Confidence or imprecation

three rocks in a pile
Photo by Pixabay on

How would you rate your confidence level?

Daily Prompt

My confidence level depends on the day. Some days it’s 0, the others is 9. I don’t know if it’s an imprecation or just the way I work. I never seem to know what I want out of life. I don’t feel confident around other people. When I’m on my own, I feel I can be myself. In the beginning, when I meet new people, I try to be outgoing. But then it gets tiring, and I keep to myself. It feels like no one is responding to me, so I let it go. Why stress about it how others see you? For example, when I started the filmmaking course, I talked to a person, but now I don’t say anything to anyone. Maybe it’s a Finnish thing, but people never ask me anything. I have to take the initiative, and it’s stressful for an introvert. Finns are only open when they know the person. Or if you’re a tourist, they are nice to you. It’s hard to make friends with a Finn. Even for the Finns themselves. We are all strangers at first, but I don’t know how people become friends if they never ask things about you. I don’t know how I had friends when I was a kid. It was easier then, I guess.

I’m confident about certain things, but then reality hits, and they are dashed. One of them is working somewhere, and I do my job well. But others might not think the same. How would they know when I’m not getting a job anywhere? I’m confident I can get a job one day, but those hopes disappear when I don’t get one. There is some kind of imprecation hanging over me regarding job searches. A healthy person shouldn’t be treated like this. But there are a lot of others who won’t get hired either, no matter what they try. You can’t get more confidence if no one wants to give you a chance. Many people lose their confidence when things don’t go how they want. I haven’t lost mine because my confidence level rarely gets to zero. If you lose your faith in yourself, feeling blue is easier. What others think about you is not relevant. Especially those who want you harm. Like the song, ‘Greatest Love of all’ by Whitney Houston, whatever they take away from me. They can’t take away my dignity.

At our latest meeting in school, we had a producer who taught us about movie production. He said you should do things even if you’re afraid. It’s true, but it’s not easy for someone who prefers getting away from situations like that. I don’t have that kind of confidence. I have been running away from things I’m afraid of all my life. I’m a dreamer and not a risk-taker. I have a temporary confidence period, but then I get nothing done anyway. I know I should, but something stops me from acting. It’s not about being afraid of failure; I’ve been through that many times; it’s about not having enough confidence in my skills. I don’t want to spend time with something that won’t get results. It’s not easy to start something when you don’t know if you got what it takes. Becoming an entrepreneur is one of the most challenging things, to begin with. That’s better than having to try to please employers to hire you. At least then you can get more confidence in what you do. One thing is for sure, my confidence level is better than it was when I was younger. I guess that’s what life experiences give you.

Advent Calendar, Day 21

sunset and snow on pier
Tuusula, Finland 2009

Today it’s Winter solstice which means it’s the shortest day of the year. I’ll sleep late so I don’t really see the light. From now on the days are getting longer and lighter. It also means spring is near and that’s something Finns look forward to. If you see a sulking looking person in December and a happier one in March, that’s a Finn. People is general have more enthusiasm in the spring and summer. Even me who likes the cold and the winter months. Warmth makes any person happy.

When it’s lighter outside longer, it makes you less tired. I don’t suffer from the so-called November blues. I can be tired all year around and it has nothing to do with what month it is. But summers can be tiring if it’s hot and I hate hot weather. I rather have cold and lighter days which is the reason why I like early spring. The time when it’s still winter but yet not too cold. Even better if there is snow. Snowy and sunny days are the best.

Before that this Christmas should be taken care out of the way. On the radio they play Christmas songs and complain about the stress people have. I have never understood why. If you don’t want stress, then take a trip. Don’t buy presents and if you really have to, buy online. There’s always a solution.
We always spent Christmas around the closest family. Those are the best. I feel sorry for those who have big families. You know uncles, cousins and so on. I could never imagine spending the holidays with relatives so luckily I have nothing to do with them. They have their own families. Our Christmases was always just me, my sister, parents and grandmothers. Those were the most memorable. I didn’t need anything else. Now when those days are gone, travel has been the easiest way. I’m stress free and I don’t have to think about any food, presents and things like that. We haven’t even had a real Christmas tree for years. There’s just too much fuss and not forgetting the mess. You can still have a nice Christmas without it. Decorations is a good substitute for it.

No matter how and where you’re spending your holidays, don’t stress. It’s only once a year. It doesn’t matter if you haven’t cleaned up the whole household from top to bottom. No one really cares. If you don’t know what to buy to your friends and family for a present, then don’t buy anything. Spending time with your loved once are more important than spending money on junk you don’t really need. If you think presents makes Christmas than you should buy something the taker can use. Presents doesn’t need to be materialistic. There’s too much of that already. There’s so many people out there who doesn’t have anything. Donating something to charity is a good way to help. It makes other people happy and also a happy feeling for you. Helping the less fortunate is the greatest present you ever get.







Finnish communication culture

Nokia mobile
My current mobile, Hayden

Let’s talk about the Finnish communication culture. Here even a ‘Hi’ to your neighbours seems to be the most difficult thing. Heaven forbid if you say that word to a stranger. Something horrible must happen. I really hate when I say ‘Hi’ to a person and there’s no reply. Maybe if you call a person to say it, maybe then you get a ‘Hi’ back. Especially for young people it seems to be the most difficult thing there is. If they had any manners, they would know that if the persons is older than you, then you’re the one who should say ‘Hi’ first. So what if you don’t know the person? I wonder how they get friends in the first place. We’re all strangers at first anyway. So why is a simple word such a difficult thing to say? Just a simple ‘Hi’ is enough. You don’t have to stop for a conversation.

It’s in the Finnish culture that you don’t talk to stranger if there’s not a reason to say anything. My mother told me I could greet a person anyway even if I don’t get a reply. But it’s easier said and done. I rather not say anything because I know there won’t be a ‘Hi’ back. Finns don’t talk, we nod. But a nod is better than nothing at all. I try to say ‘Hi’ to people I don’t know but when I don’t get a reply, I feel like a fool. It’s embarrassing trying to be friendly to people and then they don’t react in any way. ‘Good morning’ is a difficult thing to say for a Finn as well it seems. There’s two words in that so if must be too many to say. Sometimes Finns do say it but then they know the person. It’s the ‘talking to strangers’ that is too overwhelming. That one I do understand but that’s only because I’m an introvert and not because I’m Finnish.

My mother used to talk to strangers. But they had the look “why are you talking to me, I don’t know you” look. Especially younger people have it. You would think they would be more sophisticated when it comes to manners but it isn’t so. Finns prefer short answers and only talk to people they know. When you hear that Finns are rude, some people are. They only pretend to be friendly to tourists but the truth is they rather be left alone. It also depends what part of Finland they come from. I’ve known people who are outgoing and talkative but they’re usually from Northern Finland or born closer to Russia. If the Finn is born in the Ostrobothnia region then they are more friendly. But if they are from Southern Finland, they can be quite unfriendly. There are myths about how Finns are and some of them are true. In every country there’s always someone who seems rude so it’s not only a Finnish thing.

Even if we’re bad at communication, not all is bad. We’re honest and if we have an appointment, we always arrive in time. We’re also proud of our heritage. If you want to make a Finn happy, compliment Finland in every positive way. Even the mention Finland or Finnish in foreign media will make headlines over here. It gets better if a Finn get great success abroad. A good example is the recent Xfactor competition in the UK where Saara Aalto is taking part. For you in Europe might know what I’m talking about. Every time she has been shortlisted to the next level, there’s big headlines of it. I don’t watch that kind of shows so I don’t know anything about what that competition is really about. As long as a Finn finds success, everything is great. It’s after a Finn fails when the monsters come out and play, a.k.a. Finnish jealousy. That’s another story.

Communication in Finland means mobile phones. That’s one of the reasons why Nokia phones were so popular. If you want long conversations, call a Finn. But you need to know them first. Small talk is a swear word over here. We don’t do it no matter what. That’s the reason Facebook is more popular than Twitter. It’s easier to tell your friends on FB about what goes on in your life than telling strangers on Twitter what’s going on. If you happened to talk to a Finn face to face, it’s because they’re drunk. Other times they ignore you. It’s kind of sad really that alcohol is a way to get them talk to strangers. Especially Finnish men. You can’t have a decent conversation with drunk people. If Finns weren’t so alcohol thirsty, this country would be a better place to live in. But it’s also a good country where you have freedom to do things without having to fear authority. If people could only open they’re mouth to say ‘Hi’, it would be even a better place.