Tag: education

The puzzled child

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rubiks cube on black

Watson: “I don’t understand.”
Magnussen (condescendingly): “You should have that on a T-shirt.”

(In a later scene)

Watson: “I still don’t understand.”
Magnussen: “And there’s the back of the T-shirt.”

– BBC Sherlock, The last vow

Even if I’m an adult I still feel like a puzzled child. Sometimes I have times where I would still need my mother but other times I’m like an old soul who got it all together. If it’s about daily life choices or occupations, I’ve always been indecisive. When I was younger I had future plans but now I live as the day comes. It’s easier that way because I’ve had so many disappointments in life and the future is less scary that way. You can’t really plan ahead because you never know what will happen. Living as the day came became even more significance after my mother died. When she was sick, you couldn’t really do anything else besides that.

Being someone with a lot of interests, it’s both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because you can do a lot of different things. The curse is not being able to decide or it takes longer. I’m between things I like and things I wouldn’t care less about. Unfortunately, in this life, you have to do things even if they’re repulsive. After primary school, I had to apply to an education I didn’t care about, nursing. I was against it but now I’m thankful I did. I also had a very good career advisor who helped me to find an education. A lot of young people (15-18-year-olds) don’t get anywhere so they have a bigger risk to become outcasts. So you have to start somewhere. I don’t really envy young people today because now there’s so much to choose from. What they should remember, the occupation they choose now doesn’t mean they need to do it the rest of their life. It’s OK to change your mind. I used to know quite a few people who changed careers. That’s what I did wrong. I thought I had to so stick with one so it took me years to know what I wanted to do the most. I’m a bit worried I waited too long but how would I have known I change my mind a lot. Like my mother used to say. The older you get, the more difficult it gets to find a job. Age shouldn’t matter but the society cares too much about it. You can’t go back. What’s done is done.

I wish I did things differently in the past but they just weren’t meant to be. I was too careful. But I would rather do things I like and not stay in a job I hate. I haven’t had a real job but the internships I’ve been to have both been good and some bad. I’ve been to the jobcentre several times and I guess they’ve became tired of me because I couldn’t decide. They even offered me a work pension once which I obviously declined. I’m a puzzled child, not disabled to work. I’ve never got anything but courses and internships from them anyway. If you want something done, you have to do it yourself. I wish I didn’t have to go to the jobcentre anymore. Last time I was there, the clerk asked if a web designer is my final occupation. Well, I don’t know about that. I might lose motivation if I can’t find a job. Finding a job in a field you finally chose is not easy. There’s pressure everywhere and there’s a lot of other people looking for the same thing. People might think I’m a difficult person. But I’m just the puzzled child who looks things from different angles before deciding anything. If someone got a problem with that, then too bad.

Enough of study, get me a job

Mia6 Comments

study word crossedYou keep hearing and reading how important it is to study. Up to a point, it is but it doesn’t guarantee anything. In Finland, there’s a lot of different ways to study but in some occupations, there are too many educated people. Some people even have studied 3 different qualifications and still, it hasn’t helped to find a job. You study because you want a job. Education is too overrated. Where you learn best is in a job. There are things that aren’t learned in school. All the efforts of studying are wasted if you can’t find a job.

I’ve written about my former studies before in this blog. To make it short to those who are new here. I’ve studied screenplay writing, journalism,  photography, graphic design and web design. I’ve studied a lot because I haven’t found the occupation that I feel comfortable with. Call me picky but I have my standards. I’ve never been driven my money. I want to do a job I like and not because it pays well. Photography was the main thing, so being a pro was in my mind for a long time. But after I studied it in Helsinki Design School, I realised I didn’t want to do it after all. I wanted more than that. I don’t know what happened to the people who studied in the same course as me. In a way, it was a disappointing education. I think most of the students there haven’t got a job because they went to that school. It’s not as highly regarded as the school themselves think. Yes, you have these pros as teachers but finding a job has a lot to do with luck.

Luck hasn’t found me when it comes to job search. You would think a healthy and skilled person would have no problems finding a job but that’s not the case. You can study all your life to become something but there must be a limit somewhere. Honestly, I’m up to here with studying. I’m not so keen to study somewhere because I know it won’t help. The latest one was web design and I thought that would open some doors but it hasn’t happened yet. I also don’t want to go to these job search courses. I’ve already been to a few. Besides, there is a lot of tips online so I don’t need courses. The problem lays where to find a suitable job. They say you should apply for any job but I can’t do that. Everybody wants to have a job in the field they’ve studied. Some people can do any job but if you got allergies, for example, your options are limited. I don’t want to study something new again. I’ve already started from the beginning several times and rather not do it again. I’m getting too old for this shit (Lethal Weapon) is becoming real each year.

Learning as in educate

Mia1 Comment

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It feels like I’m the most educated person at my age in the world. Educate yourself they say and it will open doors for you in the working world. That’s a lot of nonsense. It might work for some but not for me. Sometimes it’s frustrating to have all these educations and not get anywhere. Maybe I’ve been too passive when it comes to job search. But I have standards and maybe too picky. I think it’s a waste of time sending applications to a lot of companies. I rather find a job where I have a better chance. I can’t do any job either. Like a cleaner because of the strong detergents. It has taken me years to find out what I really want to do. When I finally have, I can’t find a job in that field.

My resume is full of educations and only internships. It’s a bit of an embarrassment, to be honest. Employers look at job experiences but mine is a joke. When I was a teenager, summer jobs didn’t interest me. I rather have a holiday than work somewhere. I should have listened to my mother but I was too inefficient. Now I have to pay the price. If there’s something in my life that I regret, it’s that one. I helped dad in his company but that was just pocket money so you can’t really count that as a work experience. It would be easier to be self-employed so you wouldn’t have to go through the job search process. But being a freelancer also has its disadvantages. All I know is, I don’t want to be out of work the rest of my life.

If someone dared to suggest I should go to school again, I would give that person the evil eye. I’m up to my ears with educations. I want to put my learning into action. I need a real job and not another education. I always knew what kind of job I want to do but I have never known what profession. When I chose what I wanted to study, they’ve always been creative. I thought I would get paid for being creative but so far none. I can’t really call myself anything. I have both basic examination in graphic design and vocational examination in web design, plus a degree in photography. I have learned all the basics in school so I don’t need to educate in any school. But the problem with having a creative job is that there’s always someone better than you. There’s no use of a certificate if you’re not good enough to get paid.

You can learn new things without having to go to school. There are different ways to educate yourself. I learn easier in practice than reading from a book. That’s one of the reasons why I never went to high school. That’s only voluntary in Finland. In school, you only get the basics. It’s in real life you learn the best. Through experience, you get better and that’s the best education you can ever get.