Everything I do, or try to do, feels like Mission: Impossible. My goals for the year are already slipping away. One of them is keeping up a social media posting schedule; I should have posts lined up in my calendar, but I haven’t gotten anything done (only one). This month is going by so fast. It’s almost the middle of the month, and it’s only a matter of time before the month is over. It wouldn’t matter if I were writing about daily things, but when it comes to writing texts for finding paying clients, so I can become an entrepreneur. The years seem to begin the same way. I have hopes and dreams for that year, but suddenly it’s April. I thought 2026 would be my year. But that’s what I have been telling myself for years.
Sometimes it feels like I have ADHD, but in my head. I have so many things I want to say, or in my case, write. But you can’t say everything at once. Dealing with different subjects in a short period of time doesn’t work. I want to share my thoughts about different things. My brain is like a high-speed internet connection, but the delivery is on dial-up. If the Internet didn’t exist, I would write in a diary as I did before. Some days I wonder if people like my posts only because of the image, or if they actually read the text. Sometimes when I post, I get a like a little too quickly, especially if the text is long. No one can read that fast! Despite that, I keep writing because I know there is always someone out there who appreciates a long read.
I write my thoughts on different things on my mobile or Google Docs, but then I try to write about one subject, even getting help from AI, I still get a feeling I need to say everything at once. I need to learn to be patient and keep in mind that I don’t need to write and share things all at once. Then it might not be a mission impossible, and the stress won’t exist.
I thought it would be fun if you could interview yourself. Asking yourself questions you wish someone would ask, but no one ever does. This is not a selfish act like a particular American presidential candidate does *cough* Trump *cough* It’s only a bit of fun, and maybe get to know me better. The questions are from Gemini (Google AI)
Questions to Get to Know You Better
General Interest
What are you passionate about?
I’m not passionate about anything. I have opinions and things I like to do, but I wouldn’t call them passions.
What kind of music do you enjoy listening to?
I listen to all kinds of music, except music styles where they scream. My favourite band is Duran Duran and Bon Jovi. My favourite singers are Robbie Williams and Bryan Adams. If I wrote every band and singer, it would take forever to write them down. Besides Robbie, Bryan and DD, I’ve been to Pet Shop Boys and Toto concerts. That might give you a general idea of what kind of music I listened to.
Do you have any hobbies or interests?
My prominent hobby is writing this blog. But I also do photography, write fan fiction, cycle, and watch movies.
What is your favourite book or movie?
I don’t read much, but I like biographies and books about different subjects. I love movies, and I have many favourites. (FYI; When I was 10 years old, I belonged to a movie club.) I love Lord of the Rings and Pirates of the Caribbean. I’ve seen those movies several times on DVD. I also love The Hobbit movies, the most underrated trilogy ever.
Where would you like to travel if you could go anywhere in the world?
New Zeeland, but I probably never will. You need money to travel, and I can only afford cruises to Stockholm or Tallinn. Being unemployed sucks when it comes to money.
Personal and Background
What is your ideal day like?
I could sleep all day and stay up all night, but life is too short to do only that. It would be nice to do things I like, but you don’t get paid to do that.
What are you proud of achieving?
I might be proud of having a good upbringing and the courage to stay alive even if things weren’t always good.
What is something you’ve learned recently?
I feel that all my hard work on social media is being ignored. Maybe it’s the algorithms, or I’m not good enough to be liked for what I post there.
What’s one thing you’d like to improve about yourself?
I wish I weren’t so lazy about starting things. I also wish I could make decisions faster than I do now.
What kind of environment do you thrive in?
Where I can be alone most of the time.
Future Goals and Aspirations
What are your long-term goals?
To find peace. Since my dad died in February, I still have things to do. Some things take so long. I will sell my flat, but the cleaning and all that takes forever.
What kind of work environment do you prefer?
I need a place where I can do my work in peace. I can work if the music is on, but if someone is talking, it’s a different manner.
What motivates you in your career?
I don’t have a career. You need a job to have that.
What challenges are you excited to overcome?
Excited isn’t the word, but I was happy to finish or leave an education I didn’t like.
What do you hope to achieve in the next five years?
I don’t have a job, and it looks like I won’t either. I hope I can be an entrepreneur by then. But I haven’t even started yet, so maybe it won’t happen. If I do, I hope it succeeds fasten then in 5 years.
Deeper Questions
What makes you laugh?
Comedy. People that have a particular look on their faces in comedy shows or movies. Kelsey Grammar (Frasier) has the best one. That’s what made the show funny to this day. Also, Jim Carrey makes me laugh.
What are you grateful for in your life?
I had parents who let me be me. Without them, I’m not the person I am today. I’m also grateful for having a sister, even if I only had her for six years. Having both of my grandmothers was also a blessing. May they all rest in peace.
What is your biggest fear?
My biggest fear used to be dogs, but I got over it. Now, I don’t mind if one sniffs me. I used to be terrified if they got even close. My other fear was losing my parents, but now they’re gone anyway. At least I had them around while growing up. If I lost them as a teenager, then things could be different. Death is part of life, and one day, I will be gone, too. My biggest fear is that I get cancer like my mother or I will get some other illness with lots of pain. I also fear needles. That’s one of the reasons why I don’t donate blood or get a tattoo.
What is something you’re struggling with right now?
To go to bed early and wake up early, too. I don’t have a reason to get up when I don’t have a job.
What is your life philosophy?
You get born, you live a decent life, and then you die.
As it happens, we talked about dreams and goals on the last day of the filmmaking course. Listening to my classmates’ goals, I felt like a pirate on land. My goals aren’t anything cool. I wish I could be brave and do something about it, but I’m stuck in a moment. If I was younger, I could start all over again. I feel like a loser compared to my classmates. They weren’t interested in me anyway. Maybe I’m a boring person or something. They were friendly to me, but only a ship passed by. Or a pirate ship, arrr. I was sad when they didn’t even ask if I wanted to accompany them after the day. I wouldn’t have gone anyway, but it would have been nice to be asked. They probably wouldn’t even hear me or even care. I won’t see them again, so it’s bygone.
My goal wasn’t to get into the movie business. It was only something I was interested in. Education is never wrong. Getting into a film school is too complicated. I don’t want to study for several years. Maybe the diploma is not a big deal for others, but I’m glad I went. Dreams and goals are two different things. I don’t plan goals too far ahead because my mind is indecisive. Big goals have never come true, so I have small goals. It won’t dream big either for the same reasons. This filmmaking diploma is a completed goal. I finished all the assignments on time, and I took part in every school day. Here’s another feather in my pirate hat.
Diploma
My next goal begins in October when I start an education about digital marketing. I hope to find something else to do too, but that’s uncertain. I don’t feel optimistic about getting a job. Even internships are hard to find. No one is looking for one, it seems. My goals and dreams are dashed once again. But you manage somehow because you’ll be wasting your life if you give up. If people gave up their dreams and goals, many things wouldn’t happen. You need to keep the faith.
In my world 