Tag: experiences

Peter Pan never grew up and I won’t either

MiaLeave a comment
plant growing
Photo by Gelgas Airlangga on Pexels.com

There are different ways to grow—in height, sideways, or mentally. In this case, it means what I want to be when I grow up. I don’t want to grow up because you need to stay childlike in your mind. Peter Pan didn’t grow up, and I won’t either. Life is a long learning process, and you’ll never graduate from it. You only do adult things because who else would do them. Some things you have to do, like paying bills or other responsibilities that come along with it. The worst thing about being an adult is looking for a job and thinking about what to do when you grow up. It’s easier if you already know from a young age. For some, it takes longer.

I have had dreams, but they have never come true. Maybe it wasn’t meant to be. Since I have never had a big dream come true, I have small ones. Life didn’t turn the way I imagined it. When I was a teenager, I thought I would have had a family at 25, but then I thought I would meet the pop star I had a crush on. I also thought I would move to England, but that didn’t happen. My priorities have changed since then. I’ve had dreams after that, too. I wanted to become a Formula One photographer, but that dream was unrealistic. I have spent my life thinking about what to do, and some might think I’ve missed out on what other people have been doing. But you can’t miss something you’ve never had. I didn’t want to be like everyone else, and I am happy with my choices. Some people are meant to be married, have 2,3 children and have a career, but that’s not me. I’m Peter Pan, for crying out loud. Well almost.

My current dream is not to be a job seeker. I hate looking for one job each month and then reporting it to the job search people—I don’t know what these people are called. They expect me to look for something that doesn’t exist, as I would get a job by applying to one. The whole job search is unpleasant because it’s a waste of time and energy. There is only one I should answer for, and that’s me. I don’t want anyone to follow what I’m doing, and if I don’t do what they want, they punish me for not doing enough. By punishment, I mean taking the benefits away. If you don’t apply to jobs they think you don’t want any. It’s not about wanting; it’s about having the possibility to get a job. I don’t want a job to have something to do during the day because I have plenty to do. I want to do something that has a meaning. Life is too short to waste on something you’re forced to do. I’ve had internships where I didn’t want to be, but it was good to have because I didn’t know what I wanted to do. I got at least some job experience, even if employers don’t see it that way. My late mother always used to say you have to start somewhere, and I did. They still want me to apply for jobs that should be offered to young people who don’t know what they want. If I was 18 or more, jobs like that would be OK. But I want a real job with actual pay. I have diplomas that going to waste, and I didn’t study to fill my head with information. I want to put it to good use.

If you have the opportunity to do the things you want, you should do them. Therefore, I’m seriously thinking about becoming an entrepreneur because I want to be useful and make my own schedule. I don’t want to be stuck in this same spinning wheel for the rest of my life. I’ve thought about this for a long time and don’t want it to be a thought only. Nothing happens overnight, and I’m already working on it. This Peter Pan will fly and show you don’t need to be fully grown up to be who you truly are.

My motivation is not fiction

Mia3 Comments
Photo: Openverse

What motivates you?

Daily Writing Prombt

It’s easier to say what doesn’t motivate me because it depends on my mood. Feelings are usually controlling my life. Sometimes, I don’t feel like doing anything, but other times, my motivation is high. I like those days because then I know I’ve done something. When things don’t go the way I wish, I get frustrated. I don’t like doing things that are done in vain. I’ve studied things where the money went down the drain, even if I did learn something from those times. I didn’t get a job, which is the biggest lie ever. “Get a degree and the doors to heaven open” – kind of thing. It doesn’t work for everyone. Education is not the only factor that gets you a job. You also need luck and good connection skills. I only have the feeling people have something against me. That’s only fiction in my head. Maybe my motivation is not getting into a position some people are. People in the world have more significant issues than I do. The way things are going in the world, it would be no surprise if worse things could happen to me, too. Be happy with what you have because tomorrow, they might be gone.

I should know. All my family members are gone, and only me left. No one can take their place. When I go outside, I see why I want to go back inside. No one will give me the same security as my family did. What I miss the most about them is having someone to talk to. It’s not the same with other people. The only relative I have some contact with is my cousin, but she has her family and business to take care of. The last time I met her was at my dad’s memorial service. But if I wanted her help or something, then she would. I’m motivated without relatives. Most of them didn’t keep in touch after my sister died in 1983. I have managed without them, so I don’t need them either. I’m not part of the Modern Family TV series, after all. My dad was in contact with his half-sister, but he didn’t get in touch with her when he was in hospital. I couldn’t get any contact with her either after Dad died. She was over 90 years old, so maybe she didn’t live at home anymore, or perhaps she died. Her kids didn’t inform us about anything anyway. Nice relatives there. Who needs a relative bothering you all the time. It’s better to be estranged from relatives you were never close to anyway than trying to connect with people who don’t care anyway.

I can stay motivated as long as I can do it in peace. If too many distractions distract me, I don’t get things done and don’t like to rush things. Getting support from others keeps me motivated. My parents, especially my mother, were good at that. She told me I should do the best I could and that I could do anything that I put my mind to. My parents didn’t pressure me into any occupation, and I could make my own decisions. That’s what every parent should do, let their kids become anything they want. You don’t need to be the best. We all have our strengths, and we should focus on them. It’s a shame the world has become the way it is today. Defining success with how much you make or how many followers you have on social media. If you haven’t, you have failed and aren’t worth anything. There is so much greed and selfishness that it’s not funny anymore. If you don’t fight it, you’re part of the problem. It motivated me to be different from others. I hope I never become the person some people are. I could never be cruel intentionally because I have a conscience and sympathy for others. It comes from past experiences and a good upbringing. I wish I could do more than blog about the wrongs in the world, but that’s the closest I can get. It might not reach the world, but at least my motivation is not fiction. These are my genuine thoughts about this. I blog to share my thoughts with others, and when someone likes a post and maybe leaves a comment, I feel motivated to go on. Even if I don’t get any, I can still keep the mood on good terms. Worse things could happen like AI writing my posts instead of me. Then Terminator movies might come true. As long as I’m not a robot, things will be fine.

A wheel is better than no wheel at all

MiaLeave a comment
Photo by Taras Makarenko on Pexels.com

On July 15, 2024, I’ve had the driver’s license for three years. At first, I had my dad with me, but now I have to drive alone. If he wasn’t, I wouldn’t be the driver I am today. He gave me the courage to drive. Before, I drove alone a short way. The first time I drove alone was when I drove him to the hospital in January this year. I didn’t know then, but it was the last time he was with me in the car. Because of him, I wasn’t scared of driving alone. He taught me how to drive his car. It’s a manual, so you drive it a little differently. Before continuing, you can read an old post about getting the licence below.

Passed the test
Originally posted on July 16, 2021

It’s true that when you get a wheel under you, you feel freedom. In 2017, I didn’t think I needed a driver’s license, but my opinions changed. I didn’t like to drive when I first got my temporary license, so I didn’t finish driving school then. But how things change. I have driven longer distances, and the more confident I get, the more I enjoy it. I will still use the train or buses if I go even longer distances. My hands and legs get tired if I drive too far. All those long drives to the North of Finland that my dad had to do, I admire how he could manage all that driving. I couldn’t do it. It took almost 14 hours to drive there, rests included. We only went there once a year to ski, but that was enough. I probably won’t go there again, even if you can go by train. We did that a few times because Dad didn’t feel like driving that far the older he got. Dad also drove in Europe when I was 6 years old and then in Germany in 2008. I won’t do the same. I would be terrified driving on the motorway in Germany. Finnish motorways are enough for me.

You get used to driving when you do it often enough. At first, I didn’t like driving on the motorway or in traffic, but now it comes naturally to me. A wheel is better than no wheel at all. Owning a car isn’t cheap. I could rent, but that isn’t very convenient because I never know when I will need one. I could always be without a car, though. But then there wouldn’t be the same freedom that comes with having wheels. I’ve thought of buying a new car one day, but I got used to driving my dad’s car, so maybe not yet. If I replace it, it would feel like I’m hurting the car’s feelings. I know it’s only a car, but I was with Dad when he bought it, so it’s like a family member. We had it for years. It’s not in my name yet, so it’s not my car. I don’t think I know how to buy a car even if I’ve been with Dad at the car dealer. One thing is sure, once you have wheels, you can be without one again.