Tag: job search

Throw a dart at empty promises

Mia5 Comments

darts on board

Life is like a TV commercial, promises that are said to help you. But the truth is they’re just a shell with no substance. You should do this and you should do that and a miracle will happen. I’ve had so many disappointments in my life I just want to throw a dart at empty promises. One of the promises I dislike the most is these networking channels like LinkedIn. I’ve been there for 5 years and I only have 7 connections. I think it’s just a place where popular people get noticed. Maybe the service just isn’t for Finnish people. Our country is too small for this kind of thing. If you don’t have connections from your past, there is no use for it. Then you hear stories from people who actually have to find a job through LinkedIn and you just think who did they bribe because that person must be really lucky. It’s just too good to be true. LinkedIn in a job search is useless. I will only keep it as a memo for my past educations and work experiences to remind myself. It doesn’t matter if my CV is in this service or sending paper versions to employers. The result will still be the same, no job.

The other empty promises are education. They say it’s important because you have a better chance to find a job. That’s just BS. All these qualifications are useless. You can have hundreds of them but still, no one wants to give you a chance. The same with internships. If you get one you can get your foot between the door, you might get a job there in the future. Yeah right. All you get is a good luck and they shut the door behind you. Then when you get older, it’s even harder to get “your foot between the door” You don’t even have a look in. The the only use you have for your qualifications is keeping you sane. If I wasn’t used to being unemployed, I would be worried and feel unwanted. Lucky for me, I’m alone and I don’t have to support anyone. It’s different for those who have a family. Some of them can’t even afford food. It’s really difficult to stay motivated when there’s no light at the end of the tunnel. All these tips about how to find a job are empty promises. I’ve never got anything by chance. I’m never in the right place at the right place. There are times I just want to give up and live on well-fare the rest of my life. But I want to have meaning with my life. I want a job and not become one of those lowlives who doesn’t even bother looking for a job. But because I’m not suitable for companies images, I don’t get anything.

You shouldn’t give hope to a person who’s been disappointed so many times. Nothing is worse than empty promises. Telling them to be patient doesn’t help either. How much patience must a person have anyway? Will it take years, decades or never? Politicians are known for their empty promises but it shouldn’t happen in daily life. You learn from empty promises by not getting your hopes up. That’s probably the only good thing that comes out of it. If it’s even good. Next someone promises me something, I’m just gonna ignore them because once you lose trust, it’s hard to get it back. Sometimes it’s gone for good.

Life is a smorgasbord

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small chocolate cakes

Smorgasbord (a.k.a. buffet) is not only something we eat on Stockholm cruises everytime we go. It’s also life. It’s all about choices. There is a lot of them and sometimes we don’t like the choices we make. Or we don’t know what to take because everything looks tempting. The other is to have enough courage to try something new.

I wish I could be like how Anthony Bourdain was (RIP) He was never afraid to eat what he was offered. He always tried something new. I could never do it. I’m very picky about food and I’m always reserved for trying something new. Once I was brave enough to try sushi which I would never have done when I was younger. I didn’t like the food but at least I tried. I’m not only picky when it comes to food. I would want to be brave like Bourdain but with career choices. I’m probably the most indecisive person there is. I just think and think but I’m too much of coward to do anything about it.

I’ve had a lot of ideas about what I wanted to do. I was at the smorgasbord of career choices but there were just too many things I wanted. Or too many boring choices. I was too concentrated on what I wanted to do so other people have gone past me on the life train. Age is nothing but a number and it doesn’t mean experience. Some 20 years old can have more experience than me. I might have more life experience but it doesn’t mean I’ve tasted life more. In some things, I can be more experienced but not when it comes to jobs. There’s a big gap in my work history. The employers would probably think what I’ve done all my life if I hadn’t studied something. Now I still don’t have a job so some people would probably think something is wrong with me. Well, so what? No one is perfect. There’s is no time machine so I can’t go back and change my past.

There is a choice on the smorgasbord of career choices and that’s entrepreneurship. I’ve been to the course and found information of it by myself. I even have a business plan. So what am I waiting for? Mostly courage I think. It’s so hard to start anything when you have so much else to do. Maybe it’s because it’s summer and holiday season so I just wait for Autumn. The only thing I know I’ll do is the graphic design course. For now, I just want to explore the smorgasbord of freedom. I think about those other things later.

“Our list of allies grows thin”

Mia3 Comments

thin eleven dice

In this case, my allies grows thin. I have no plans what to do next. Except for that graphic design course in Helsinki Design School. This heat we have now makes me tired and I can’t concentrate. It’s only May but it feels like summer. I just hate hot weather and I wish it would be over for good. At least there will be some release soon. Summer also mean summer jobs. For young people that is. People go on their holidays and you can’t contact any of the employers. Companies have their substitutes already. Time just isn’t on my side. So isn’t my age.

I’m turning 41 in June and the older I get fewer changes I have. It gets thinner and thinner. It doesn’t help last time I had a job was in 2012 and it wasn’t even paid. I had that on-the-job learning thing but I guess that’s not appreciated either. Employers probably think I’m lazy because I haven’t bothered getting a job. It doesn’t help I’ve studied things. They want people with jobs and not a long-term unemployed person. Not only that but also people with talking skills. I fail at job interviews because I’m an introvert who can’t act extroverted. When I try to find a job to apply for it’s in a different city and I’m under qualified. I got so many flaws and feel I failed at employment altogether. There is no use crying over something that has already happened. I should look forward and keep the faith.

I wish I wasn’t such a dreamer. I should do something about my life instead of complain about it. I just feel I’m a misfit for everything. There are times I’ve felt I belonged. Like in studying but when it comes to making things for a living, I’m totally in a different universe. Once in my life, I want to do something brave and being an entrepreneur is one of them. But it’s so hard to decide to do it or not. I did the course but it doesn’t mean I can really do it. I don’t want to fail and start all over again. I lack the experience of a real paid job but a lot of young people start a business without any experience so that shouldn’t be a problem for me. There are so many questions and thin answers that I don’t know what to do. I read about blogs about entrepreneurs who’s been doing it for years and they make it look so easy. They have their problems but they solve them. It feels like I don’t really belong to that brave bunch. Because they are brave unlike me who do anything to avoid problems. I don’t seem to have that entrepreneur mindset either.

Every time I look for a job to apply for I don’t find anything suitable. I want to give up the job search altogether. Especially that active model Finland has now where you have to get a job or else you lose part of your unemployment benefits. Entrepreneurship looks so much more tempting. Starting one isn’t the hardest part though, it’s what comes after it. My problems are really decision making. As long as I’m healthy and vibrant anything can be possible. If you give up and start thinking you’re not wanted anywhere, it’s then you lose yourself and your hopes will be dashed. Allies might get thin but you can always find new ones. There’s always someone with the same kind of problems. You can find a solution one way or another. The best feeling is when you can share your thoughts with other people and they can relate to it. I really hope this post has had that same effect.