Tag: education

On a journey and back again

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StPeterLine
Princess Maria, Harbour of Helsinki 2016

Back from Saint Petersburg. Took over 300 photos so it will take some time before I get the report ready. That’s a journey I want to tell you about in later posts, dear readers.

When one journey ends, another begins. Actually life in general is a journey. Some have more and some have a less exciting ones. What I dislike the most is the tension I get when I experience unfamiliar things. It feels like my stomach is in a knot. It’s not anxiety, it’s just a temporary feeling that goes away after a while. It used to be much worse when I was younger. Even going to the unemployment agency was something I hated doing. Any social gatherings made me nervous. My heart was pounding like crazy and I kept thinking about everything that could go wrong. Even if my mother told me it’s just jitters and it will be a relief when it’s over, I was still nervous. She was right though which I only realised when I got older. It’s OK if you make a mistake. It’s human. Everyone gets nervous, even the famous ones.

Next journey I’m going to is an interview for a school I applied to. It’s in a small town in Western Finland. I sent the application before the holiday and there are gonna be an interview next month. It’s a Web Designer schooling, if anyone’s interested. I’m not very good at interviews so we’ll see how it goes. Since it’s in a small town, I’m a bit sceptic about how I’m gonna feel at home there if I get into the school. Living in a dorm again is a bit of a turn off. There are rooms for one but there are not many of those. Sharing a room with another is not my cup of tea. At least I get home on the weekends. The education takes about a year so maybe I manage. You never know what kind a journey it’s gonna be. Another concern is how to get there. The bus is the only thing but which one, that is the question. That’s another journey entirely.

There are some nice journeys and some bad. Even blogging is one. The difference is that you don’t need to go anywhere. I do like going to places but most times I don’t have the courage to do them. Some do things, I dream. If I lived in my head, the world would look different. In your mind things go they way you want them to. But then reality hits you and your dream bubble burst into pieces. If I go through life the way it is and I’m still around when I’m old, then I’ve done something right. My journey through life probably won’t be very eventful but it’s better be safe than sorry.

 

Tallenna

Mission Job Search

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knowwhatToday the career coaching course was over. In a way I did learn a lot of about job search but there’s also things I already knew from a preview job search course I’ve attended before. The most depressive thing was to look for a job practise when the places I went to ask was a ‘No’ everywhere. So I didn’t get any. I felt really down. All kind of negative things came to mind. One of them was I’m useless and a coward that won’t get anything done. The worst thing was to get in touch with companies. Calling a stranger is hell. Also going to new places terrified me. It took a few days to pick up the nerve. I hated the whole process. The career coach got me a place in a creative cooperative branch and I had to contact them myself. To make a long story short. I got an appointment there and went. It was only for a couple of hours but I got some new info about how a cooperative works and what they do. I was mainly interested in photography but they were busy elsewhere. I still got to know about clothes designing which was also interesting. The girls (most of them are) there were really nice. I felt really relaxed and I wasn’t nervous about asking questions. A cooperative could be an option if I don’t find work elsewhere.

So what am I going to do next? I don’t really know what I’m doing even if it says so in the photo of my T-shirt. During this course I was looking for a job and studying wasn’t on my agenda. I’ve studied so much before and it was getting boring. There’s also a lot of other dilemmas about starting with study things again. Like financial and travelling arrangements. I’ve looked through different educations just to see what’s out there. I came across a web- designer vocational examination. The school is in a small town in Western Finland which means I have to live in a dorm. I hated that when I studied. The education takes 9 months. It’s not even sure I get into the school so it’s too early to worry about that. There’s a same kind of schooling in my city but it’s longer and it doesn’t have photography like this one. It also starts next year when this begins in August 2016. It’s kind of easy to apply. There are no assignments. You only need to fill a form online and then they interview the applicants. Easy-peasy. I thought I would expand my skills. Since I’ve already studied some of the subjects they teach there, it won’t be too difficult.

My other mission is to get an internship. It could be one of the companies I went to when looking for a job practise. I won’t mention any names. I can tell you it’s a digital marketing agency. You can send them an open application via email. Maybe they only take students though. But it’s worth a try. If you don’t try, you’ll never know. I know what kind of things you should write in applications like that but how to put them in words to convince them, that’s another story. I don’t exactly have experience in marketing even though it has been part of my studies. Of course there other companies where they also have some kind of photography. Advertisement agencies, graphic design etc.
Getting an internship in a photography studio seems impossible. There’s not many in my city. If you ask one and they say ‘no can do’ then they all say that. I’m not really into that studio stuff anyway. Portrait photography? Wedding? Pets? It seems that’s the photography most people do and honestly, that’s boring. But in a studio you learn the technical stuff so not everything is bad.

I’ve learned photography won’t be my main profession and maybe not at all. I’m not very ambitions and the competition out there is so stressful. I don’t think I’m even that good to become a pro. Besides I can so many different things and it feels like I’ll miss those things if I only concentrate one thing. I still want to do photography but other things too. If this really were a perfect world, I would travel around the continent and become friends with every person I like. But this is real life and to become a complete human being, you need to have goals in life. Mine comes in small doses. Dream big, they say. But I just dream.

“I’m a loser baby, so why don’t you kill me?”

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HDSFirst meeting in Helsinki Design School is over. Even travelling back and forth for 3 days, is exhausting. But that’s the only way. Especially when you don’t know anyone that lives in Helsinki. Hotels are expensive too. Rest of the photography course will only be for 2 days so it will be easier. First I thought, maybe I could sleep over at a class mates house but after meeting them, I rather sleep at home. I don’t think I will get that close to anyone. Since I don’t travel much anyway, a few days a month doesn’t hurt.

Finding the school wasn’t that difficult. Using Google Maps helped. I found the place almost immediately. I wasn’t nervous when I got there. When I was younger I was much more nervous going to a new place. Now I was cool as a cucumber. The class rooms had see-through glass so you could watch what other classes were doing. In the hall there were fashion students working. In the class room there were 5 and a half rows of long tables with chairs. All white. People had already arrived and it was quiet. Only a few were talking so maybe they knew each other. Everyone had a file folder and 2 pencils for jotting. When the class started, the Director of Education talked to us about the school and about assignments. Just the basic. We were about 40 student so photography is very popular. There’s only 3 guys and the rest is girls. There were more applicants that they could take. Good I was the lucky one.

The most nervous thing was the introduction about yourself. A total hell for an introvert. I totally screwed that up. I was so nervous I didn’t even know if they understood what I said. Hearing what fellow student told about themselves made me feel like a loser. Most of them were younger than me and they already experienced a lot. Some had been living abroad and some had an own company. Most of them also live in Helsinki area. There’s was one who was from my city but had lived in Helsinki for some time. I felt like an outsider at that point.

As the time processed to Saturday, we already had a team work under our belt. That didn’t go too badly. I usually fear team work. Bad experiences I guess. On Saturday we had another teacher so we had to introduce ourselves again but this time it went better. I was still nervous but at least I got to say something reasonable. We had another team work. Twice. Won’t go into detail. Something about making your own Brad Pitt. OK, that was just my group 😀 That was much more fun.

I’ve always been bad with names but I do remember faces. Being in a big class like this, it’s natural you won’t get to know all of them. I hope I didn’t give a bad first impression. I might be drawn and keep to myself (liking eating alone) but it doesn’t mean I want to be like that all the time. I don’t really talk to anyone. Just when it comes to school work. I don’t really look for a friend. We don’t meet that often and they live in another city. It’s still early days so you never know. We already have a group on FB so that’s a start. It’s about assignment and school things mainly.

Next meeting is October 24. Before that doing assigments. 2 of them. I just hope my printer have color. They are suppose to be printed on a paper which is a shame since my photos look best on screen. Oh well the teachers better accept the quality they become.