Tag: education

My lost grit

Mia3 Comments

grit road and mountainsI can honestly say, I have no grit. I give up as soon as things feel impossible. That’s the reason why I haven’t had a successful life. There have been times I had that grit but most of the time it’s lost. I quit my educations twice because I felt it was too hard. One was the business school but that doesn’t actually count since one of the reasons why I quit was because the atmosphere in class was awful. But the second education was photography. I was only there about 2 months because it wasn’t what I expected. I just gave up too easily. That’s something I regret but I was too influenced by the teacher who was too old-fashioned to even consider there are other ways to photograph. If only digital photography would be a thing at the time.

The time I did have the grit was when I studied graphic design. It was a two-year education. I had some motivation problems and I almost thought of quitting. But I thought to myself to take a grip so I hang on there. I didn’t want to have that 3rd school quitting thing on my record. After that, I’ve decided I wouldn’t quit any school no matter how hard it would become. It really has held this far. For a while, I did lose that grit when I studied web design. There was a difficult moment when we learned coding. But in the end, it was worth going through that stage. I did not give up and now I have a qualification in web design. Now I can officially say what I’ll do if someone asks. I’m a web designer.

I really need that grit back because it looks like I won’t get a job in web design. The other option is freelancing but that takes a lot of courage and grit. There is a change to be part-time and that’s called light entrepreneurship. It’s a good way to practise how to work for yourself. But still, you need to find clients on your own. That is the most difficult part and of course how much your client has to pay for your work. Planning is not really my strongest point and I usually end up empty handed. There’s a lot of pressure to be different from the others. There’s so much at stake and if you have no grit, it will be even harder. I don’t have that business mind and marketing myself is a lot of work. It already feels like I shouldn’t even try because of the workload you need to do. On the other hand, there is more freedom to work for yourself. You work on your own but yet you have that client you work for. The downside is that if you don’t work, you don’t get paid. I don’t want to lose my spare time either. I wish I had that grit like my father have. If grit runs in the family, then it must have skipped a generation.

Life is never easy. If it was, I would have that grit. I would have a lot if life was easy. You play with the cards you’re given. I have some grit in me and that’s getting over my problems. Getting through life is the main thing and not how successful you can become. Enjoying life in small doses is good enough for me and that’s a grit everybody should have.

 

Tallenna

Tallenna

Crossing the bridge

Mia1 Comment
RailwayBridge
The Railway Bridge, Riga, Latvia

There’s a saying “crossing the bridge when we get there” which means you handle a problem when you get there if there will be any. But I always think about what could go wrong before it happens. I think what if I do something wrong or say something wrong. Before I say anything to someone I think before I speak and sometimes I leave it at that. I never do anything spontaneous. I couldn’t organise an event for someone else. My plans usually goes wrong so I stopped planning. I live the day as they come. I couldn’t cross a line in any circumstances. I don’t like hurting people’s feelings so I hold my tongue with my thoughts. I feel guilty if I hurt someone I know. When I was angry at my parents I always regretted it later.

I try to do things even if I think of the worse. They usually end up alright and wonder why I was worried in the first place. Some things I do worry when I get there. For example when I apply to schools I just cross my fingers and hope for the best. I’ve been lucky to have got in to school’s I applied to. When you’re young it’s very important to get an education or you fall through the cracks. There’s a lot of youngsters who become outcasts because they don’t get that stability from a young age. If I hadn’t got anything after I left primary school, who knows where I would be now. I just wish I could get a job as easily as becoming a student. When I graduate from this education I’m on now this spring, I don’t know what I’ll do next. But I’m crossing the bridge when I get there. That’s the only time I do that. Other times I worry too much.

Sometimes I don’t even bother my mind with how things will go. Blogging is one of them. I don’t worry about what people might think of me. It’s easier to write about yourself and your thoughts through a blog. People still won’t get to know me completely. There are things I keep to myself. You might know what I’m about but no one won’t get to know me. That goes for anyone. You know who you are and that’s what important. On the internet you can’t tell everything about yourself. You should really worry what you put online because there’s a lot of people who tries to take advantage of you. “Crossing the bridge when you get there” doesn’t apply here. Once you put things online, it stays there and it’s too late to take it back. Every photo of yourself is out there for anyone to use. It’s worrying to see people posting selfies of themselves and photos of where they live. It can be a dangerous game. You think there’s no harm of showing yourself. You can always take it offline but it’s already out there. That’s one of the reasons why I don’t post photos of myself more than I have. No one knows where it will end up. I don’t want that much attention. Especially posting photos of your children can lead to anything bad. I don’t even want to think where those photos will end up. People are so careless and they should really think the worse first before posting anything online.

Like in an American police series ‘Hills street blues’ once said, “Let’s be careful out there”