Blowing one’s horn

Musicians blowing in traditional German horns
Musicians blowing in traditional German horns by Markus Spiske is licensed under CC-CC0 1.0

Blowing my own horn is not my thing. That must be one of the reasons why I can’t find a job. I don’t know how to brag about myself. It’s also a Finnish thing. We’re not good at it. It’s also an introvert thing. We don’t want to brag about ourselves and make ourselves something special. We like to be low key. But that doesn’t seem to be acceptable in the world. You’re nothing if you don’t want to blow your own horn. It shouldn’t be that way. We should be allowed to be ourselves and not pretend to be something we’re not. Some people seem to have problems with quiet people. Only because you don’t want to be a blabbermouth doesn’t mean you’re strange. Listening to people talk about things you don’t care about is stressful. Noisy people have the same effect.

Because I don’t want to blow my own horn, I don’t know if I could be a good entrepreneur. You need to be a lot of different things. A marketing person, a salesperson, a public speaker and someone who doesn’t give up easily. Most importantly, be good enough at what you do. Maybe it’s only me who thinks I’m good at something. Perhaps the reason why I won’t get hired is that I’m not good enough. They instead take someone with natural talent. I don’t have an impressive portfolio, and I don’t have what the employers are looking for. I’m not confident in blowing my own horn. No matter what I post on social media, I get some likes and sometimes nothing. If I don’t get much attention in my personal accounts, how can I get it on the business one? If I get any comments, it’s usually spam. I wouldn’t trust anyone. I feel it’s unnecessary work if I promote things on social media. It’s not easy to be ignored as a job seeker or/and an entrepreneur. I don’t know how to say something about myself or what I can do. At least when it comes to making it to words. It’s incredible how things disappear from your head when you should think about them. It has nothing to do with memory problems. I tend not to think about complicated stuff like that.

Maybe I’ve chosen the wrong path when it comes to careers. It seems you need to blow your own horn because the competition is tough. There are so many people in the design business, and I don’t know how to stand out. Maybe my destiny is to be without a job. I never wanted an ordinary job, but it has backfired. Only because I don’t know how to blow my own horn.

Bloganuary: Living boldly in my head

up in the ski jumping tower
Ski jumping tower in Lahti, Finland by ©️Mia Salminen

Day 11. I’m not boldly at all. A lot of things scare me. I’m always being careful. Once, I fractured my left hand when I slipped on ice; after that, I promised myself I never wanted to get hurt that way. All of my hobbies have been safe. I’ve slalom skied, but even then, I wasn’t boldly. It’s better to be safe than sorry. You live longer too. Not that I want to live until I’m 100. People think you need to be bold to feel you’re alive. Everyone doesn’t want to live in danger. I don’t believe in this; live each day like it was your last. There are many things I haven’t done, but I don’t feel I’ve missed anything. How can you miss something you never had? I don’t regret things. What is done is done. There have been experiences I wish I didn’t have, but I have learned from them. For me, living boldly means doing it in my head. Everythings in there goes the way I want.

In certain things, I wish I was bold. I’ve thought since 2018 about becoming an entrepreneur in design. I even went to a course about it. I still haven’t started. It’s fear of losing free time and money problems. What if things don’t go anywhere, and then I have no security. Some say it takes years to become successful. I’ve had doubts about my ability to have a business. I skipped the idea and thought about looking for a job instead. But nothing has come up, so I’m starting to think about the entrepreneur thing again. The thought about working at home and not having to go anywhere sounds good in my head. The reality is different. There is a lot you need to do to get your business out there. You need to stand out. I don’t have anything new to show. I don’t think I’m that good. There are many more experienced people out there. I don’t know what kind of services I would have. You need to be bold and know how to promote the things you create.

My boldness comes from small things. Driving a car or a bike in traffic. Daring to learn new things. Going to concerts which I didn’t do when I was younger. You don’t need to be a daredevil to feel alive. Being boldly in small doses is just as good.

Bloganuary: Last time I left my comfort zone

Photo by Tim Samuel on Pexels.com

Day 3. As an introvert, the comfort zone is a familiar concept. Brave and ambitious people might not understand how difficult it is for a person to do something they’re not used to. It won’t help if you say what could happen because that won’t help. It takes time to get out of your comfort zone. You might be nervous or anxious. You rather not do it because you don’t like that feeling.

The first time I got out of my comfort zone was when I was 17. I moved to another town to study health care. It was an education I didn’t want to study. But my mother said I had to start somewhere, and she was right. It was right after school, and if I hadn’t got anything, who knows how my life would have been. The first week was awful. Everything was new, and I didn’t know anyone. It was a small town, and there was nothing to do. I was very homesick, so I called my mother and cried on the phone. But when I got to know my classmates and my roommate, I felt much better. The education was only one year which was all I could have taken.

As I got older, I have had been braver to step out of my comfort zone. I still like being there. In life, you need to grow; otherwise, you get nothing done. I’ve never been good at making decisions. I’m very indecisive, so it takes ages to get things done. Even if I know what I want to do, the comfort zone keeps holding me back. I’ve been thinking about entrepreneurship for a few years now, but I don’t get anything done. Instead, I’ve been lazy and tried to do something else besides looking for something to do. It will probably continue the same this year. I always tell myself I will start something at the beginning of the year, but I keep putting it off. I tried to search for a job, but I haven’t found anything to apply to. The last time I had a job was in 2020, and even that was only part-time.

The last time I left my comfort zone was last year when I got my driver’s licence and went to a carwash. When I was a child, I was scared of them. I never wanted to be in the car, so I waited outside. It was the big brushes I was afraid of. Now when I went, it didn’t go very well. I didn’t know how to drive inside the car wash. Luckily there was a man helping me. I had to reverse the car and drive back in again. It was a bit embarrassing, but it was the first I drove the car myself. It was my dad’s car, so I wasn’t familiar with it at that point. I wouldn’t want to use a car wash that often, but fortunately, you only need to do that once a year. Every time I drive in traffic, it’s always outside my comfort zone. I went to driving school 26 years ago, but I didn’t finish it. Now I know why. I didn’t like driving, among others. I feel nervous, and I don’t trust other drivers. I haven’t driven the car alone yet. My dad has been with me. I don’t drive the car very often anyway because you can go by bike or walk to get to places in my city.

This summer, I’m going to leave my comfort zone to go to two concerts. I first went to a real concert in 2018 when Robbie Williams was here. I had never been to a show before because I didn’t like big crowds. I’ve only been to free concerts where more than one performer has been there. I guess I got the ‘bug’ from that first concert because I didn’t hesitate to go to the next ones. I only hope they won’t be postponed because of covid. The Elton John one was moved because of that. When you can’t wait to get out of your comfort zone, that means you’re ready to do it more often. But it’s always nice to go back.