Repost: Introduction to introversion

Don’t try to mend a person who isn’t even broken. This is an old post because I didn’t get anything new out of my mind today.

Mia's avatarIn my world

yawning ferret Looks like screaming but it’s yawning

The biggest mystery seems to be introversion. Like it’s something negative. I really need to fret about this a bit more. You won’t get hired because you’re not extroverted enough. It seems that people see you’re introverted as soon as they meet you. That’s what I’ve experienced at least. I hate meeting new people because it’s like it says introverted on my forehead. People notice straight away that I don’t say much and then they’ve already judged me. In job interviews (well that one I got last year) I got the feeling my answers weren’t that satisfying to the interviewer. I was too quiet. Like that’s a bad thing. I don’t know how long answers you need to have. I’m not gonna make things up that aren’t true. I don’t even get that many ideas into my head at one second. I’ll never get…

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Like searching a needle in a haystack

needle in a haystack
Made in Canva

Another Monday and another week. That’s how life goes. Tomorrow it’s Tuesday and soon it’s weekend again. What to do during that week is like searching a needle in a haystack. It helps if you got a job or a school to go to. Or you have a family. Then you know what you’re gonna do. But if you have none of those things your life can be a bit boring. You read or hear you can do something about it but does it really work for everyone? Everyone isn’t born with a golden spoon in their mouth. Or have the courage to do just anything. Sometimes things don’t come to you no matter what. One of them is job search or applying to a school. A lot of people fall under the radar because they don’t get anywhere. Especially a young person should have something to do when they graduate from compulsory education. They need someone who can show them in the right direction. A parent or a professional instructor.

I’m very thankful for my mother and my instructor in 9th grade that I applied to something after school. I didn’t want to at first but now years later I’m glad I did apply. It was health care studies that lasted a year. In a way I’m been lucky by getting into these educations I applied for. Who knows what would have happened if I hadn’t. My resume would look a lot emptier. Unfortunately, my efforts have no value for others. At having done at least something isn’t good enough. You need to be superhuman to get a job it seems. It’s even harder if you’re an introvert. It’s discrimination if you ask me. You need to be outgoing, talkative and over positive. There is still a lot of myths about introverts that extroverts believe in. You would think in a country like Finland, an introvert would have it easier but it’s not. There’s a lot of assuming. People think you’re quiet all the time just because you gave short answers in a job interview or that you’re not talkative as soon as you meet a new person. The word anti-social should be taken out of the dictionary. It’s should be called selectively social. People who are on their phones are the ones who are anti-social. Some people don’t seem to understand that social doesn’t mean talkative. We can all be talkative if it’s a subject we know something about or have an opinion about. Being social is overrated. An introvert might be quiet but we’re not deaf. Multitasking is a skill that some people can’t master. So I think one of the reasons I’m not hired is because I’m an introvert. There can be other reasons too though.

What is also searching for a needle in a haystack is what to do for a living. I looked for that for years. I wish I could have known much earlier but no can do. I know now but I lack job experience. Why do people say how important education is? You don’t get a job like that. You need job experience. It’s easier if you’re in your 20’s but if you change careers at 40 something you don’t get anything. If you do you need luck and lots of it. Some people get burnouts from too much working and some can’t even find a job. It doesn’t make any sense but that’s life. For me, work isn’t the most important thing. Earning your own money is nice but that doesn’t bring you happiness. Doing what makes you most comfortable is. I rather have that then trying to be something I’m not just because the society expects me to. It will never happen so you better accept it.

A herd, an army, call it what you want

herd of giraffes in the horizon
Made in Canva

Ever felt you don’t belong in a certain group? Everyone seems to belong to a herd of some kind. If it’s hobbies, school or in a workplace. No one seems to have the same interest as you or you study something you’re interested in but still, it feels you don’t belong. You don’t how many times I felt like that. I don’t belong to any herd or army, call it what you want. I’m a loner but still, it would be nice to belong somewhere. Of course, there is always the internet but I’ll never find anything in real life where I could feel I belong. Internet in that sense is the greatest thing in the world. That’s a world I feel most comfortable with. Blogging is one of those things that I feel I’m a part of that herd. It still can a lonely business but that’s something I don’t suffer from. Alone but hardly lonely or how does the saying go.

When I was younger I felt like an outsider and I didn’t like the feeling at all. Now I don’t think about it. I don’t really care. I’m my own person and if you don’t like being by yourself, you’ll never learn how good it feels to be alone once in a while. When I feel I belong in a group, it still feels like I don’t belong. It’s because it’s usually only one thing I have in common with them and the rest is nothing. I’m old enough to know there is no point spending time with people who aren’t at the same wavelength as me. I will rather be alone than feeling bored with people I don’t feel connected to. I can talk to people but it won’t become friendships and I’m totally fine with that. The main thing is that I’ve finished my educations despite that.

I want to walk my own path and I don’t really need a herd. That’s what independence means. Doing things you like and not being forced to be or do something others expect you to. I don’t need a lot of people around me to be happy. That’s the introvert in me. Too much noise and too many people are stressful. In Helsinki Design School last time, I had to take a walk on the break because a lot of people were talking at once. It was a relief to go out and when I came back I felt more relaxed. I will never understand why people want to be in herds when you have to talk loudly to be heard. Pubs and clubs are places I want to avoid. It’s better to follow your own heart than do everything the herd do. If I want to join a herd I think long and hard if I want to follow it or not. But mostly I don’t and that should be absolutely fine for others.