Domestic- the dark side of job search

man with a whip
Made in Canva. Photo: Pixabay

Even though the coronavirus thing is going on, people still need to find jobs. Especially young people who are looking for summer jobs. There is a lot of tips on how to make resumes. But the truth is, no matter how fancy your resume looks, if there is nothing to put in it, you won’t get the job. I don’t why people never talk about the domestic side of job search. These bosses probably have this fantasy that they want a young person so they can dominate them. Not literally but mentally. You don’t get your dream job without really good luck. All these job searching “tips” don’t work with everybody. The job courses are quite unnecessary too. It only gives jobs to the counsellors. The only time I had “luck” with these courses was when I found the web design education in 2016.

It’s been 3 years since that education but I haven’t done much web design since. I haven’t even got an internship in the field because you need to be young and/or study it. You can’t get experience if you don’t get a job anywhere. When you can’t practice at a job, then web design is not pleasant anymore. Maybe if I had found an internship after the education, maybe then I would have been more excited. Employers seem to want someone who is a “finished product” The same seems to happen to graphic design too. I wish I would have realised earlier what I wanted to do. Now it seems I’m too old. At least in the employer’s eyes. I wouldn’t even want to work for some domestic boss who tells me how to be. So maybe I’m just better off not having a job in design. At least I have a part-time job (might get back to work soon) or I wouldn’t have anything useful to do.

Then this LinkedIn business. If you do this, you get that and blah, blah. I think that platform is useless when it comes to job search. If you want domestic bosses and people, this is a place for you. You almost have to be popular if you get anything. What irritates me the most about LinkedIn is this how many new connections people get. I have only six. I don’t know how people get any new one’s. I doubt they know that many. LinkedIn is not like Twitter where you add random people. I don’t know anyone so therefore I don’t have many connections. It’s like school all over. I didn’t have many friends there either. Another thing is jobs you find on LinkedIn. Sometimes I get notifications about jobs I don’t even have any education in. If the jobs are about things I’ve studied, it’s always something I can’t do. You need 2-5 years of experience or more. You must be some kind of genius to find a job in there. Maybe LinkedIn works for some but don’t rely on it too positively.

If someone needs a good domestic spanking are those who think people are over the hill at 30+ in the working world. You don’t stop learning no matter what age. You should never judge someone by their age because all ages are different. You should never assume about anyone before you get to know them. The older you get, the harder is to get hired and only because some people think people are too old. Not just the age thing but also if you have a disability or gaps in your resume, some employers think you’re useless for their business. It’s all about the money and in a way, it’s understandable that they don’t hire just anyone. But you can’t generalise because not everyone is the same. The worst thing is an attitude problem. Then try to stay positive when these domestic bosses or hiring people don’t even want you in their company. Job search would be much easier if they had a heart and not only think about the money. Things were so much simpler when my parents were young. Then you could just walk into a company and ask for work. Now you have to fit in a mould to become anything. I won’t fall for that trap.

Smooth start for a new experience

So two days of my new part-time job done. It’s been a smooth start for a new experience. It’s also been very quiet which isn’t unusual at the place I’m at. You would think it’s boring for doing nothing but it’s more relaxing that the first days of work are like that. The person who took me to this job arrives tomorrow so maybe there will be something to do. Now we’ve only been ‘hanging’ around at our computers. I got very nice co-workers so I’ve been chatting to them once in a while. The place I work at is a non-profit organization for the unemployed. Our jobs are to inform the members about different events and other things. One of my jobs is video and editing but hopefully, I get other things to do as well. It’s still early days. Even if there hasn’t been much to do at the beginning of the week, the days still go fast. It begins at 9 am and ends at 1.50 pm. When spring begins there will probably more work. It’s better to be there than at home. You also get more money when you work or do something useful with your time.

When you begin with something new it should go smoothly at first. It’s not always so. I’ve started something that didn’t go very well in the past. It wasn’t anything shocking but it wasn’t smooth either. Going to a new school or to a new place. Especially when everyone around you is strangers. I always wondered how some people get connected with other people so easily. It’s always a struggle for me. Sure I talk but it never becomes long conversations. For some things goes more smoothly than to others but it’s doesn’t mean there won’t be a struggle to both. Life isn’t perfect even if it looks like that on the outside. Sometimes I wish my life would be more smooth than it has been. Like this finding, something to do that would keep me occupied for more than a week or so. But I can never stick to anything longer. You just need to go with what life gives you and move on if something doesn’t work.

What doesn’t kill you makes you resilient

woman silhouette
Made in Canva

Experiencing a death in the family at a very young age has made me more resilient to the downside of life. Also, other bad experiences in my life have given me more resilience. I’ve always had my own mind and done things my way and in my own time. Sometimes maybe I’ve been too stubborn in certain things. I’ve also given up things too easily. I guess when you get older you get more resilient because life teaches you and it makes you look at things differently. If you don’t grow you get stuck in the past.

People who haven’t experienced bad things before probably take them harder than those who have. If you haven’t then you don’t know how it feels. Even if you have you can only imagine how it feels. People take negativity differently. Life isn’t easy so you shouldn’t take it for granted. When I was younger I felt lucky that I had both of my parents around. Classmates parents died or divorced. I could sympathise with them but I was glad I didn’t have to go through it myself. I could never have imagined at the time that I had to go through the same sorrow years later. Death is part of life and when you experience it in the family you get more resilient. You move on because your life doesn’t stop. The person who died wants you to move on. You never get over their death because they will always be a part of you. You can think about them from time to time and maybe imagine how life would be if they were still around. And maybe cry when you feel down. When you start to think about your life, you don’t think about sorrow. If you can’t get over bad experiences, you can’t move on and then you’re life has been wasted. What doesn’t kill you makes you resilient.

For some unemployment is like death and they feel ashamed. Being rejected a lot can break one’s spirit. But for me, it has just got me more resilient. It doesn’t matter what others think of you. You know yourself better than anybody. If other people think there must be something wrong with you if you can’t find a job, it’s really their problem and not yours. I think the reason people feel ashamed about being unemployed is that they think too much about what others think. If you stop caring about that you feel much better about it. Maybe I’m just stronger mentally so I don’t stress about that. It’s easier said than done but I can only speak for myself. There are times when I still struggle but I get over it after a while. You shouldn’t dwell on things that aren’t your fault. Life is full of disappointment but that shouldn’t stop you from trying. Too many rely on someone else’s opinions or views. You should live your life for yourself and those close to you. There will always be people who think they know the answer to everything. I would just say, talk to the hand because I’m not listening.

Resilience doesn’t happen overnight. It happens in time. Some might be born with it but experiences can mould you to it. That’s what happened to me. If I hadn’t gone through the bad times, I could be a different person now. I think things happen for a reason. I could have drowned in my own sorrows and feel sorry for myself but I didn’t. You fall but get up again. The setbacks have only made me more resilient and that’s what you need to keep sane in this world. It will never be perfect so why fight against it. You should take life as it comes because one day it’s your turn to leave.