The downside of not having a job is financial struggles. I try to stay calm about it. I would think at my age I wouldn’t have to worry about money. But here I am, counting every cent.

Honestly, I hate it. I have nothing valuable to sell anymore. I have tried to do social media marketing, but I still don’t get any clients. I didn’t post on Instagram for over a month because I thought it was a waste of time. I posted again, but I’m not optimistic it will do anything. I can’t wait forever for someone to contact me.

Perhaps people want to keep me poor. All I get is bills and nothing else. Soon, I’ll probably lose my home, and that’s the last thing I want. I still have my other flat, but there is so much to do before I can put it on sale. I need money now. For eleven months, I’ve tried to find clients, but no one pays attention. Maybe my target audience doesn’t exist. I’ve only assumed what kind of services they need.

I can’t pay for a vehicle inspection because I can’t afford the car service. Because I can’t, there is no chance to switch to winter tires. I can’t pay for petrol either. Luckily, I don’t need the car anyway. I’m more worried about paying rent and buying food.

I probably have to stay home for Christmas because I don’t have the money for a Christmas cruise. I might skip the holiday altogether. Christmas is not the same anyway since my parents passed away. The Christmas cruise had become a tradition, but since I don’t have enough money, it will end.

I hate seeing people brag about how much money they have made from client work. It won’t help me. The internet is full of marketing tactics, but none have worked for me. If someone contacts me, it’s probably a spammer or some other weird person. I’m a weird people magnet. Or maybe it’s my face. I don’t know.

Don’t say things will get better. Or hopefully I get my financial struggles in order. Because right now, it doesn’t feel that way. All I can see is my bank account decreasing. But I’m calm about it.