Tag: entrepreneur

Going crazy with all these problems

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fingers crossed
Photo by Kevin Malik on Pexels.com

With money, you have problems, but you also have trouble when you don’t have much. It’s crazy how much things cost, and when you don’t have any income, it’s even worse. You have to save money for important things like rent and bills. I’m going crazy with these problems. Soon the savings are gone, and what to do then?

It shouldn’t be like this for anyone. Some people got it worse than me. I’m not the crazy one; the world is. The uncertainty is the worst. Will things never get better? I shouldn’t have these problems at this age. Being unemployed isn’t a picnic. Some people think it’s easy to get a job, and those without one want to stay out of work. Most unemployed people want to earn their own money. You don’t live on welfare forever.

I would get money if I sold my flat, but I need money to hire a cleaner and moving help. But since I don’t have any income, I can’t afford it. My car doesn’t work, so I can’t fix it. Luckily, I don’t need the car right now. I still need to pay car taxes. It would be nice to have money to go on a cruise, go to an ice hockey game, and not worry about money in the first place. Not be worried that I don’t have money to pay bills.

I want to become an entrepreneur, but I’m afraid of starting because I haven’t found any clients. I’ve tried a lot of things, but no one’s buying. People only want free things. I need something right now and not in a few years. I’ve been on many paid courses about digital marketing, but none of those tips have worked. Perhaps it works for people who sell courses. I sell graphic design services. It feels as if I’m wasting time on trying to write a post that would attract clients. I don’t have the money to hire someone to do the marketing part. Now I have to do everything alone, so I don’t have time to design.

It’s a perpetual cycle. Problems come, but none are solved. All you can do is hope things will get better and try not to go crazy. People talk about how much money they have, but not many talk about the lack of it. It’s as if it’s taboo. If someone is saying they are working because they love the job, they’re not totally honest about it. You need money to survive; it’s a bonus if you love what you do.

I love designing and photography, but that doesn’t pay the bills. It would be nice to earn money from it, but without clients, it’s impossible. Right now, I need to hang on and not give up. That never makes me feel better, but I have to believe it somehow.

Peter Pan never grew up and I won’t either

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plant growing
Photo by Gelgas Airlangga on Pexels.com

There are different ways to grow—in height, sideways, or mentally. In this case, it means what I want to be when I grow up. I don’t want to grow up because you need to stay childlike in your mind. Peter Pan didn’t grow up, and I won’t either. Life is a long learning process, and you’ll never graduate from it. You only do adult things because who else would do them. Some things you have to do, like paying bills or other responsibilities that come along with it. The worst thing about being an adult is looking for a job and thinking about what to do when you grow up. It’s easier if you already know from a young age. For some, it takes longer.

I have had dreams, but they have never come true. Maybe it wasn’t meant to be. Since I have never had a big dream come true, I have small ones. Life didn’t turn the way I imagined it. When I was a teenager, I thought I would have had a family at 25, but then I thought I would meet the pop star I had a crush on. I also thought I would move to England, but that didn’t happen. My priorities have changed since then. I’ve had dreams after that, too. I wanted to become a Formula One photographer, but that dream was unrealistic. I have spent my life thinking about what to do, and some might think I’ve missed out on what other people have been doing. But you can’t miss something you’ve never had. I didn’t want to be like everyone else, and I am happy with my choices. Some people are meant to be married, have 2,3 children and have a career, but that’s not me. I’m Peter Pan, for crying out loud. Well almost.

My current dream is not to be a job seeker. I hate looking for one job each month and then reporting it to the job search people—I don’t know what these people are called. They expect me to look for something that doesn’t exist, as I would get a job by applying to one. The whole job search is unpleasant because it’s a waste of time and energy. There is only one I should answer for, and that’s me. I don’t want anyone to follow what I’m doing, and if I don’t do what they want, they punish me for not doing enough. By punishment, I mean taking the benefits away. If you don’t apply to jobs they think you don’t want any. It’s not about wanting; it’s about having the possibility to get a job. I don’t want a job to have something to do during the day because I have plenty to do. I want to do something that has a meaning. Life is too short to waste on something you’re forced to do. I’ve had internships where I didn’t want to be, but it was good to have because I didn’t know what I wanted to do. I got at least some job experience, even if employers don’t see it that way. My late mother always used to say you have to start somewhere, and I did. They still want me to apply for jobs that should be offered to young people who don’t know what they want. If I was 18 or more, jobs like that would be OK. But I want a real job with actual pay. I have diplomas that going to waste, and I didn’t study to fill my head with information. I want to put it to good use.

If you have the opportunity to do the things you want, you should do them. Therefore, I’m seriously thinking about becoming an entrepreneur because I want to be useful and make my own schedule. I don’t want to be stuck in this same spinning wheel for the rest of my life. I’ve thought about this for a long time and don’t want it to be a thought only. Nothing happens overnight, and I’m already working on it. This Peter Pan will fly and show you don’t need to be fully grown up to be who you truly are.

Advent Calendar 2024 – Day 17

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Christmas balls, stars and light part 17
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Is your life today what you pictured a year ago?

Daily Writing Prompt

Day 17

I didn’t think a year ago that my Dad would have passed away, for starters. You don’t expect something like that to happen. In January, he was hospitalized with inflammation of the pancreas, and on February 8, he was gone. I still feel sad when I think about it. His memory wasn’t as it used to be, and people say, in a way, it was a relief for me that I didn’t have to go through with his memory loss. That’s true, but he would still be here, and I wouldn’t be alone. He would have turned 80 on March 25. My mother died when she was 68. It makes me wonder how long I got, but with death, you never know. If you stay in that darkness, your life will be wasted. You go through grief for a while, but then you need to move on. Tears will fall occasionally, but then you keep living because that’s what your loved ones want.

A year ago, I didn’t think I would still be unemployed, but then again, I’m not surprised. Looking for work is like looking for a needle in a haystack. Apparently, it’s the same with finding clients for your business. That’s what I thought a year ago as well, to become an entrepreneur. But I have kept putting it off. If you have no clients, there is no business. That’s one of the reasons why I haven’t started. I can’t live on my savings forever. I’ve taken courses on how to be active on social media and how to promote yourself. But what worries me the most is what, if nothing, of those courses will get me clients. Have I wasted my time and money on nothing? Maybe I’m not good enough to be an entrepreneur. Perhaps I’m the problem, and I can’t learn anymore. Being active and posting regularly on social media isn’t the only solution. Those post needs to have decent content. You can’t post only for the sake of it. Starting something is the hardest, but you shouldn’t get into the darkness of your fears and worries. I look at my personal Instagram and see the lack of traffic there; it doesn’t give me much confidence in my professional one. You can’t compare those two because their purpose is different. Luckily, I will have people there to push me forward with my goals.

I don’t picture life ahead because you never know what will happen. Things may have changed a year from now. A lot can happen, whether it’s personal or worldwide. Life is short; it’s only how you live it. You can do something about some things, but there are things you can’t. As Gandalf in Lord of the Rings said,

“All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us”

The only that’s certain in this life is death and paying taxes. I certainly don’t want to do the first one in a long time.