Repost: Listening to the voices in my head

brown floor board
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Reposting about photogenic.

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Originally posted on

Can’t Stand Me

When I read the daily post subject of today I thought it was about what you dislike about yourself. But when I saw it’s about what’s worse, hearing your own voice or seeing yourself on video, it’s almost right.
I would say my voice. It’s OK when I talk and record my voice but when I hear it in something else, then it’s horrible. I heard my voice on the radio once when I won a competition and I sounded like my mother. That’s the least thing you want to sound like. When I answered a phone, the person on the other end thought I was her. It was not the sound of her voice, the problem was I sounded like her. Like twins. I wanted a voice of my own. Sometimes I hate my voice. I can barely listen to myself when I’m at my worse.

It’s not that unbearable when it comes to seeing myself on video. I was on TV once and I wasn’t as horrified as when I see myself on photos. That’s even worse. That’s a reason I don’t post selfies and photos where you can see me. I prefer being behind the camera. I’m just not that photogenic. When I see myself in photos as an adult, the voice in my head says, ugly. It was different when I was a kid. I was cute then. I don’t know what happened. Adding a photo of myself to a CV terrifies me. I avoid every single photo of me as much as I can. I rather let people see me in real life than in photos or videos.

A queue of enjoyable writing

old pen on white paper
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What do you enjoy most about writing?

Daily Prombt
1–2 minutes

What I mostly enjoy about writing is that I have time to think. I prefer it to speaking. You don’t have time to say what you want when you talk, at least in my case. I often wish I had said something, but time has passed, and people have changed the subject. Sometimes I use a pencil and paper, but mostly I type on the computer. It’s faster, and your hand don’t get tired. I don’t only write this blog, but I also write fiction. It’s a queue of enjoyable writing.

I don’t know if you can call it a problem, but I don’t seem to finish the stories I’ve written. There is a queue of unfinished work. I just get bored of the stories and get new ideas. Writing can be stressful sometimes, but I enjoy it the most when I get my thoughts written down. Everyone is good at something, and writing is my strongest point. Especially when it comes to imagination. Writing is enjoyable when ideas come pouring. When I write, it can take hours. But when ideas don’t come, it’s then when I don’t like writing.

There are times I don’t have the motivation to write, so I take a break. A break would do everyone good, and then come back stronger than ever. Having a break from something creative, you find new inspiration to continue. It doesn’t need to be creative; it can be anything you do in life. Writing is a great hobby to have, and I hope I will do it for a long time.

Bloganuary: A billion dream

pile of money
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Blogaunuary: If you had a billion US dollars, how would you spend it?

In my case, it’s in Euros. But money doesn’t make you happy. Having money is good, but having a billion would be a nightmare. Many problems exist worldwide, so I wonder if a billion is enough. It’s hard to imagine what to do with all of that money. Many homeless people would have homes, that’s for sure. The way people treat poor people is appalling. Greed is a terrible thing. Many problems would be solved if people with lots of money would give something back to society. Now they only use the money for their own amusement. Certain people shouldn’t have all that money.

If I had a billion, I would try to get rid of it as soon as possible. I would keep enough so I wouldn’t need to find work and have no money issues. The rest I would give to different charity organisations. One of them would be for cancer and other deadly disease research. The other would be for saving the whales and other sea creatures. There are so many ways to get rid of that billion. But there is no money, so there is no help. It’s all a billion dream, after all.