Tag: Finland

Nothing on the horizon

Mia2 Comments

horizonLook to the future and don’t dwell in the past. But what if you feel there’s nothing on the horizon. Then you look to the present. That’s where the most important things are. Sometimes looking to the past is a reminder what you’ve been through. You learn from your mistakes and you make sure they won’t happen again. The people you met in the past and the experiences you’ve experienced, moulds you into the person you become. You could put the blame on the people that hurt you or it can make you stronger.

I thought about the years I had in school the other night. About my old schoolmates. Some of them were my friends and some were not. There was one in particular who only wanted to be my friend when she had a fight with her other friend. I don’t know what kind of issue they both had. Now when thinking about it, it was really childish behaviour from them. I always wondered why girls only spend time with their best friend and no one else are allowed to be with them. When boys socialise, they can be friends with a lot of other boys. Maybe there’s more jealousy between girls which is the reason you hardly see girl groups with more than two people. Since those experiences with fake friends, I refused to be a substitute for anyone. I prefer being a loner. If I meet new people, I hardly get to know them. I can talk to people, but that’s as far as it goes. I don’t even suggest them if we could keep in touch. If they want, they can take the first step. The older I get, the less important having friends is. It’s an introvert thing I suppose. If you don’t ask, I don’t tell. Foreigners who live in Finland, say how difficult it is to become friends with Finns. But it’s also difficult for Finns to become friends with other Finns.

Life is too short to have fake friends. A true friend is someone who stands by you through the bad times. I guess all those true ones have lost their way because I haven’t found one. I really have had bad luck with friends. One moved to another city with her family after 1st grade. One I thought was my friend, talked bad things about me behind my back. The same with another friend in 5th grade. It’s no wonder my trust in another people is the way it is. One through friend, my mother, passed away but that’s something you can’t control. Having friends online is different from the ones offline. But that’s better than having no friends at all. In a way, friendships are a little important to me. I wouldn’t mind if I had at least one friend close by but no one is on the horizon right now. I am alone but not lonely.

Not extravagantly cozy yet

Mia5 Comments

relaxed wool socksSo I went to that job interview yesterday. The job wasn’t the way I expected though. But I still managed to get through it with a clean slate. The job is through Studentwork which is a Nordic recruiting company who help graduated to find jobs. I did forget to say a few things just like I thought I would. One of them was to the question, what makes me different from other applicants. I should have mentioned I’m bilingual. It probably wouldn’t have changed much. Maybe I gave the same answer to a different question but it was quite similar anyway. I wasn’t very nervous before it. I thought I will get through it and give the best answers I can. I mentioned I’m careful when I meet new people but I’m always working on it. This interview wasn’t the final one though. If the employer gets interested, I get another interview. I will find out next week or so.

Even if I don’t get picked for this job, I still have that job interview experience. There is no time to be cosy. It’s a bit extravagant this job searching thing. Next year here in Finland people are forced to look for jobs or they get fewer unemployment benefits. It’s called the active model. It’s probably the stupidest idea to increase employment. You can’t buy a job from a store. No matter how active you try to be, not everyone will have the chance to find a job. It will also give the employers a lot more work to do. The government is trying to say that it’s all the unemployed fault they can’t find anything. Some things you can’t control. The job centre is a joke too. They claim the try to find work for people but that’s nonsense. I speak from experience. Like my mother used to say, you should hit your fist on the table and tell them you’re serious. Figuratively speaking, of course. If you want to do things, you have to do it yourself.

All the schools and internships I’ve been to, I always found them myself. When you apply for educations it’s not sure you get in. The same with real jobs with real pay. You can send all the applications with all your heart’s content but yet no one wants to hire you. You’re not in control of the result. You’re neither fit for the job or you’re not the person they’re looking for. I wonder if politics even know what job search really is. They have unrealistic views on it and they think they’re smarter than the average people. It’s so easy for a person who has a job to make up solutions how to reduce unemployment. Job search is not fun. Everyone hates it. Most people would rather have a job than live on benefits. It’s a complex process to find a job these days. You just can’t walk into a company and get hired as soon as you step in. Maybe that could have worked 60 years ago but now it’s totally different. It’s who you know that counts and how can you get that connection if you can’t find a job? Everyone doesn’t have that friend or relative with good connections.

I’ve been in the same job search circle for years and my dislike of dealing the with job centre is getting stronger each year. I don’t want any of these 9 euros per day or wage subsidies that they seem to shove my way. I want a real job with real pay. If I was younger, it would be different but it doesn’t help anymore. We’ll see how it will go with this job. I’ll only know next year what things will come. I hope it’s on a positive note.