Tag: experiences

Bloganuary: What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger

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Day 25. As Kelly Clarkson sings, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. I am much stronger than I was when I was a teenager. Life experiences make you stronger. If I hadn’t gone through the difficulties I have, I wouldn’t be as strong as I am today. No one’s life is perfect. You learn from your mistakes, and you grow as a person. What makes me feel strong is knowing that I have survived so far. I wouldn’t want to be the person I was. The people I’ve met in the past and the people close to me that have left this earth has made me the person I am today. People who hurt me didn’t leave me bitter. I should thank them for ignoring me and making me feel worthless. It wasn’t my fault. I was only the person I was, and I didn’t pretend like they did. I learned not to care what other people thought about me. They didn’t have any effect on the choices I have made. They couldn’t spoil my life if they thought that. They were only cowards who had low self-esteem. I learned from the experience that no one could treat me the way they did again.

Listening to music has always been a good escape from bad things. I usually don’t listen to the lyrics that carefully, but sometimes I find songs that make me feel stronger. It’s not only music that makes me feel like that, but also entertainment in general. It doesn’t matter if it’s TV or movies. I couldn’t live without them. It makes the time goes faster too.

I feel strong too when I write. In English, mostly. If it’s blogging or writing fiction, it makes me feel better. I’ve got better at it. That’s the only thing I feel confident in. It depends what I write, though. If it’s for a job search, then not so much. I’m more into making up stories and sharing my thoughts about something. Doing things you love makes you feel strong. Other times it wouldn’t be as fun.

The dread of teamwork

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game tokens with one apart
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There are two things I dislike the most. One is job search, and the other is working in a team. I dreaded teamwork in school. Pupils shouldn’t be allowed to choose their teams. It’s always the friends that get picked, and that’s not real life. You can’t decide in a workplace who to work with. When you’re a child, you need to learn that you have to work with people who aren’t your friend. No matter how they look like or what kind of people they are. No one should be left out of a team. That’s what a team should be, accepting differences.

Everyone who has looked for a job knows what the employers are looking for. They want someone who can work in a team. I can work in one, but I rather do things alone. I never know what to say in teamwork. My mind goes blank. I don’t know what’s worse. Teamwork or working in pairs. I have had bad experiences with both. In a team, there are other people to please. With one person, you must be the one who starts the conversation. You should never put two quiet persons to do work in pairs unless they know each other. I had to once, and nothing came out of the work. In those situations, I rather do assignments alone. Then I can choose and do what I like.

You would think adults would have grown out of choosing their friends for their team. In some of the schools I’ve been to as an adult has had the same problem. The teachers let the students choose their teams, and of course, they take their friends to their teams. If you don’t have anyone who even wants to talk to you, teamwork is awful. You would expect when you’re in primary school (elementary school) things like that would happen, but not in adult educations. I have had some good teamwork too, but when having bad experiences, I’m not very crazy about it. I don’t mind working in a team as long as you’re not treated as an outcast. You might not be the one with the ideas, but still, you should feel you’re part of the team. Teamwork shouldn’t be something you dread because that’s a skill you need. Some things you can’t do alone. You can, but it makes the work harder. I hope one day my bad experiences will fade from having more good ones. Maybe then my dread of teamwork will go away.

Taking the train to somewhere

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inside a train
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There are many ways to travel to places. Besides going by bus and by car, I’ve mostly travelled by train. The problem is that it isn’t cheap. It’s a faster way, but if the bus is cheaper, I rather take that. No matter what way I travel, I can never sleep very well. Unless I’m exhausted. It’s the sleeping sitting up, even if you can turn the seat a little. The first time I travelled alone by train was when I was 17 when I went to study in another city. Or it was in a small town. It wasn’t fun to travel there the first time. I had no numbered seat, so I had to move to another one. The train was full, and I had things with me. I had to walk around on the train, trying to find an empty seat. I had to stand for the rest of the trip. Carrying all those things and then trying not to fall. Those trains weren’t as steady as they’re now. Luckily I always found a seat when I went home over the weekend. It was the 1990s, so you had to buy a ticket from the train station. Since I was a student, I had a series ticket, and if you wanted a numbered seat, you had to reserve it by phone. I didn’t want to do it since I didn’t like talking on the phone, so I rather sit where it was free. Today there are mobiles and apps to do all those things, so it’s much easier. I don’t use apps when it comes to buying tickets. I don’t really trust them. If I go somewhere, I buy the ticket via the computer and print it out on paper.

The best about taking the train is watching the view pass by. I’ve travelled by train early in the morning and seen the sunrise. Seeing it feels different on the train. I’ve seen a misty morning. The fields look like they’re cooling down, and smoke rises up from the ground. It’s a beautiful sight that is difficult to describe if you haven’t seen it yourself. You can’t really get the same feeling when you’re going by bus. My least favourite thing about trains is when they are crowded. Once when I studied in another town, I had to change trains. They were usually quite empty in the morning, so I thought it was strange that many people were in it. A moment later, I realised I was on the wrong train. I had to get out of it on the next station. Luckily the right train came behind the wrong one. If I hadn’t noticed I was on the wrong train, I would have got late for school and been in the wrong place. That was quite an adventure that time of the morning. I didn’t make the same mistake again.

I haven’t used the train for a while. If I had gone somewhere, I’ve taken the bus, because it’s cheaper. Next time I might take the train is when I’m going to see Elton John concert next month. The problem is, will it be moved to next year again? If you buy a train ticket, you can’t get your money back. Or it will be difficult to. If the concert will be on, they should inform about it as soon as possible, because the earlier I get to buy the train ticket, the cheaper it is. When it comes to public transport, the schedules are the concern. That day, the last train leaves after 8 pm, and the concert will be much longer than that. There won’t be any buses going either. Maybe I should stay at a hotel, but that isn’t cheap either. I won’t be driving there, because of different reasons. Whatever I chose, I rather go by train than a bus. Sitting on a bus for two hours isn’t good for my legs. I need to have them straight from time to time, or I will feel uncomfortable. So choo, choo train it is.