A person who doesn’t have English as their first language there are words you always write wrong. Or when you speak certain words you can’t get them rightly pronounced. For me, the most difficult word to say is failure and photographer. It’s such a tease for me so I rather not say them out loud because they sound stupid when they come out of my mouth. It’s easier to write them. I know I shouldn’t mind how it sounds like. The main thing is to be understood. I’m not ashamed of having an accent. I don’t even know if I do because I haven’t listened to myself on tape. Finns usually are embarrassed about having an accent. I don’t why because other non-English speakers do have an accent too. I don’t think people even notice if I have an accent or not. People don’t pay attention to accents because you can’t sound totally native if you really aren’t. Other problem in what English to speak, American English or British. When I was younger I thought American sounded much cooler but now I find them both fascinating. I write this blog in British English so if you find a word that looks like it’s misspelt, it’s not. It’s only written differently.
I write fiction in English and sometimes I find it difficult to describe something. It’s not just English but in my own language as well. Not only fiction but also when I write about anything. You can’t really say when you try to describe someone or something as a thingamajig. Describing is the most difficult thing in the English language. It’s stressful so when I don’t know a certain word I use another one instead. Or don’t write it at all. Being bilingual has its disadvantages. You don’t always remember what word is what in the language you’re using. I usually search Google for the word or Google translater when I write. I also have a dictionary but it’s faster to use the Internet. I’ve used English so much so I sometimes don’t remember what something is in my language. I both speak Finnish and Swedish so even in those languages I can find difficulties. I always spoke in Finnish Swedish with my mother and I went to a Swedish speaking kindergarten and school so I’ve grown up with the language. My dad doesn’t speak any other language than Finnish.
There are words in English that I always misspell no matter how many times I’ve written them. Words like unfortunately, fortunately, relieved. It usually becomes unfortunally, releaved. Some words sound similar. Like relieved and revealed. They are easily misspelt. I love the English language because words look the same but can still mean different things. It’s a bit like Finnish. Probably not as they are written though. It also has words that mean different things. I’m always been bad at grammar so I can’t teach languages so don’t suggest I could teach Finnish to you. Then there are words in English that are said the same way but mean different things. Like idle and idol. Example: “He’s been an idol for 20 years but he’s been idle for 20 years” I saw that sentence somewhere once but I don’t remember where I saw it. The English language also has very funny puns and wordplays. Somehow it’s easier to use the language in metaphors than it is in Finnish, for example. Certain things even sound better in English. Sometimes learning a language has difficulties but that’s how you learn. I know more words in English than I did about 20 years ago. I wish I could learn another language like that but I just so much else to do and it doesn’t stick in my brain like English does. I thought I was good at learning languages but I guess I wasn’t after all. I’m really amazed if someone can speak more than 5 different languages. I can hardly manage 3 but that’s more than most can.
No one is impeccable and no one can teach you to be it. But you can be as impeccable as you can in your own mind. Humans are supposed to have faults. Even people who seem impeccable are not. You have to know them in person to know how they’re like. Some people think they’re above everyone and they’re the only ones who have the right to be on this planet. It’s useless to compete with people like that. You should use your energy to more useful things than trying to please other people. I’ve known people personally who thought they’re better but for real they’re were only showing their own faults. You don’t need people in your life that only wants to bring you down. It’s a cliché but life is short. There should not be toxic people in anyone’s life. What you don’t know you can learn.
There can be people who might not like what I write or they don’t agree. If it’s blogging or writing fiction. But you can’t please everyone. The same goes with other things. I wish someone could teach me drawing for example. I used to do it when I was a kid but then later not so much. I think I got some kind of resentment towards drawing when in 6th grade we had a group assignment where we would draw a character and it was totally ignored from my schoolmates. I’ve thought I couldn’t draw at all so I didn’t. Even when I studied graphic design in 2009-2011, I didn’t like it at all. My teacher said that I was afraid of drawing but in my opinion, it was because of what happened in the early years. It felt I would be judged for not knowing how to draw. But then when I studied graphic design again last year, the teacher we had said, anyone can draw and it’s about finding your own style (is ugly a style, I wonder). We also learned how to find inspiration and how to brainstorm ideas. I’m never gonna be impeccable in drawing and I’m not planning to become an illustrator but I wish I was more comfortable with it. You can only learn if you practice but it’s hard to when you don’t have the confidence to do it.
The only creative thing I have absolute confidence in is writing. It’s such a natural thing for me. I have no problems commentating online either. Someone is shy to interact on the internet so they don’t activate themselves that much. Sometimes you just wanna observe things. Some don’t have the urge to express their opinions online. For me, it’s easier to express myself by writing. Especially in English. It’s actually more natural for me than writing in my own language. Besides, certain words sound better in English than in Finnish, for example. Of course, since this blog is in English I write it in that language. Practise (practice) makes you impeccable. Or as impeccable as possible. I got an ‘A’ in English in school in my primary school leaving certificate and my English has improved so much after that. And I’m still learning. If I only would feel as confident in other things than I am in English.
Graphic design is something I would want to get better at. Maybe the most cynical would think, this person hasn’t done much graphic design so how can they call themselves a graphic designer. Or think I’m not good enough to be that and that I should do something else. Or I don’t if anyone would think that. It was just an example. I’m just too critical about myself. Design educations have taught me all I need to know so I don’t need to go to school again. I rather spend money on something else. In schools, they teach you the basics and I don’t need a repeat in that. There is also a lot of information online where you can self-study. There are schools where they offer Bachelor’s degrees in graphic design (also in Helsinki Design School) but why should I go. I already have degrees in graphic design. Maybe if you don’t have a talent you need to have a fancy degree. I know graphic designers who don’t have a bachelor’s degree but still have a career. In the end, it’s the job experience that counts and not what kind of degree you have. It’s not like graphic design is operating on humans. Creating something isn’t super science. The most difficult thing is to know what kind of design you want to master.
I would rather learn things good than become impeccable because if you’re already there, there is nothing new to learn. You can teach yourself things you’re interested in. It’s more fun that way.
There are a time and place for everything. It’s time to play and there is time to work. But I don’t do any of that. OK, maybe play but not work. I’m not gonna write about that thing that is out there right now. I don’t know how to use the word perspicacity in a sentence. But life is a learning curve and maybe someone with English as their first language can correct me at some point. This post has no perspective whatsoever. I don’t know why I even write anything. But I got a lot of time on my hands because my workplace is still closed. I wouldn’t be there now anyway because it’s only part-time. Grin emoji here. My Easter holiday would be starting today but now it’s at least one more month. Maybe even longer. My job contract will be very short but no can do.
I use blocks now on WordPress because it’s quite handy. I especially like how much easier it is to put links to open to a new tab. Before I had to click here and then there which was time-consuming. I won’t go into more detail because this is not a tutorial. I hope you understand what I mean. If you’re used blocks that is. Or you may not. I don’t know how other people handle things. I still use the Classic Editor though. When I don’t need anything fancy. The block editor is useful when you want to have, well blocks. I’m also getting the hang of how the blocks work. Maybe because we use that at work so I need to learn it. Speaking of getting the hang of it.
I also start to get hang of using Mac. I’ve used it before but not as much as I did with Windows. It’s a bummer that the Office programs are not on this Mac so I have to use it on my other laptop. It’s a shame you have to download it from the internet and pay for it yet again. It was easier when you got it on a CD. It’s not even called Office anymore. The first time I used Mac it was called Macintosh and it was when I was on 7th or 8th grade. It looked much different then. Next time I used a Mac was in 2011 when I was on the job learning in my local newspaper. Mac and PC look different in graphics. Like the time can be seen up on the screen on Mac when in PC it was down on the right. At first, I kept looking down on the time when it was actually up on the right. I got a Mac because I wanted a change and I’m not a big fan of Windows 10. I haven’t regretted the change one bit. Except for that damn Word that isn’t there so I can’t write my fiction on this laptop.
Are you still up? Continuing with the perspicacity or the lack of it. There are so many different things on this blog post so it’s not interesting to everyone. You could say this is free writing but that’s not the curve I’m looking for. If it was it would be even more out of focus than it is now. I don’t know about you but sometimes I get fiction ideas during my night sleep. Which is the reason why it takes longer for me to fall asleep. Some people have trouble sleeping because they worry but for me, it’s the stories in my head. I sleep but I’m still awake. Well, my brain is. When I finally fall into a deep sleep it’s early morning and then I sleep until noon or longer. The next night can be the same. It’s a price to pay when you’re a writer. You can’t choose the time when inspiration comes. Coming up with a story is one thing and the other are names and titles. Internet is a good place to find answers to this. I don’t want to use the same character names in my stories. I mostly use first names only but somethings last names too. Maybe titles are the most difficult things to come up with. I have this story but I don’t know what to call it and it’s frustrating. But it will come up when I start writing on it. Now the story is only in my head. Maybe I only write it for myself and if I continue or think it’s worth posting online I will do so. Like I mentioned earlier in this post. I’ve got a lot of time on my hands so I have time to think it over.
So this curve and perspicacity has not ended on this blog post so thank you for reading (or just looking at the photo above 😁)