

Nothing is written in stone

cobblestone heart
Cobblestone street in Turku, Finland 2018 ©Mia Salminen

Nothing in life is written in stone. Things don’t go the way you planned. You are allowed to change your mind. Things that you wanted in the past doesn’t mean you want them today. Nothing last forever. Life is about learning things and moving on. If you don’t grow as a person and get stuck in the past, you don’t want to give the future a chance. The world changes too, so you can’t dwell in the past and do the same things you always have. Learning something new keeps your mind clearer. For example, if you have got your driver’s license, it doesn’t mean you can drive perfectly. You always learn something new. Like for me yesterday when I noticed I didn’t have the car lights on. I thought they went on automatically, but the car is older, so you must put them on yourself. An oops moment there. No wonder I didn’t see that clearly. You learn from your mistakes. If you learn from the first time or fifth time. The main thing is that you learn. The only thing that is written in stone is death. No one will survive from it and tell the tale.

The world is full of lies. It’s up to you if you believe them or not. One of the lies is about education. If you study this, you have to do it for the rest of your life. But that is not the case. You can study one thing, but then you realize that’s not what you want to do. It’s not written in stone what you want to become. Knowing many different things doesn’t do anyone any harm. Many people have changed occupations several times during their lives. They might have suffered from health issues, or their interest has changed. If they get a job in their new occupation, is a different matter. That is not written in stone either.

Nothing in life is written in stone. You can’t promise to love someone forever. The band you loved when you were a teen doesn’t necessarily mean the same to you anymore. The same goes with friends in school. You can’t be friends with your best friend forever. Well, you can, but that’s rare. You meet new people, and new things happen. Your feelings change. We are all human, and we have different ways to do things. One day you can love a certain food, and the next you don’t like it anymore. We should respect each other and not write everything in stone. We have the right to change views and interests. If we do everything we have always done, nothing will change. You don’t need to follow traditions all the time. Sometimes you need to do different things. Life would be dull if we didn’t leave our comfort zones once in a while. That should be written in stone.