One year ago today death showed its face again

grave stone and candle
©Mia Salminen 2025

Today, it’s been a year since my Dad passed away. It was February 8, 2024, and about 11 o’clock when they called from the hospital to tell me he was no more. A year goes fast. I still have things to do, like going through his clothes. But life has moved on, and I have had other things on my mind. Sometimes, I wish he was here, but maybe it was for the best. You never know when death will show its face. It was good that some things were done before he died.

My Dad was a goldsmith who owned a business for 30 years. He continued even after he retired. It was one of his ways of doing something. He was a very good drawer, and he designed the jewellery he made. He made white golden diamond and zircon rings, pendants and earrings. He had a sales rep from whom he got orders from. But then the sales prep died, so Dad began to think about quitting the business. He decided to stop, and at the end of 2023, he sold the business premises. Ultimately, it was good it happened because fewer problems existed for me.

One of his last works was this ring (and a few earrings that were the same set). As the daughter of a goldsmith, I had access to jewellery without having to buy them. I have a lot of different kinds of jewellery, including yellow and white gold rings and pendants. If he tried new designs, I got to try them, so I might have pieces no one else has. It won’t get me rich if I sell them. No one else, for that matter. I haven’t used them for years because I’ve had rashes on my hands. I wore a necklace that my Dad made once last Christmas. For special occasions, I can wear them. Maybe I could begin to wear rings again every day as I did before.

golden ring on finger
©Mia Salminen 2024

No one is perfect, and my dad wasn’t either, but he was still my father, and I’m grateful for that. We didn’t agree on some things, but we got along great mostly. I hoped to have him around a little longer, but we spent a lot of quality time together, and that’s what matters.

Bloganuary: I wanna be loved by you

rock giving a heart to another smaller rock
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Can you share a positive example of where you’ve felt loved?

Bloganuary 2024

The words, I love you, have never been used in my home. But caring about one another is love, too. You don’t need to say those words. Showing that you care is love, which is more important. If you love me, show me how I say.

I feel love when someone shows they care. My parents have shown me they do. Especially my mother. She was also dedicated to how I did in school and kept in touch with my teachers. She always worried about me. Sometimes, it was a little too much for my liking. Even when she was sick, she still worried about how I would manage. I knew she meant well, even if it sometimes agitated me. Now, there are times I wish she was still alive. I wouldn’t need to meet all the problems that might be ahead with my father. Honestly, I’ve felt a little lost after she passed away. She knew about things my father didn’t, so I could ask her for advice. My father always thought about his work, so my mother was the caretaker. This wasn’t a positive example because it also brought sadness.

If I could hatch again from the eggshell of life, I wish I could have the same family without illnesses and deaths. My big sister was a significant part of my life. It was short, but I felt loved by her. She was excited when I was born. I was only 6 when she died, so I don’t have many memories of her besides the photos and videos of her. Sometimes, I think about how things would be if she were still alive. Losing a family member at an early age changes a person. Thinking about the positive memories makes it feel better.

sisters
Me and my big sister, Nina

The closest people in your life make you feel loved. When the world gets cold, your family is the one to count on. They don’t need to say they love you because those are only words. Showing them how is the key to one’s life.

Swish and the time is gone

speed lines of a road
Made in Canva

It’s been a month since my last blog post. There are different reasons why I haven’t blogged in a while. Swish and the time is gone. I just haven’t had anything to write about. I haven’t been busy but I’ve had other things on my mind. And I sleep really late. I guess I have a lot of sleeping to catch up since I stopped my job. I have also watched a lot of movies on TV, so many late nights too.

So soon this year is over. I guess the top topics have been the coronavirus and US presidential elections. The other world news is all a blur to me. Personally, I had the job and then got laid off for a while. Then back to work. Now that is over. In private life, my dad had a falling accident about a month ago and then he went to a hip operation. Now he is in rehabilitation so I’ve been at my dad’s place. He’s probably coming back home this week. I’ve also been visiting him at the hospital. With a mask on, of course. So that’s about it.

Christmas is around the corner. It’s gonna be at home after some years of a break. Of course, it would be nice to go somewhere but, you know, the coronavirus is something not to be messed with. I for one don’t want it. Luckily I haven’t even got the cold which is great. I hope it won’t come either. I hate a stuffed nose and the sneezing. The coronavirus has gotten worse in Finland. One day there were over 400 who got it. There are still people who don’t wear a mask but they have their reasons. It’s not really comfortable but it wasn’t as bad as I thought. I don’t go anywhere anyway. Only to the store and visiting my dad at the hospital. I try to avoid people as much as I can. But I do that other times too anyway. I don’t actually mind this coronavirus. I don’t like touching things with bare hands and don’t care much about hugging either. I never got that handshake thing either. You can greet someone with just a ‘Hi’ and that’s it. The Japanese don’t use handshakes so why should I.

Only a swish and then the year is over. I don’t plan anything. I live in the present. I’ve thought about a few things what I could do. One of them is if I should get a driver’s license after all. My dad has always been the driver so I haven’t needed one. But now when he’s getting older and he can’t drive forever. I tried to get one when I was younger but I didn’t finish it. My mother was disappointed to spend all that money on it. But I realized I was too afraid to drive. Maybe I just wasn’t ready. What worries me is that I might not be ready this time either. I have gone without a license this long and I haven’t needed one. My mother never had one either. A lot of people don’t even want one. You can’t always get a ride where you want. When you go by public transport the problem is the schedules and other people. I don’t need a car because I can always borrow or rent one. My dad doesn’t want to drive long-distances anymore so maybe if I did have a license, we could drive somewhere the way we used to. The driving schools are much different than they were over 20 years ago or so. Sometimes I think I don’t really need a license but then there are days when I wish I had. Getting a job would probably be much easier too. At least there would be more options. If you feel too much pressure to drive on the street with others, then maybe having a driver’s license isn’t a good idea. Since I already been to driving school, driving would be easier to learn. I still remember how to start a car. The biggest problem would probably be the tests. I failed them so many times last time and you had to pay for them each time. That’s where the money went. I really have to think about what to do with this. Maybe that’s my goal in the summer of 2021. That and maybe find something to do for a living.